Long Live the Kooks - Opinion

Jul 20, 2016 at 18:39
by Vernon Felton  

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Sunday morning. Coffee shop. The kooks are running amok. It is a sight to behold. They are legion, these middle-aged men wearing their bib shorts over their obscenely-tight Lycra jerseys. Did they all get up this morning, overwhelmed by an undeniable urge to transform their $180 Castelli bib shorts into some kind of sausage-enhancing Lycra overall costume? How else to explain the phenomenon?

Clickety-clack-clickety-clack-clickety-clack…. The kooks mill about on the tiled floor of the coffee shop ever-so-carefully. Their Look cleats and carbon fiber-soled ballet slippers are fit for one thing—dropping the hammer on other kooks during the Sunday morning ride. Walking the 10 feet from the cash register to their table, on the other hand? With those shoes, it is a feat of daring-do on par with scaling the Eiffel Tower after jumping into a vat of KY Jelly.

The kooks slip and slide on the tiled floor as they duck walk along, spilling overpriced latte on the floor, dropping biscotti and F-bombs. They are 50-year old software designers and dentists and tax accountants. They are trumpeting their respective KOMs. They are heroes coming home from their own special war. And believe them when they tell you loudly through mouthfuls of brioche and almond croissants—there were no team cars or domestiques or bottles of champagne on hand. And yet here they are, 20 rolling miles later, invincible in the way that only old guys who brazenly stuff their potbellies into Spandex can be.

They are kooks.

And that is awesome.

Yes, awesome.


Kooks
Photo by Hustvedt/Wikipedia Commons

A KOOK BY ANY OTHER NAME…
You have seen them, these riders with the body armor on the outside of their jerseys, their helmets tilted back upon their heads, a five inch gap of pale flesh ribboned between knee pad and hem of their too-short shorts. Or maybe you’ve seen their cousins, the road kooks. Either way, kooks get a bad rap. Dismissed by cooler riders as some kind of leper plague of the uncool, our kook brethren are scorned. How could anyone look so lame? How could they ride so feebly and artlessly? They are not cyclists.

Bullshit.

First, let’s begin with the simple notion that calling another rider a “Kook” is usually a matter of the pot calling the kettle black. You might be more skilled and fit than the rider you accuse of vile kookery, but odds are you were recently passed by someone who shook their head and mumbled “Kook” as they dropped you.

There is always someone fitter, faster, more steezy and flat-out cooler than you. Life is a spectrum and you sit somewhere on it. While you may think you are comfortably ensconced on the “rad” side of that continuum, trust me, there’s someone else who thinks your place in the universe is far, far away in Kookville.

Are you or are you not currently paid to ride a bicycle because millions of viewers have deemed your riding abilities to be dope beyond belief? If not, it pays to be judicious with your judgments.

But hell, for the sake of argument, let’s suppose you really are lodged firmly amongst the elite in your cycling tribe. It’s still worth bearing in mind that today’s “rad” is invariably tomorrow’s “lame as shit”.

There was a time when Lycra body condoms, thirteen-inch wide handlebars and 180-millimeter stems were The Shit. We can look back at all that now and snicker at how very kook all of that was. At the time, however, it was state-of-the-art awesome. If you weren’t rocking a pair of orange-anodized Caramba Double Barrel cranks and racing in the Elite class at the major cross-country events, you were a kook. Plain and simple.

So, this kook thing….it’s capriciously relative. Something to bear in mind before scoffing at those who you deem pudgier, slower or less rad than yourself.

KOOKS KEEP THE WORLD GOING ROUND
When you discover something and fall in love with it, it’s tempting to try and keep it all to yourself—to draw a narrow line around this thing which divides you and it from the kooks. You find a tribe of people you like and you accept them on your side of the line. They are worthy of this thing you love. The kooks? Not so much.

Maybe you’ve never done the above, but I’ve been guilty of it and I’m certainly not alone. There are plenty of people in our community who scorn the kooks and the Freds for stinking up the joint. And yet, if we want more trails, if we want safer roads, if we want high-school mountain bike teams….we need more people to ride and to become advocates for riding. We need as many people as possible demanding that land managers open trails to riders. We need as many people as we can get, volunteering to build and maintain trails. We need the citizenry to be up in arms when city planners construct new roads that are unsafe to ride on.

In other words, we can scoff at those less cool than ourselves, but we’re better off because they are here. Each and every one of them. There is power in numbers. We need the kooks.

I watch the kooks in my café, as they argue heatedly over which one of them is the leanest and who has notched the most Strava KOMs on his belt. Right now, in fact, one is bragging about how much of a deal he scored on his new bib shorts. While I don’t want to ride with these guys, I silently tip my hat to them.

Long live the kooks.



