Video: How To Be a Road Biker

Jan 27, 2014
by Matthew Dennison  


Created by: NSMB




218 Comments

  • + 248
 They forgot- Not clipping out of your peddles at red lights and doing that ridiculous balancing act so they can gain the extra 0.5 second advantage when they take off again
  • + 76
 ooo negative props- there must be some pissed off roadies on PB, hahaha, truth hurts
  • + 24
 Trackstands fah days. People get tickets for that in the cities lol and they did say using clips...close enough for a vid made by mountain bikers?
  • + 125
 Track standing is part time saver, part showing off, part fun. No different than doing tricks on a mtb. And what else is there to do at a red light?Shoot, I enjoy seeing how long I can balance on a mountain bike also.
  • + 56
 it minimize cleat wear
  • + 29
 what it does is maximizes you looking like an idiot when you tip over into the car next to you.
  • + 12
 Sometimes I do this on my dirtjumper, the rare times that I have to stop to cross the street, but I just do it for shits and giggles
  • + 40
 It attracts the attention of motorists, who then see that not every cyclist flouts red lights and stop signs.

And trackstands are essential practice for MTB, either for overtaking when the guy/s in front get balled up on an obstacle, or when riding a technical trail.
  • + 19
 Are most mountain biker really unable to track stand (or even identify it properly for that matter)? Lame. Whether or not i can track stand is my "Am i too drunk to ride home from the bars test". Can i do it, then yes i am allowed to ride home. Do i eat shit, well better that i did it standing still instead of on the roads.

And its not just good for waiting at red lights and testing your BAC. It's useful for technical spots on a climb. That is if you climb, if you do lift only i can see how you'd have no clue.
  • + 19
 Trackstanding is a useful skill for road AND mtb, and it's fun. Plus my road pedals (not peddles) are one-sided, so clipping back in can be a PITA if I have to stop and unclip at every... single... light...

