My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make melon helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first Nobel Peace Prize . At the age of 14, an Amazonian tribal elder named Bacon Rind ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking... I suggest you try it.

Block user


expat WAKIdesigns's article
Nov 22, 2014 at 6:50
16 hours
WAKi-Leaks Installment 8 - Mental Side of MTB
and internet blogs are like graffiti with punctuation...
expat reecewallace's video
Nov 17, 2014 at 14:24
Nov 17, 2014
one of these days I 'm going to shred that place into little pieces....

expat pinkbikeaudience's article
Nov 17, 2014 at 9:28
Nov 17, 2014
Video: Ken Block's Urban Shuttle Car
not reeaally a Mustang anymore is it?
expat antidotebikes's article
Nov 10, 2014 at 11:09
Nov 10, 2014
Photo Epic: Jaws Samples Canada’s Finest
"go and do something nice for a person". sounds like someone needs to live by their own advice...
expat brule's article
Nov 10, 2014 at 11:03
Nov 10, 2014
Photo of the Month - October 2014
third comment, so close....
expat karl-burkat's article
Nov 10, 2014 at 10:07
Nov 10, 2014
expat JordanCarr's article
Nov 6, 2014 at 0:12
Nov 6, 2014
Reynolds 27.5 AM Carbon Wheelset - Review
2k for a pair of wheels? they would need to be gold-plated and diamond encrusted.....
expat reinholds's article
Oct 19, 2014 at 21:39
Oct 19, 2014
can i have the Nokia 5110 version?
expat luckynugget's video
Oct 17, 2014 at 17:05
Oct 17, 2014
nice job guys! I was the guy on the orange ktm with the guy on the red quad who stopped when you were filming at the step-up, great music choice!

expat dbaker's article
Sep 27, 2014 at 10:26
Sep 27, 2014
Red Bull Rampage 2014: Nugs From The Qualies
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