MENTIONS: @vernonfelton



Author Info:
vernonfelton avatar

Member since Apr 11, 2014
202 articles

198 Comments
  • 306 1
 I am a Kook. I am a Joey. I am a Hipster.
On any given Sunday you can find me squeezed into poorly fitted team kit. I have all the gear, I have a gopro filming my mediocre performances and a GPS unit on my bars carefully recording my times for Strava review later, as I drink a Guatemalan coffee or a craft beer.
I am in the enviable position that I can afford some of the nicer things for my bike. Maybe even a titanium bolt or two. I know I probably look ridiculous.
And I do look enviously on people with more style than me. People who seem to be able to have a down to earth, cool style with carefully picked out mismatched components and clothing. But as hard as I try I like the colour orange and blue so that is what I wear.
But I am friendly. I stop and fix other peoples punctures, I repair peoples bikes out of my own pocket, I give people my spares and I attend to the trail side injuries I so often come across. I will chat and listen to people as I ride or on the little stops. Discuss where they have ridden and where they recommend. I pull out of the way if I know people are coming and apologise if I didn't hear them. I am happy to go a bit slower on the trail if someone slower than me is in front (but in all honesty I would appreciate people being a bit more mindful at times)
I'm just out there to have fun and try and lose some f*cking weight. Because I am fat. But I do like those craft beers
  • 27 6
 Don't want to sound too homo, but... I do want to go for a ride with you! Looks like it would be the funnest in recent times.

And two Kooks equals to a none, right? Wink

BTW I run black only, but beer, latte and criossants send me to the 'heavy' side of scale too Big Grin
  • 10 1
 @szusz: If you ever find yourself in the peak district give me a shout.
  • 4 1
 @tufty: and i can give you 3 a "being cool" lessons Big Grin
....no i cant Frown
craft beer fo life!Big Grin
  • 3 58
flag Mrstamper (Jul 21, 2016 at 4:57) (Below Threshold)
 Hmmm or a cockSmile
  • 46 2
 @Mrstamper: Lets be honest cocks wouldn't make me fat. If anything I would probably try and stay in better shape to attract more cocks
  • 10 1
 You had me at craft beers. Carry on with your kookness.
  • 9 19
flag Mrstamper (Jul 21, 2016 at 5:54) (Below Threshold)
 @tufty: sorry dude,I read hipster and immediately thought of a cock
  • 21 2
 @Mrstamper: I only use the term hipster because I like plaid pattern shirts, I ride a bike, I drink coffee and craft beers and I have a beard. But then I like all that before hipster was a thing....So I am an UberHipster
  • 12 1
 @tufty: I think you meant "protohipster"
  • 14 3
 @tufty: @tufty: @tufty: I drink tea,eat bacon sarnies,swear a lot and fart.i also like bikes almost as much as a crafty pull in the shower after a crafty watch of x hamster.i still pick my nose and never wash my hands after a pony,I've never knowingly wore a 'plaid' shirt I think...I'm what you would call a 'bloke'Salute
  • 4 0
 @Earthmotherfu: You keep living you life man. I salute you
  • 2 9
flag stumpymidget (Jul 21, 2016 at 8:20) (Below Threshold)
 @Mrstamper: I hear you always think of cock.
  • 9 3
 @stumpymidget: I hear you wish you'd got onetup
  • 7 0
 I honestly don't think about who is a kook and who is cool. I find too many people waste time on these these types of comparisons and insecurities.
  • 3 0
 You Sir, are SOMEBODY'S hero. Somebody's motivation.
Somebody out there going "I can be like that guy, someday."
Get after it. You're doing it right.
  • 20 0
 As long as there's no (electric) motor on you're bike, you're part of the tribe!
  • 3 1
 @Earthmotherfu: maaaaaaaate spot on!
  • 4 0
 POST OF THE YEAR !!!! ( me too....)
  • 2 1
 @Earthmotherfu: Xhamster Rocks post of the century need to buy you a Craft Beer maybe i'll ship it to you
  • 1 0
 @tufty You may be many things but you are not a Kook. Cheers!
  • 1 0
 Right on Tufty, keeping up the vibe. Orange and blue forever.
  • 2 1
 @Earthmotherfu: such a cool dude!
  • 2 1
 @baggyferret: ha ha someone had to piss in the punch bowl ha halol
  • 64 1
 A wise old man once told me, without kooks, there're no cool guys. One cannot exist without the other. Its like yin and yang. Without kooks, there'd be no one for the cool dudes to set themselves apart from. So the cool dudes need to be thankful for the kooks. Wax on, wax off!
  • 7 1
 Exactly what I wanted to say! Kooks are needed. Without them all of us would be kooks...
  • 11 0
 @szusz: If you ask the rest of the world we're all fkin KOOKS....
  • 1 0
 And proud!
  • 1 0
 in a kind of easy going kind of way...
  • 10 23
flag WAKIdesigns (Jul 21, 2016 at 9:36) (Below Threshold)
 We need E-bikes too
  • 25 1
 Quiet Waki.
  • 56 1
 Here's a man who understands that being human is a team sport. Cheers Vernon.
  • 1 0
 And a lot of the people who show up for trail work days are kooks. Don't forget that.
  • 52 2
 MAMILS - middle aged men in lycra. It's a real disease with real doctors snd stuff.
  • 9 1
 Yes, I have a MAMIL relative or two and one is a doctor. There's a time and a place - on the road and as infrequently as possible depending on your bodily dimensions. The sights we see around here in summer are appalling. Then again - kudos to them for getting out on their bikes and even racing.
  • 6 2
 Someone please explain to me why they wear this skin tight gear that makes them look like the product of a malfunctioning sausage making machine. Do they actually believe this will trim (wow, choice of words) that much time from their Strava records??
Since many of them are professionals, do a cost-benefit analysis: Benefit = 0.5 seconds/km in a head wind Cost = scaring the general public with your multi-coloured spanx.
  • 5 1
 For the record I have nothing against anyone who rides a bike as long as you don't wear lycra when you aren't racing.
  • 1 0
 I remember when the pros were racing in full lycra for the Worlds DH races. IDK how they had the guts to pull that off. One fall and you possibly could get indecent exposure.
  • 5 0
 @drummuy04: They had big balls back then. Especially with the primitive body armour. Ah the good old days when you rode everything on a steep angled short travel 26er with rim brakes and a 150mm stem.
  • 27 1
 There was a time when Lycra body condoms, thirteen-inch wide handlebars and 180-millimeter stems were The Shit. We can look back at all that now and snicker at how very kook all of that was. At the time, however, it was state-of-the-art awesome. If you weren’t rocking a pair of orange-anodized Kooka Double Barrel cranks and racing in the Elite class at the major cross-country events, you were a kook. Plain and simple.