Learning to trackstand made me much better at tech climbs and low speed pick-your-way-through rock gardens. Plus if you ever want to do anything remotely trials-like that one of the first things you have to figure out.
  • + 6
 I never said it wasn't a useful skill in MTB, I can do it and find it very useful, I was pointing out that they missed it in the video. And sorry to the grammar police
  • + 5
 @treesmoker (1 hours ago)
"And what else is there to do at a red light?"
Watching girls?
  • + 6
 Grammar police must be filtering over from reddit. Love it.
  • + 33
 Anyone find that their ability to track stand usually last about 3 seconds less than the red light?
  • + 9
 I do trackstands at the lights and I don't even have a road bike. Am I a bad person now?
  • + 7
 I don't know you stay virgin to minimize clit wear.
  • - 7
flag Protour (Jan 27, 2014 at 22:38) (Below Threshold)
 No just a roadie wanna be or a Fred or something like that. I guess it depends on how you are dressed.
  • + 1
 what does the jargon "Watts" mean? haha thats my last name so I'm curious.
  • + 6
 watts: torque x cadence? I don't want to look it up but as a roadie it gets pretty bad how we're so obsessed with watts,TSS,FTP and MAP, sometimes Strava but alot of racers opt out of using it for good reasons, I'm shifting away from it as I don't care about KOMs and chasing KOMs all day long isn't exactly a solid training plan... as for the track stand, we just get sick of clipping in and out every 10 minutes, with mtb pedals especially spd you can flick your feet in super easily (I love my cross bike for that), with road pedals when you have them set at super high torque so you don't yank out of them they tend to require quite a bit more fumbling around, as for the cleat wear it's funny actually, I clip out with my left foot and I go through left cleats twice sometimes three times as fast as right cleats, I don't avoid clipping out for cleat wear, cleats are 10$ every few months, not a big deal.... although when you get new expensive shoes you can be worried about scratching them, that goes away after a few rides because they get scratched anyways no matter what... and yes I'm aware that sounded incredibly stupid, because well... it is, it's like when people freak out about scratching their TLD lids, what did you think would happen?
  • - 7
flag Bikemo (Jan 28, 2014 at 3:33) (Below Threshold)
 Props to everyone taking the piss out of philip9175.
  • + 2
 @mxer83 watts is the reading from a power meter, either on your bike or an indoor trainer (as finnrambo says, it's torque * rpm). A lot of roadies get really into it because it's a good way to quantify your effort level when training. When the power meters first came to market a few years ago keeping track of your wattage and talking about it with every motherf*cker at the coffee shop became all the rage, and even though power meters are pricey all the serious riders HAD to have one (sarcasm). More recently it's been moving into xc mtb and even enduro (Jared Graves trained with a power meter). Awesome training tool, but the joke is that roadies are known for obsessing/bragging over their wattage.
  • - 33
flag gavlaa (Jan 28, 2014 at 4:28) (Below Threshold)
 Neg prop me as much as you want- THIS VIDEO IS SH*T. I thought the 'How to be an MTBer' video was good because they were obviously taking the piss out of themselves. Taking the piss out of another group is something entirely different and makes them seem like a bunch of dicks. All it does is widen the void between MTB and road.
This video was only made off the back of the success of the first film on the understanding that it would get a shed load of hits no matter what. Poor show.
  • - 9
flag Lmackall6 (Jan 28, 2014 at 7:04) (Below Threshold)
 Agreed
  • + 2
 Well they should stick to jeybike.com then lol they aint got no bidness over here! Smile
  • + 11
 Gavlaa, you are welcome to take this oppurtunity to jog on. The video is clearly made in jest. Also, There is only a mtb/road divide if you want there to be, fact is most roadies ride xc and lots of mountain bikers ride road.
  • + 7
 @gavlaa, i thought this vid was funny because i also ride road (more in the commuter category with a choice of pothole as my nemesis), and its likely that the makers of this video also ride some form of road so they are 'taking the piss' out of themselves again. But if you are still butt hurt i recommend step 8, "getting used to the soothing feeling of chammy butter"
  • + 4
 Ironic that one of the baddest dudes around ( Jared Graves ) rides all kinds of bikes from bmx to DH. A lot of roadies are annoying and a lot of MTBikers are annoying. A lot of people are annoying for that matter. I can have fun riding any bike. I like the how to be a MTBiker one too. Commuting dousing count as roadie. If you push your bikes uphill, shuttle everything and drive your truck 3 blocks to get to work in the summer your not a biker your a poser. I don't hear anyone bagging the claw or the top downhillers for spandexing up an training on their road bike.
  • + 2
 A track stand is one thing. Practicing a track stand, at a light, when you outright suck at it is hilarious. Practicing anything is good and that's how one learns, but as long as one is going to put on a show of flopping the bars back and forth with a whole shitload of body english while inching forward (so not technically standing still) I am free to laugh and point.

And doing it on your carbon roadie while all covered in lycra just ups the hilarity.

Add in a gut....

