expat

  • Member since Jun 15, 2009
  • 9 Followers
  • Sun Peaks , British Columbia
  • Male / 40

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make melon helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first Nobel Peace Prize . At the age of 14, an Amazonian tribal elder named Bacon Rind ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

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Recent

Sep 16, 2014 at 13:29
15 hours
Sep 16, 2014 at 8:37
20 hours
expat Steeze007's photo
Sep 14, 2014 at 6:54
3 days
puns are a waste of time with kleptomaniacs, they always take things the wrong way...

expat BLURMEDIA's video
Sep 8, 2014 at 20:06
Sep 8, 2014
video
about as funny as a brain tumor, which I now have.

expat mikekazimer's article
Dec 3, 2013 at 9:00
Dec 3, 2013
To the Point: Power Meters
i couldn't give less of a shit if i tried
expat cloverleaf's article
Nov 12, 2013 at 19:49
Nov 12, 2013
Maxim Maya - First Ride
i disagree. plenty in the bike business
expat cloverleaf's article
Nov 11, 2013 at 18:15
Nov 11, 2013
Maxim Maya - First Ride
a comment like that from the nation that brought you the Hummer, as opposed to the nation that brought you Aston Martins....
expat waazaa's photo
Jun 20, 2013 at 9:08
Jun 20, 2013
bad time to stop for a nap

expat r-mullen's photo
Jun 19, 2013 at 22:11
Jun 19, 2013
can you send her back I'm missing her too much?! just kidding, enjoy!

expat 's article
Jun 11, 2013 at 20:23
Jun 11, 2013
Sun Peaks Bike Park June Update
you paying us a visit this season?
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