Nah... I was bmx'in then
  • 13 10
 Kids fads never fade, BMX, skateboard, playing any sort of ball. It is the hobbies of middle upper class adults that are always sentenced to suck sooner or later. Because overdeveloped cheap hobbies suck and we all know it, that's why we try to make it so important. Strava is an amazing training tool, that's it. As soon as you try to use it as a wall with medals, you are a dork, because it is racing that is made for medals. Same with taking to s of pics of your self. Pros don't need to do it much, there are photgraphers who are standing in line to shoot with them.
  • 11 1
 Damn, I loved Kooka cranks....
  • 4 1
 @RBWebb: my kooka stem will always be missed.
  • 2 0
 I broke or saw broken every Kooka part I ever came across....but people still bought them like crazy. Ha!
  • 2 0
 @bman33: yeah, but the Kooka/ Cook Bros. bling factor was huge!! You can anodize anything.....
  • 2 1
 @RBWebb: weren't Kooka cranks the ones that snapped in the middle and impaled your lower leg or was that AC. I bought Raceface cause they were forged.
  • 4 1
 @fartymarty: AC, Kooka, Cook Brothers, Grafton, etc. All those squared tapered, CNC-machine cranks snapped like twigs back then. Shimano , Race Face or Profile chromoly cranks were the only real options back then.
  • 1 0
 @fartymarty: they were!! But looked cool!
  • 3 0
 @WAKIdesigns: @WAKIdesigns: tell that to pogs and tamogochis.
  • 3 0
 @bman33: still rock profiles on my old spooky metalhead for dirt jumping. If it ain't broke, don't fix it
  • 2 0
 @RBWebb: They did look cool especially in ano purple. I never had any ano purple (poor student and all that) but it was the bomb.
  • 25 2
 Pretty sure ratboy had his armour on the outside at the last World Cup. He is faster than me.
  • 5 1
 And for most of this season. No f*cks given.
  • 6 1
 Ratboy's been using a roost guard designed for MX, it's meant to be worn on top, not sure how well it would actually protect you in crash but it gets around the euro back protector rules.
  • 4 5
 @Allergysix: seems funny he'd choose that option if it offers less protection given the prevalence of more suitable options his peers wear. Looks rad though. I've always wondered why he's worn a roost guard in recent seasons.
  • 2 0
 @Allergysix: I've also heard that his fox helmet is the only non-MX helmet he trusts to protect him when riding DH, maybe he has more faith in MX gear overall.
  • 2 0
 @Allergysix: I've been looking at these guards myself. The ones from Leatt. Most of them are indeed 'just' roost guards, but there are also ones that are certified as impact guards. Not sure what Ratboy is using but not all of these guards are necessarily just roost protection. Still thinking about buying one. I now have a POC Spine Tee but I do feel it's restricting my movements a bit. I think these external guards may solve that problem. I'll have to try and see though. It's a difficult trade of, comfort and protection. You need the right amount of both.
  • 20 0
 I'll be honest, I didn't even know the term 'Kook' existed in this context... Does that make me a Kook? Saying that I've had to spend my entire cycling life learning everything from the internet, magazines or making it up, because I live in the center of the land of people who are too boring to venture a minute out of their way on their commutes, and who have nothing to look forward too. Okay... I'm definitely a Kook.
  • 3 0
 @kelownakona: Exactly, it seems like the term Kook is a better description of ALL amateur cyclists, because we all blag it to some degree!
  • 2 1
 I think 'Joey' is the more familiar term
  • 1 0
 We used kook a lot back in the mid 90's. You know, you're sitting with your little brother on the top of a climb when all of a sudden a group of "old men", like in there late 30's or early 40's, come up the climb. Wearing a neon tank top, running shoes, khaki shorts, a fanny pack (we called them hip sacks) and a Bell helmet from the late 80's. They made it and start hi-fiving each other and you're like,"Look at those kooks!". I at least match these days, mostly black. But I'm in my mid 40's now and the last time I was at Ray's indoor, I jumped (and cleared) the expert jump line on my 29er.... and I was wearing baggy shorts and a loose fit t-shirt... I have a feeling I stuck out like a sore thumb in a world full of skinny jeans, form fitting shirts and 26ers for some reason..
  • 1 0
 And what's up with "scorn the kooks and the Freds for stinking up the joint."