It just keeps getting better.
  • + 0
 I trackstand on my fixie. Is this a bad thing?
  • + 0
 YES! trackstand on a mtb is ok, on a fixie .. it's very annoying !
  • + 1
 When was the last time you saw a roadie having fun? I am a bit of a commuter/fred and I love carving on a road bike though I hate drop bars. Bull horns all the way.
  • + 87
 Has anyone noticed that when your riding a mountain bike on the road that other people on mtbs nod/wave/smile to you but all the guys on road bikes either ignore you or give you a strange look. Seriously, I think that I've only ever once had a roadie acknowledge my existence when passing on the street.
  • + 13
 Yep, happens plenty to me...
  • + 24
 roadies..LOL
  • + 44
 Sometimes I ride my enduro around town for kicks and giggles. I like to pedal as hard as I possibly can to catch up to a roadie, but ease up to just maintain my speed just prior to passing them. I make sure to look as though I'm putting in almost zero effort just before I fly past them.
  • + 9
 I used to have a bmx with a stem bolt that would loosen, so I'd just flip the bars down and motor past them lol
  • + 5
 they wont even look at me when i pass them. road biking is huge in my town to
  • + 3
 So I'm not the only one!
  • + 6
 Pretty sure its just what mtb's do when they are near a roadie!
  • + 7
 We don't have much roadies here But we have the full-xt-from-10-years-ago-cyclotourer-wannabe-with-panniers-size-of-a-semi
  • + 2
 Oh and disc brakes suck. V-brakes are awesome. Especially xt v-brakes
  • + 13
 so you guys are those annoying dudes that pass me when I'm on a recovery day! I'm just joking about that for the record, a lot of people on here lack a sense of humour... I don't mean to ignore anyone, I just ride so often on the same roads that I'm on autopilot and have no clue what's going on around me besides the stretch of tarmac five feet in front of me, I tend to give strange looks to some riders but they're generally riders on 15 grand tour de france winning bikes sitting completely upright, if I give you a strange look it's generally because you well... look strange, if I'm recovering I'll probably talk to you if I'm still in thinking mode, if I'm in the middle of an effort then probably not, it's not that I'm a dick or anything, it's that I'm staring at my computer waiting until I can slow back down, and for the guys that outsprint roadies on mtb... oh man, I love doing that! the feeling of passing a guy on a Pinarello/Colnago when you're on a commencal with a 888 is amazing, especially when you hold the gap for a long time, so there you go! an explanation of why roadies are weird as hell
  • + 4
 I like the look on there faces when you over take them on nobbly tyres
  • + 7
 Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *hello* vrrrrr
  • + 5
 Roadies only wave at other roadies that are following the rules of the veloluminati. (www.velominati.com/the-rules) look it up. I've taken the practice of vigorously waving and yelling "hello" at Roadies until they choose to acknowledge me.
  • + 4
 Love coming out the woods, caked in mud and passing roadies on the way to the next bit.
  • + 4
 With a cheery, effortless "morning!" of course.
  • + 2
 And I love the "You're gonna pedal THAT" look when a mate and me are planning a offroad climb and they are taking the long way round.
  • + 1
 additional step: whine about road conditions, every granfondo or other non race event I ride always has one guy whining about road conditions hurting his carbon clinchers (carbon clinchers are also a focal point of humour for racers, for a few good reasons)
  • + 0
 @panaphonic. I agree 100%, I work with a guy that's always trying to tell me how technical it is to ride on the road, and mountain bikers are just a bunch of out of control hippies(well he has seen me ride....). technical? road riding? really? my 4 and 5 year old nephews ride on the road to school everyday. how hard could it be?! please, roadies, get over yourselves, its not that cool.
  • + 2
 Roadies are a special breed. Most are normal or just mtn bikers out for a road rip on their road bike, but there really seems to be so many that are socially challenged twats. Again, not all, but a much greater percentage engaged in that sport it would appear than any other that comes to the top of my mind.

Mountain biking: the social aspect goes hand in hand with the sport.
  • + 1
 road is tech if you're fast... if you can ride like the guy in the Mavic video then it's techy, but if you're not really using the shoulder of the tire then you wouldn't know the control needed to keep it from sliding out, there's a technique to cornering that isn't seen, you really have to weight the tires to keep them holding traction and then after that you have to be able to do that when riding in a group and not knowing what's next, alot of races aren't multi lap and not seeing the exit of a corner really isn't fun... as for the anti social guys I can't tell you what's up with them, alot of them are training for granfondos and think they're hot shite because they can finish them... they also like to call them "races", I wish we had less weird people in road but that's how it is
  • + 2
 Roadies come up the hill two wide in front of my house on $20 000 pinarellos and I pull out fresh from my driveway and draft them to the top. Then I overtake them at the top while they coast down, pull onto the footpath hit a small kicker between two trees then take a small 3foot drop next to the road and run the red light while they come to a stop. Best way to start the day.
  • + 25
 You missed pissing all over your tri bike I believe. That's as essential as your vo2 max...
  • + 7
 Except roadies make fun of triathletes and don't consider them road bikers at all.. Speaking of which, that should have been in the vid if it wasn't.
  • + 5
 Yeah tria*sholes aren't real roadies. Roadies hate them! Hell I'm not even a real roadie (just a commuter) and I hate them. Riding around town on their $5k+ bikes and can't hold a straight line... smh
  • + 1
 Dont roadies piss on their bikes too? I mean, where else is there to go during a 5 hour stage race?
  • + 5
 @mnorris122 - They actually stop and piss on the side of the road.
  • + 2
 not always, once you get the technique down you can go off the side without stopping, personally it's a bad and disgusting idea though... as for triathletes.... I try to not judge them but when somebody yells at you for passing too close when you're riding three feet away from them it's hard not to, btw don't corner or stand up in your aerobars, why would you even try?
  • + 4
 A friend of mine used to race long road races and he said the men's pack could always smell when they were catching up to the women's bunch (who started before the men so that they would finish closer together and presentation could be at the same time). His mechanic said the rear stays of the womens bike were covered in yellow crystals.

