Hannah Report: Battling Demons at Les Deux Alpes

As we drove through the huge valleys and around the massive mountains I had time to reflect back on the last time I was in Les Deux Alpes for Crankworx. I had been practicing for the DH race and crashed on a road gap up top and broke my collarbone for the third time in a row...depressing to say the least. Bones heal, but the mental challenge that follows after multiple injuries in a row is inconceivable; you start to create these safety barriers for yourself to keep you free from injury and exposure to risk. But who wants a barrier when they're racing against the clock? It's not even a question - if you hold yourself back the time doesn't stop, the seconds count by faster and faster until finally you are at the bottom of a run questioning how you came to a place where you're okay with losing.

As the season has progressed by my riding has been getting better and better, and the fear of injury is etching away from my mind. The more I conquer fears the more I allow myself to take risks. My string of injuries ended last year in Crankworx when I broke my collarbone for the third and thankfully final time in a row. Arriving at the summit meant that I had made it a year since my last injury and two years since my first. I was happy to be back.


There is a big road gap at the top of the track with a wooden take off and a steep landing - as you arrive at the start gate you look through the first corner and around the second you can see it right there. This was my nemesis, this is where I crashed out last year. My first few runs I rode up to the lip and straight down the B line. I had thought about this race for the last month and decided that I was okay with taking the B-line, but on my fifth run I rode around the first turn and decided to commit and ride the drop...


I figured after the first time I’d be fine, I guess that's the strange thing about our mental abilities, with life after injury and hesitation holding us back. I actually felt worse and worse every other run. The fear of being injured again was haunting me every time I rode the drop. It didn’t help that during the whole weekend there were a few helicopter pickups. Access to the mountain with an ambulance is difficult, therefore they choose to bring in helicopters to rescue riders when they had serious injuries and couldn't be moved far. For any rider it's hard to see helicopters carrying out someone who has been injured on a bike. Having personally been carried away in a helicopter from the biggest accident of my life, the feeling is all too real and close. Every single run I was fighting back feelings that I have only just begun to overcome. That made this race particularly challenging.


As I rode from the top of the lift station to the beginning of my race run I passed a man on a stretcher covered by a foil blanket awaiting his helicopter ride. Surreal is the only word. Preparing to line up in the start gate I thought about the crazy weekend that had been so far, and I felt really stressed about all the memories that had surfaced over the weekend. As I raced down the hill fighting through those thoughts I realized that I chose this, no one put me here, no one is forcing me to do this, I want to be here. If I’m going to be here than why not try - stop giving up, stop hesitating and stop riding like the past is coming back.


Thanks to my sponsors: Hutchinson UR Team, Hutchinson Tires, Polygon bikes, BOS suspension, E.13, Spank, FiveTen, Formula brakes, Odi, Reverse, VP, 100%, Sony, IXS, Zefal, Ti Spring, Clearprotect, Jetblack, Blackmountain

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