(yes, my name is Fred) =(
  • 2 0
 @oldschool43: those guys.. Super stoked, screaming and high fiveing their way down the trail! That's the guys you wanna ride with. So much stoke
  • 22 3
 To anybody negatively judging anybody who got off the couch and hopped on a bike ride: f*ck you. f*ck you, and shut up.
  • 2 2
 ha you realize what website youre commenting on right? the comments section of any given post is generally built around judging. vernon says kooks are cool and everyone will be all "love thy brother". juuuuust until the next article comes out and the shit talk begins again.
  • 2 0
 @lyophilization: Judging stupid industry BS. Riders are cool.
  • 18 3
 It's been said that trail runners are just people who can't ride bikes, and roadies are simply scared of rocks. Why else would you dress up in spandex to go play in traffic?? None of it's true of course. We're all biased toward our own sport. At least they're not sitting on the couch. Bikes are cool no matter what.
  • 4 0
 I'm a mountain biker because I'm afraid of cars. Sort of.
  • 16 1
 The older I get the more I want to be that kook that every one avoids. Sometimes not being bothered by others is a great day. A good dose of kook is more correct than asshole.
  • 13 1
 Also, we all need to realise that, to non-cyclists, we are all a bunch of weird ass losers so we might as well stop giving a shit and just enjoy ourselves...

I have to be honest though in that I've rarely come across much in the way of issues out on the trail. One of the things that make me love Mtb so much is the attitude of other riders. New or old, posh bike or junk - is anyone that bothered? When i was new to the sport and had a mechanical someone stopped and offered help. I've no doubt the other guy thought something along the lines of kook but I'll never forget that. How many other sports are like that? I now make a point of doing the same.
  • 3 0
 Out on the trail, no one seems to much mind what you're riding. In online forums, though, God help you - because your unpopular wheel size won't.
  • 10 0
 I am 58, a bit of a lard-ass and wear lycra. Reasons?
1. It is what I have worn for the last 25 years of riding and don't give a rip.
2. A pair of baggies over some sort of padded breif/lycra is too darned hot. (I base this on extensive research with a sample size of one.)
3. I don't own a mirror.
4. With my friends busy throwing up, I can keep up and even occasionally ahead.
  • 8 0
 Once I turned 40 a few years ago.....I failed to care what group I fell in. I just try to wear things that don't make me look fat. Lycra is out. Cheers, heels down....have a good time. And it is true, laughing at others is only laughing at yourself.
  • 8 0
 The irony of course is summed up in the Dunning-Kruger effect. The effect is a bias defined in psychology. The effect states that the unskilled are more likely to believe they are more skilled than the skilled. According to this, if we were to ask a random sample of Pinkbikers whether or not they were the kooks, we would likely find a higher proportion of skilled "cool" riders believing they were kooks and more skill deficient, "un-cool", riders believing they were not.

With maturity sometimes comes the strength to accept weakness and the experience to know what you don't know. I retaught myself to ski this year after a twenty year absence from snow sports and it was interesting to learn to be comfortable doing something I believed I sucked at. I believe the humbling and openness to my weakness from that dramatically improved my mountain biking this year. I was more comfortable being aware of my endless areas for improvement.