I'm so glad I'm male.
  • + 1
 ew... poor mechanics!
  • + 3
 You know how mountain bikers look down on roadies because of their lack of technical skill? Roadies feel the same way about triathletes.
  • + 19
 I used to ride road, but no more. It scares me too much. The penalty for crashing on a highway full of cars is just too high....
  • + 46
 I never got hit by a car riding singeltrack.
  • + 23
 I have :/
  • + 5
 Tylerthegiant did you had a go pro when it happened?
  • + 2
 Haha I was joking. Some trails in my area cross fireroads.
  • + 3
 Shit the risk of going that fast on pavement in general is all bad. I took two good spills before I got rid of mine and let me tell you road rash from go 40-50 mph is the worst ever. Broken bones wasn't as shitty as that.
  • + 0
 I still love my cross bike and do the occasional race, but the pavement doesn't really see me much anymore. CX for the win!
  • + 1
 Tyler please explain the I have
  • + 15
 You hit the bare essentials. However, you missed some important elements of road biking:

Half wheel the shit out of your ride-mates because you are an idiot

Half wheel the shit out of your ride-mates to crack them mentally

Prentend you aren't really trying hard on rides when you are actually pinned.

Phrase: "you though that was hard? that was like high zone 2 for me"

Phrase: "dude, I was like zone 5 the whole time, that shit was hard"

Phrase: "so pro"

Vocabulary: fatty master

Phrase: "I was gonna win the sprint but some fred hooked me"

Phrase: "on the rivet"

Vocabulary: "12k Dream"

Phrase: "I don't do group rides"
  • + 2
 These are gold haha

Relevant:
www.velominati.com/the-rules
  • + 1
 All cyclists must know and obey the rules. I have always loved reading those, they put a smile on my face everytime.
  • + 2
 My favorite is #5. H.T.F.U!!!
  • + 2
 I regularly break a few of those. These rules guys are new to the game. Real hard asses use frame pumps. Co2 cartridges are for wankers. Using a camelback makes you hard because you can do a 6hr ride in 6hrs not 6.5 cuz you have to stop for water all the damed time.
  • + 1
 haha erik I too rock a frame pump. I just think it's hilarious how they're all written
  • + 1
 I break a lot of the rules, too: Frame pump, seat bag (I hate having my jersey pockets crammed full of crap), shaving, eyewear, Facial hair (they have a facial hair rule?!). Some of the rules are absolutely mandatory: 5, 9, 10, 26, 40, 41, 51, 63, 65, 67 and especially 83. (Anytime I see a photo of a bike and the chain isn't on the big ring I cringe.)
  • + 19
 Di2 on a SRAM shifter! My god!
  • + 7
 The stupid is strong with that comment.....
  • + 18
 Never go full retard
  • + 8
 Cyclocross bikes share a lot of similarities to road bikes, but the sport itself is pretty far different than road biking, and a lot of the top level guys do just as much mountain biking. They should make one of these videos for CX
  • + 1
 I'll volunteer to be in it! cyclocross and road are very similar yet different skill sets, riding foot out but in the saddle or grabbing a post to doorhinge a corner are two very strange feelings at first
  • + 9
 They forgot one: Try to convince all your mountain biker friends that road biking is fun. When they say "No, it's not", you tell it's a diferent kind of fun.
  • + 9
 I have one these numb nuts as a neighbor. He says to me did you ride today? Yea.... How many miles? I shut the garage door and went in the house.
  • + 7
 This cracks me up. There is one for how to be a mountain biker too. It is also hilarious. There is always a bit of truth in those videos. Smile But to get all pissed? Naw. I am both a mtb and a roadie..and a cyclocross racer and a fat biker.......neither sport is superior over the other. Just do what you love...ride a bike!
  • + 3
 Thanks man! You hit the nail on the head. Bikes is bikes is bikes is bikes. Keep it real, y'all.
  • + 6
 all you gotta do is be an obnoxious dick then think you're better than mtb'ers hahahahahhahaha NO




re post as someone got butthurt and deleted my comment, don't deny my freedom of speech or i will sue you Wink
  • + 6
 Wow someone deleted my coment to! Well I feel obligated to repeat :

