expat

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make melon helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first Nobel Peace Prize . At the age of 14, an Amazonian tribal elder named Bacon Rind ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

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expat reinholds's article
Oct 19, 2014 at 21:39
Oct 19, 2014
CycloGuess
can i have the Nokia 5110 version?
expat luckynugget's video
Oct 17, 2014 at 17:05
Oct 17, 2014
video
nice job guys! I was the guy on the orange ktm with the guy on the red quad who stopped when you were filming at the step-up, great music choice!

expat dbaker's article
Sep 27, 2014 at 10:26
Sep 27, 2014
Red Bull Rampage 2014: Nugs From The Qualies
#letshavemorepointlesshashtags
expat expat's photo
Sep 20, 2014 at 18:50
Sep 20, 2014
thanks, yeah be good if they put it on prostar or walk the line!

Added 1 photo to stuff
Sep 20, 2014 at 8:52
Sep 20, 2014
2 comments – Add comment
Sep 16, 2014 at 13:29
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 8:37
Sep 16, 2014
expat Steeze007's photo
Sep 14, 2014 at 6:54
Sep 14, 2014
puns are a waste of time with kleptomaniacs, they always take things the wrong way...

expat BLURMEDIA's video
Sep 8, 2014 at 20:06
Sep 8, 2014
video
about as funny as a brain tumor, which I now have.

expat mikekazimer's article
Dec 3, 2013 at 9:00
Dec 3, 2013
To the Point: Power Meters
i couldn't give less of a shit if i tried
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