I honour the kooks for doing what they want with minimal f$%^ given to their status as perceived by majority group. In the end, being a kook has more to do with status than skill or enjoyment. Well written Vernon! I look forward to more ramblings from the pain cave.
  • 3 3
 What diagnose would you give to a mountain biker who dislikes 90% of mountain bikers?
  • 1 1
 Someone listened to This American Life recently...
  • 1 1
 @n3sta: Was Dunning-Kruger on This American Life? While I love the podcast and am now going to find the episode on it, I actually had to write something on it from a Grad seminar and think about it from time to time when I judge others ("Am I the under-skilled who believes themselves more skilled?"
@WAKIdesigns: I would need way more info to diagnose. Important to remember that the whole point of diagnosis should be to organize treatment. Whatever the diagnosis, I would hope it is nothing that couldn't be solved with more biking, sunshine, connection with others and a bit of self acceptance (last one too hippy?). All the best man.
  • 7 0
 @WAKIdesigns: Antisocial cycling disorder, sometimes called Sprocket Induced-Sociopathy, is a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for wheel size choice, and ignores the rights and feelings of others on the trail and on message boards. People with Sprocket Induced-Sociopathy tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others on the trail harshly or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their line choice or hub spacing.
Individuals with Sprocket Induced-Sociopathy often violate the laws of physics becoming airborn criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. Because of these characteristics, people with this disorder typically can't fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school.
  • 3 0
 @SteveDekker: Something on the Antisocial Cycling Disorder Continuum (ACDC) is definitely a big possibility. If we knew more about his frequency and intensity of Strava use, use of "French" lines, feelings towards Gee Atherton despite never meeting the man and initial anger when presented with a new wheel size or hub spacing standard it would certainly help with the diagnoses.
  • 5 2
 @Steve Dekker - I do have a lot of symptoms of ACD and SIS. My own analysis shows that I like socializing with people on the trail but deep inside I use those encounters as a form of self entertainment and ego boosting. Riders I meet become means of self appreciation, the only value I bring to their humanity is the variety of random answer they may provide per given question. An android would be probably incapable of making such irrational gear choices, or foolish argumentation for certain behaviors. THis is why I like humans, because they suck, because they are stupid. On the other side of the spectrum I meet individuals of much higher skill than mine, which motivate me to get better at riding. However if people suddenly disappear from the face of the earth in some vaporizing manner, I would no give it much thought... I would probably die rather quickly myself in a matter of few weeks, considering that I never hunted or grew anything and food from supermarkets would not last very long. It is irrelevant anyways since sooner or later some asteroid or volcanic super-eruption would wipe us out. I do not think we would live to the time when sun will burn the Earth. Leaving the planet seems unlikely.

Have a great day Big Grin
  • 1 0
 It's all a reflection and life is a mystery
  • 2 2
 @RollinFoSho: at least we know it has no meaning. Let's live for the moments, for meetings in the future, some of them will mean a lot to us as they are, to some we will have to add the meaning by force of our will. But what is the free will while we travel the universe on a speck of star dust, a blue child of once a cloud of gas, spun into swirl by the last cry of a dying star... what are our deeds, if not the comets flying through the fabric of life, we try to cheat the gears of the universe, by changing trajectory of atoms who came where they are since the beginning of space and time. The freaks, the mad, the unpredictable ones, they hold the keys to embedding the legacy of our kind into interstellar realms. Nobody will ever be able to tell their next move, even ones who will achieve singularity. Nobody will ever learn the ways of the ghost in the machine. We must seek it. That is the ultimate meaningful action of the children of the stars.
  • 1 0
 @WAKIdesigns: Maybe at some point we'll get past all-is-one and truly understand the meaning of why we are here now
  • 3 0
 @RollinFoSho:Honestly I'd be happy to find a sunblock that doesn't sting my eyes.
  • 18 12
 Excellent Vernon! I wish I could describe this function of mind into words, as well as you did. The true meanng of "love thy enemy" and the terror of non-existence of apoint of arrival, of ultimate achievement, man's life as a sequence of becomings, the conscious and unconscious journey through fads. Duality used to be enlightement to me, made my fly so high but then it threw me to the chasm of relativism where devils serve the sweetest nihilistic sugar making me feel as the established member of the Order of Wisdom. I have learned about the light of singularity but elusive it is, intoxicated with truths of this universe I dwell and enjoy thoughts of world burning, watch ideologies, mantras, doctrines burning to ashes, followers cry in despair. But they rise eventually while I stay here, watching it unfold again and again. They will live their kook lives, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, while I no longer live any life...

Heeeeelp meeeeeee
  • 9 2
 U wot?
  • 19 2
 yes @WAKIdesigns , but 27.5 or 27.5 plus?
  • 6 0
 It goes both ways as the Freds see mountain bikers as baggie shorts and "hockey" jersey wearing neanderthals and/or adrenaline/stoner creeps. I have enjoyed playing both sides of the field wearing the Fred costume and making fun of the mtb kooks and vice versa. Everyone deserves to be hassled (myself included) as the world is too serious not to.
  • 6 1
 Wow a cafe with just bike riders cool .Ive never heard the term before but I live in Thailand .I,m happy just to see another guy riding a bike .We exchange nods and a smile and carry on .Some might consider spending 10 000 grand on a bike that cant go up a hill as kooky too but to each their own .Just enjoy the ride .
  • 1 1
 I'd rather spend 10k on cookies.
  • 1 1
 10000 grand would buy a lot more than a super bike. It would buy you 1000 of them.
  • 4 0
 I am a software designer, now I just want to cry. I even ride 26 and wear no lycra, which really makes me a more kooky kook Wink I live my miserable life trying to forget my work in the mountains. Now I realized that I only pretend a real human being, at least true humans will have more trails thanks to me.
  • 6 0
 I'm posting way too late for this comment to matter, but I loved the sh*t out of this article. Well written and a great reminder to always stay humble.
  • 3 0
 Man, kooks have it good in the biking world. I love that about cycling. I used to surf, and if there's any sport that's selfish and anti-kook, it's surfing. The more people in the water the worse the experience is. I love that with mountain biking it's usually the more the merrier. This is a great sport for community, rippers and kooks alike. Long live the bike.
  • 5 2
 Love when the kooks drop by the shop. No matter what, money is getting spent. Built a road bike for a kook last week, had to install a very high rise stem so his power gut didn't get in the way as much... "Beer over steer" I always say.