The gluten joke was funny ( because it's so true). And 2:25, I though this was a video about roadies not mountain bikers?
  • - 2
 'Murica
  • + 2
 HEY mayn maybe yous and I could hang out and drink some moonshine and barbecue. Now I ain't sayin we gonna do nuthin illegal now we just gon drink some bud lite and have some good times, maybe watch some nascar
  • + 0
 love abit of nascar, you'll be out cold after some of my screaming nazi shots

www.pinkbike.com/photo/10542392
  • + 7
 Roadies think that they are "athletes" whereas trail riders are "hooligans".
  • + 1
 and downhillers are, nutcases, badass's, meatheads, crazy, gnarly, etc etc
  • + 2
 @elanto those look lethal haha

@thrasher2 I think most of the "master race" mentality comes with the fact that road riding is far more widespread and known about. I'm sure football players would see themselves as more of an athlete as well.
  • + 1
 sure as hell are, only just allowed to sell them under licensing terms hahaha
  • + 4
 It wasn't deleted, it's down in the "below threshold" comment score section... aka people negged the shit out of you
  • + 3
 Too many 14 year olds on pinkbike
  • + 2
 Your username amuses me hahaha
  • + 4
 Love the video as much as the next person, but all of you making fun of road riding when you obviously know nothing about it are just obnoxious. Just because you ride MTB does not mean you have to hate people who enjoy riding road. For some reason people on this site just love to hate on any kind of riding that isn't freeride or DH, and most of you probably can't ride anything worth a shit to begin with. Respect all disciplines and the cycling world in general will be a better place.
  • + 4
 Agreed! No matter how much you love to do X, that's never a reason to hate on Y. Especially if both X AND Y involve a bike!

The video was funny though. As funny as the one about "How to be a mountainbiker" www.pinkbike.com/news/Video-How-to-be-a-Mountain-Biker-2013.html which, for some reason is quite similar
  • + 9
 Have you guys seen how to be a mountain biker? He takes the piss out of his own sport. These are just designed to be funny videos playing on stereotypes.
  • + 3
 Sowerby, I loved the video, thought it was hilarious. I have no problem with that. Its these people that comment on the video spreading hate on a discipline just because they think its the cool thing to do that I have a problem with. When comments are made out of fun, I understand. But many of these are simply hating on road biking with no other motive than to insult the sport.
  • + 8
 Epic, nice work guys, looking forward to the next one.
  • + 3
 "How to be a dog walker!" That could be interesting right?
  • + 4
 How to be an emo hipster fixie rider
  • + 2
 That would be titled "how to be a douche bag" lol
  • + 1
 Coffee shop poser was close to a hipster but, yeah they did miss the hipster fixie rider.
  • + 4
 I used to work in a bikeshop and the most annoying thing with roadies (and some MTBers) is that like 80% of them are overweight middle aged men, who then ask no questions about the spec or performance of a bike, just its weight.... and then when you tell them that maybe they should worry about losing the weight off their fat arse rather than on the bike they have the cheek to complain about me. dicks.
  • + 6
 I'm an overweight (almost middle aged) guy and I approve of this comment.
  • + 4
 Overweight middle-aged men wanting light bikes - aahhh, that's an LBS gold mine right there. Encourage them.
  • + 4
 I like to accidentally leave strava running while I'm driving home. If you KOM a popular roadie segment the rash of emails and aggro messages is almost immediate. I'm a sh*t for this. But in the words of bubbles "chill the f*ck out."
  • + 2
 I did this by accident once and you are bang on, the emails were instant!!
  • + 6
 nope i don't have what it takes to be a roadie. I am counted out as soon as it comes to having spandex on to tight.
  • + 3
 They forgot the bit about getting all super defense on every comments section of anything road bike related!!!
Honestly you'd have thought roadies were persecuted more than Jesus or the Jews the way they kick off in the comments every time road cycling is mentioned somewhere.
If you're gonna dress up in entirely Lycra and shave yourselfs at least get a sense of humour! ;D
  • + 3
 So funny! Get good life insurance to help ease the pain of your loved ones after paramedics remove you from someone's grill because they were txting or you decides to ride 2x2.
  • + 1
 You mean grille? Smile
  • + 3
 You're correct unless it's a food truck. Headline- Foodie Kills Roadie
  • + 4
 Add: "Rage loudly and often about rights for cyclists and brag about how bike friendly your city is, but then hate on building trails".

