expat

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make melon helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first Nobel Peace Prize . At the age of 14, an Amazonian tribal elder named Bacon Rind ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

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Recent

expat WAKIdesigns's article
Nov 22, 2014 at 6:50
16 hours
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and internet blogs are like graffiti with punctuation...
expat reecewallace's video
Nov 17, 2014 at 14:24
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one of these days I 'm going to shred that place into little pieces....

expat pinkbikeaudience's article
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not reeaally a Mustang anymore is it?
expat antidotebikes's article
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"go and do something nice for a person". sounds like someone needs to live by their own advice...
expat brule's article
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third comment, so close....
expat karl-burkat's article
Nov 10, 2014 at 10:07
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expat JordanCarr's article
Nov 6, 2014 at 0:12
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2k for a pair of wheels? they would need to be gold-plated and diamond encrusted.....
expat reinholds's article
Oct 19, 2014 at 21:39
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CycloGuess
can i have the Nokia 5110 version?
expat luckynugget's video
Oct 17, 2014 at 17:05
Oct 17, 2014
video
nice job guys! I was the guy on the orange ktm with the guy on the red quad who stopped when you were filming at the step-up, great music choice!

expat dbaker's article
Sep 27, 2014 at 10:26
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#letshavemorepointlesshashtags
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