Love the kook.
  • 8 1
 The true meaning of KOM - Kook of the Mountain.
  • 3 0
 I live in a destination area and see lots of Kooks; both real and Imaginary.
The other day I saw one at Kokopellis trails around 9:30 am. He was wearing a colorful fox jersey about 3 sizes too small, his bulbous gut hitting the top tube. His saddle looked too low, not that I could actually see it; and I'd rather not think about it. Camelback all crooked and he was working hard and he groaned a bit as I said hi.
If you saw him at Starbucks you might think him a Kook.
I passed him going the other direction about 45 minutes out; halfway, on a moderate loop. He was the only other rider I saw that morning; because the forecast was for 104.
Careful who you call a Kook.
  • 6 0
 What a philosophical defecation...
  • 2 0
 Kooks are great because they share the same fundamental premise that nearly every rider has. What we should rally against are riders that go out of their way to abuse the privileges we work hard to have. Roadies that ride in the middle of a lane when there is a shoulder and run red lights by using the sidewalks, mounties that rip up trails or leave trash and never donate or come out for trail crew days, etc. In my opinion, those are the Kooks because they are literally destroying the thing they enjoy doing. Now if you'll excuse me, this Rapha kit isn't going to pedal itself to my local Starbucks...
  • 2 0
 Again things are all a matter of perspective. Back in the day when the local resort by me held Norba races with the likes of Rockwell, Tomac, Giove, etc. DH racing and dual slalom were always the more interesting events to watch and drew the bigger crowds. I grew up in the anodized and bar end era, even then the DH bikes were the most lust worthy. But as mentioned in the article to the casual person we are all a little weird.
  • 1 0
 I'm in SLC, and always looking for ppl that just want to ride and have fun. hit me up if you wanna shred some time
  • 2 0
 The term Kook is universal now. Even in the hip hop graftiti writer underworld. I spent the first 6 years of the 80s in Santa Cruz with Surf Nazis trying to beat me up while yelling DEVO at me. I won, but will never be a Kook because of that experience. I'd rather be shunned as a stoner DH creep even though I'm as old as everyone's parents and rarely burn and prefer atmospheric USBM.
  • 3 0
 Yep, growing up in Santa Cruz, kook was the worst thing you could call someone in the water. I don't miss the surfing fights at all. F@#$ing "locals only" shit is tired.
  • 2 0
 I am a k00k, and I wear that freak flag proudly.
I couldn't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks of me.
I also celebrate the k00ks that surround me from time to time.
These are people who aren't caught up in the idea of what is socially accepted as being "cool"..
f*ck that, the cool kids were always sheeple, always trying to be their own version of the same thing.
Don't change baby - you are beautiful!!!
  • 2 0
 "Sheeple" That's fantastic Smile
  • 5 0
 I dont know anyone who calls anyone a kook. Only kooks i know are people without helmets.
  • 3 1
 I spent a lot of years surfing in Santa Cruz, which is known for its heavy localism. With waves being a scarce resource, there is an established hierarchy at good spots that is expected to be respected and adhered to. It gives young tough guys something to strut about. It also takes much of the enjoyment out of it.

These days I get my gravity kicks at Highland, and one of the things I love about the place is the distinct lack of attitude. Mark Hayes knows that to keep the lift spinning means one thing: growing the sport. Producing the Claymore Challenge, which is about as far from kooks as you can get, didn't accomplish that. Getting new riders out on bikes does. School kids, boy scouts, families, women's programs. I love to see beginners out there. I've introduced more than a few folks to riding park there, and to see their faces, the moment they've reconnected with the feeling of riding bikes they'd not felt since being a kid. If that means they're kooks, then I'll be one, too, cuz that's why I ride. I like my kit, and my high-end bike I've cobbled together from various parts that have a tendency to be upgraded as soon as I have a few extra bucks. Though I love watching the spread of our sport more. And unlike waves, the mountains are always there. Just add some shovels and sweat...
  • 3 0
 "Valley leeches off our beaches" PPNF
Surf Nazis suck.
  • 1 0
 The other thing to remember is that without the sales volumes that "kooks" generate bicycle manufacturers would never be able to develop and produce the kind of equipment that we all love to buy. No kooks =s no carbon or factory riders. Thank God the "kooks" are out there!
  • 1 0
 Clearly, it's an evil plot, masterminded by mini mall developers, to keep our communities separate and ineffective. If it's not roadies vs mountain bikers, it's mountain bikers vs mountain bikers. Eventually I hope, we all age out of the desire to make it an "us vs them" issue, stop worrying about the other guy, and just get our ride on. As a point of reference, at least in our sport everyone gets to ride the trail. You don't have to wait two hours for that perfect wave, only to watch it get stolen by some kook...
  • 1 0
 I'm remembering the article I read about the café in a small town in New Zealand, that banned tight lycra-wearing middle-aged road bikers because apparently being dressed like that was "obscene" and not "family friendly".

