How to sell a walmart bike!

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How to sell a walmart bike!
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Posted: Jul 12, 2009 at 2:24 Quote
I love reading the sales pitches on walmart bikes.

Here I have a prime example front the home page of "Rhino" bikes.

__________________________________________________________________-

On the African plain, the rhino knows no equal. With its unique combination of power, speed and agility, the rhino is simply unstoppable – it goes wherever it wants to go.

The same can be said of Rhino bikes. Because when it comes to durability, performance, and fun, Rhino bikes let you go where you want to go! With advanced safety and performance features and totally cool styling, Rhino is for the recreational rider seeking challenge and adventure. It’s a bike for boys of all ages, and specially designed to overcome any terrain.

With features that include rigid Y-shaped frame construction, knobby tires, and cool BMX models, Rhino offer durability and maneuverability for those looking to “push the limit” on fun and excitement.

Rhino bikes feature:

10” to 26” sizes
sturdy steel frame construction
rigid BMX forks
black and metallic paint colors and trim
BMX racing saddle and comfort hand grips
BMX style high handlebars with crossbar rise
Front and rear alloy pull brakes
quick-release seat post
knobby tires
alloy rims with steel spokes

Rhino. Where You Want to Go.


Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://www.rhinobike.com/img/sub_hero_about.jpg

It makes me laugh every time - anyone else have a good one?

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:45 Quote
Check out the huffy cyclone 26" bike on its website

"the front shock, mid range shock and steel frame add up to a mountain bike like no other"

And also argos trying to explain the different styles of riding and then saying you will need one of their full suspension bikes to handle the aggressive riding

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:50 Quote
davvi wrote:
Check out the huffy cyclone 26" bike on its website

"the front shock, mid range shock and steel frame add up to a mountain bike like no other"

And also argos trying to explain the different styles of riding and then saying you will need one of their full suspension bikes to handle the aggressive riding

Talking about huffy :

A cool silver and red frame, pegs and knobby tires will make the Axis the center of any boys attention.

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:54 Quote
I wonder if these companies can how their "high end all terrain bicycles" have this happen quite often?
3742923

3742923


Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:56 Quote

60mm travel on double crown forks Big Grin

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:58 Quote
Its not Wal-Mart but Halfords are currently selling a "limited edition" Apollo for 1810 quid...

"BRABO-375 front suspension for increased comfort
Shimano 18 speed gears for reliable gear changing
Cross-tread ATB tires give good grip off road and work well on-road
Stylish alloy brake lever blades
The Apollo Mogul mens mountain bike offers great breaking performance and front suspension for increased comfort"
http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_711907_langId_-1_categoryId_165499#dtab

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:58 Quote
cranxwork wrote:
I love reading the sales pitches on walmart bikes.

Here I have a prime example front the home page of "Rhino" bikes.

__________________________________________________________________-

On the African plain, the rhino knows no equal. With its unique combination of power, speed and agility, the rhino is simply unstoppable – it goes wherever it wants to go.

The same can be said of Rhino bikes. Because when it comes to durability, performance, and fun, Rhino bikes let you go where you want to go! With advanced safety and performance features and totally cool styling, Rhino is for the recreational rider seeking challenge and adventure. It’s a bike for boys of all ages, and specially designed to overcome any terrain.

With features that include rigid Y-shaped frame construction, knobby tires, and cool BMX models, Rhino offer durability and maneuverability for those looking to “push the limit” on fun and excitement.

Rhino bikes feature:

10” to 26” sizes
sturdy steel frame construction
rigid BMX forks
black and metallic paint colors and trim
BMX racing saddle and comfort hand grips
BMX style high handlebars with crossbar rise
Front and rear alloy pull brakes
quick-release seat post
knobby tires
alloy rims with steel spokes

Rhino. Where You Want to Go.


Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://www.rhinobike.com/img/sub_hero_about.jpg

It makes me laugh every time - anyone else have a good one?

i donno , to me that seems like a pretty serious bike hahah

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 13:59 Quote
slipknot93dh wrote:
Its not Wal-Mart but Halfords are currently selling a "limited edition" Apollo for 1810 quid...

"BRABO-375 front suspension for increased comfort
Shimano 18 speed gears for reliable gear changing
Cross-tread ATB tires give good grip off road and work well on-road
Stylish alloy brake lever blades
The Apollo Mogul mens mountain bike offers great breaking performance and front suspension for increased comfort"
http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_711907_langId_-1_categoryId_165499#dtab

yea i bet that they are great at breaking.

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:00 Quote
faceplantfeind wrote:

yea i bet that they are great at breaking.

Thats a loop-hole so your warranty doesn't count if it breaks...

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:02 Quote
slipknot93dh wrote:
faceplantfeind wrote:

yea i bet that they are great at breaking.

Thats a loop-hole so your warranty doesn't count if it breaks...

Thats completey hilarious. I cant believe even the people who made the bike didnt spot that they had written that. What a joke Apollo and Halfords is.

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:04 Quote
cranxwork wrote:
Thats completey hilarious. I cant believe even the people who made the bike didnt spot that they had written that. What a joke Apollo and Halfords is.

I was in there the other day, two bikes had the forks on backwards. And when I asked for brake pads for tektro brakes they pointed me in the direction of cars brake pads...

Apollo do have some serious pieces of XC kit though, its just you can buy it in an actual bike shop not Halfords...

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:06 Quote
slipknot93dh wrote:
cranxwork wrote:
Thats completey hilarious. I cant believe even the people who made the bike didnt spot that they had written that. What a joke Apollo and Halfords is.

I was in there the other day, two bikes had the forks on backwards. And when I asked for brake pads for tektro brakes they pointed me in the direction of cars brake pads...

when my lbs was shut i went in there ad asked for DOT fluid for my breaks and the guy tried to sell me mineral fluid stuff that said in bit letters on the side NOT FOR USE WITH DOT FLUID SYSTEMS

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:08 Quote
faceplantfeind wrote:

when my lbs was shut i went in there ad asked for DOT fluid for my breaks and the guy tried to sell me mineral fluid stuff that said in bit letters on the side NOT FOR USE WITH DOT FLUID SYSTEMS

They don't know what they are doing, they are behind the counter working on/wrecking bikes but if you look all they are actually doing is changing gears...

Posted: Jul 19, 2009 at 14:14 Quote
"26" Men's Mongoose Blackcomb All Terrain Bike:

Fully loaded and as tough as they come"

Forget about fully loaded, but if you can crack one of those frames I will give you my house, they are absolutely monstrous but bloody heavy...

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