Each to their own. At least those dudes understand that all good rides end with beers.
  • 1 0
 "riders with the body armor on the outside of their jerseys, their helmets tilted back upon their heads, a five inch gap of pale flesh ribboned between knee pad and hem of their too-short shorts."


I took a friends brother out who had never ridden a mountain bike in his life. We rode some easy single track and did a few little flowy things. Thats exactly what he looked like. Eerie.
  • 1 0
 "There is always someone fitter, faster, more steezy and flat-out cooler than you. Life is a spectrum and you sit somewhere on it. While you may think you are comfortably ensconced on the “rad” side of that continuum, trust me, there’s someone else who thinks your place in the universe is far, far away in Kookville."

That is... Unless you are Brandon Semunuk. Aka Steeze lord.
  • 1 0
 Good read as always, but it kind of puzzled me a little. I think it's probably because I feel I am squarely mediocre, so I'm on that line between "cool" and "kook". And I ride with riders of both significantly better and significantly worse ability. So I have never thought of other riders as either cool or kook, maybe as awesome or just getting started. And I don't mind the just-getting-started folks -- gives me someone to sell a bike to so I can get another one!

I may chuckle at someone's getup at times (like the guy on the trail wearing full hockey pads above the waist, but he was kind of cross-eyed and probably made a good decision).

But I will never understand the Lycra thing.
  • 1 0
 Gosh darn it wearing your armor over your jersey makes total sense. Then you can shed your armor and be comfortable. I fyou wear a jersey over your armor then you are also wearing a jersey under your armor ? I couldn't wear that gear next to my skin and if I did it would be gross. I'm not sure I could find a jersey big enough to fit over my gear. Really don't understand that "fashion". I'll keep wearing my gear ! and oh yeah I don't like a useless visor on my helmet either. And I use a waist pack a lot of the time too ! And I'm FD for life !

Oh geez, I guess I am a Fred. But a pretty hardcore Fred if I do say so myself.
  • 1 0
 I totally fit the kook description.
I love it.
Firstly because I'm now at that age where I give absolutely zero f**ks about what anybody thinks.
Secondly because its awesome to show up at the bike park on my 29-er and school at least 80% of the cool kids.
  • 3 2
 I happen to know a few guys who are Lykra and road helmet wearing, with bikes adorn with dork disks and saddle bags, 50 year old doctors who can kick the ass of even the most elite riders in the area.
  • 4 0
 *derring-do, kook! This article was a thoroughly enjoyable read.
  • 3 0
 "Life is a spectrum and you sit somewhere on it." Damn Felton! You gettin' all Zen in yer old age, awesome.
  • 5 0
 lets just RIDE!
  • 2 2
 I embrace the Kook. Riding in on my Fixie this morning, head to toe in Rapha I received a knowing nod from the chap next to me at the lights. He was probably on his way to sit in a Starbucks with his generic Apple device getting ready to be arty, sipping double skinny latte with a shot of fair trade vanilla. Maybe applying beard oil and preening his 'tache to within an inch of his life whilst sporting some mega glasses and full sleeves on both arms. He was a bo.....oh hang on, kook - not hipster....I 'kin hate hipsters...
  • 4 0
 “Today's hip is tomorrow's hype, kid” – George Hayduke
  • 4 0
 It takes balls to be a kook.
  • 3 0
 Pads on the outside. I dont know how you canucks get your skinny jeans over your pads, or why you even bother.
  • 2 0
 They stretch like man jeggings.
  • 3 0
 A wise Kook once said..

"Great Minds Discuss Ideas; Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People"
  • 1 1
 I read that in Ann Landers, too. Don;t get me started about her.....

And the funny thing is - most humans find other humans to be the most interesting things around.
  • 2 2
 The amount of lycra bashing going on here makes me wonder how many of you have a secret lycra stash somewhere that you like to dress up in when no one is looking. It's like hearing politicians talk about their "family values"... Bunch of closet cases.

How about we all just wear whatever the hell we like and don't worry about what everyone else wears? Or is that too much like being an adult? Are you riders, or fashionistas?
  • 2 1
 You must be new here.
  • 1 0
 " With those shoes, it is a feat of daring-do on par with scaling the Eiffel Tower after jumping into a vat of KY Jelly. " Jjajajjajjajjajjajjajja can't stop LOL toooooo Funny shizzznittttt
  • 3 0
 Kook sounds like something an angry, racist white man from the sixties would yell
  • 1 0
 good read....i too am guilty of moaning about all the breaking bumps on my trail. i enviably look upon others with greater skill than my own on these pinkbike vids. yep guilty.....
  • 3 0
 I like the Kooks. They made one of my favourite albums
  • 4 3
 I guess that makes Nino king of the Kooks then?

Next read: "Anything smaller than 160mm and steeper than 68deg., considered kook's gear"
  • 3 3
 As far as I'm concerned, you're only a kook if you're a douchebag. Additionally, contrary to the first three paragraphs of the article, road cyclist does not always equal kook.
  • 7 0
 I don't think road cyclists (I am one of them as well) are necessarily kooks or are, more precisely, any more kook-ish than anybody else. That, at some level, is what I'm trying to get at--we're all kooks in someone else's eyes. We should be embracing people rather than shunning them.
  • 1 0
 @vernonfelton: I can dig that. I ride the road as well, but I find myself shaking my head at other roadies more often than at other mountain bikers (although the gap is closing!).
  • 1 0
 LOL at the tough kids downvoting cause I talked about roadies
  • 3 1
 Lets face it, we are all kooks from the point of view of everyone looking into our world from the outside.
  • 5 2
 There are about seven cool mountain bikers. Embrace it.
  • 2 0
 Bike manufacturers don't cater to common man/ woman, this is their new market for $10k bikes!
  • 1 0
 As I remind my groms..... appreciate the kook (joey as they call it) he carries the spares and tools in this family.... great read........
  • 1 1
 A kook is just anyone that shows up at a spot and blasts it, showing disrespect, and/or misrepresenting a specific group en total-given em a bad rap.
Surfers know all about this-dealing with the kooks on vacation.
  • 2 0
 Nice profile pic of bikesnobnyc
  • 1 0
 well said. gotta get as many folks on bikes a possible and help point them in the right direction.
  • 3 1
 in touch with my inner kook. namaste.
  • 2 0
 As always says, i'm always someone else's kook
  • 3 1
 Kook=gaper?
Never heard anybody say kook before
  • 1 0
 Come to Alpental
  • 1 0
 I believe around here, we refer to these said 'kooks' as 'Larrys"
  • 2 0
 @Klainmeister: Don't forget Freds, Barneys, Herbs, Joeys, Chads, and Helgas.
  • 1 0
 @Hyakian: been there many times,never heard it there either summer or winter
  • 1 0
 @mtbakerpow: Visit lot 4, connect with the local/regulars it will become apparent
  • 1 1
 I race pro. I am influential. I wear a hip sack which is a fanny pack. Some of my peers have bought hip sacks. They think I'm cool. I'm a kook with a fanny pack.
  • 2 0
 The best is to dress like a kook and then roast people on the trails.
  • 8 7
 I just don't understand why you need to wear lycra to ride a road bike.
  • 4 3
 'cos it feels damn sexy
  • 25 2
 Do 50k in your jeans and get back to us.
  • 5 1
 Road? I need Lycra to ride my MTB! Bibs in fact.
  • 1 1
 Lycra most of the time full of bogus sponsors
  • 4 3
 @ReformedRoadie: Ive done 120 miles in my mtb shorts without a problem. Is that enough for you?
  • 1 2
 @ReformedRoadie: I go commando unless I'll be in the saddle more than 4 hours. The chamois feels like a diaper when it gets all sweaty.
  • 3 2
 @fartymarty: wherever floats your boat.
  • 1 1
 @ReformedRoadie: 50k isn't that far on a road bike. I regularly do 100k rides on a single speed with 0 lycra present
  • 3 1
 @iamamodel: Bibs and baggie shorts. Nothing else feels better.
  • 2 1
 @EricHarger: absolutely. No more snagging the Chamois on the saddle.
  • 2 4
 Dont forget mountain dorks....... Actualy exept for a handful of riders. We are all rather dorky.. The pigeon toed rodies with bib shorts showing off thiere junk ....mega dork.
  • 2 0
 GAPERS
  • 4 3
 You used the famous Bike Snob kook graphic. That is lame.
  • 2 1
 Future First Lady Melania Trump says it ain't no thing!
  • 3 0
 You just try and find a decent high-res image of a guy wearing bib shorts over his jersey that is not rights-reserved. It's harder than you think.
  • 3 0
 @vernonfelton: he's not wearing his bibs over his jersey, he's wearing his bibs over a base layer, which is correct in case you want to take a dump in the middle of a ride. Jersey will go over the top. This shows experience.
  • 1 0
 @vernonfelton: Guess if you just borrow from someone else, pretty easy!
  • 1 0
 The only thing that is truly lame is categorizing everybody.
  • 2 0
 Dumb
  • 1 0
 Kook spelled backwards is still a kook.
  • 4 3
 RIP Bowie
  • 2 1
 Indeed. Take a chance with a couple of kooks I say.....and don't pick fights with the bullies or the cads.
  • 2 3
 It's actually spelled "COCK"
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