(Posted from Portland, OR)
  • + 1
 They forgot the BIG ONE...N+1=divorce as pointed out by my lovely wife. Also, when bragging about how much riding you did or when discussing distances...regardless of what country you live, you should always discuss distance in Kilometers!
  • + 1
 A few significant "roady" additions:
1. Some mention of the value and proper technique for drafting.
2. Need to mention that the added benefit of shaving your legs makes you look (and feel) more buff and sexy! ie; psychological advantage!
3. Obsession with aerodynamics from skin suits, to bars, tubes spokes, wheels, and position.
4. Roadies NEVER wave to MTBikers, or Freds.
5. Mirrors or Reflectors of any kind are strictly prohibited.
6. The real Roady Snob has a vintage Road bike with Reynolds 531, Columbus or Titainium tubing, Toe Clips, Brooks leather saddle, old style Campy Groupo and a wool cycling kit.
7. In addition to being able to balance a red lights, you also must perfect the technique of clearing your sinus's without a kleenex or fingers, and do it without sliming the rider behind you!
8. You must also have the significant dialogue from the movie Breaking Away memorized.
9. Roady's only ride in streets like "real" vehicles. Never use crosswalks, Bike paths, or park in "bicycle parking" spaces.
10.Real Roady's have ridden up every peak in their city, and would rather keel over and die, than be caught walking up a hill!
  • + 5
 There is no manly way to eat a banana!
  • + 1
 Smoothie with lots of raw eggs?
  • + 1
 A few significant "roady" additions:
1. Some mention of the value and proper technique for drafting.
2. Need to mention that the added benefit of shaving your legs makes you look (and feel) more buff and sexy! ie; psychological advantage!
3. Obsession with aerodynamics from skin suits, to bars, tubes spokes, wheels, and position.
4. Roadies NEVER wave to MTBikers, or Freds.
5. Mirrors or Reflectors of any kind are strictly prohibited.
6. The real Roady Snob has a vintage Road bike with Reynolds 531, Columbus or Titainium tubing, Toe Clips, Brooks leather saddle, old style Campy Groupo and a wool cycling kit.
7. In addition to being able to balance a red lights, you also must perfect the technique of clearing your sinus's without a kleenex or fingers, and do it without sliming the rider behind you!
8. You must also have the significant dialogue from the movie Breaking Away memorized.
9. Roady's only ride in streets like "real" vehicles. Never use crosswalks, Bike paths, or park in "bicycle parking" spaces.
10.Real Roady's have ridden up every peak in their city, and would rather keel over and die, than be caught walking up a hill!
  • + 3
 Should have said "Choose your favorite local bike shop, and completely alienate them with snide comments"

yes, I work at a shop.
  • + 5
 Shaved Morgan. We never needed to see that
  • + 1
 -It seems the more expensive stuff they have, the more they think they're entitled to discounts at the bike shop.
-Have absolutely no shame with walking around in full lycra kit anywhere.
-Play the blame game when not riding as good as fellow riders ie "sun in my eyes, headwind, my tires are low on air, I forgot to clean my chain, I just rode 100 miles yesterday"
  • + 1
 had a customer come in the other day on a 5000$ (estimating) trek madone, barefoot because his road shoes weren't comfortable to walk in, and ask for a discount on a gatorskin tire, (his old tire was shredded) because he could "get it cheaper on the internet". When i told him no (because he was already giving me attitude, and i knew he could more than afford it) he walked out saying "well let it collect dust then"

It's not like I'm getting rich on the 10-15$ difference in price that is probably going to made up in shipping and wait time. Have fun walking home barfoot bro.
  • + 2
 Ha, ouch. I don't see a problem with asking for a discount, IF asked the right way. But most of the time, it's with attitude and/or condescending. The ole"cheaper on the internet" is another good line. Lacking social skills and social etiquette is another good roadie stereotype.
  • + 1
 Working in a bike shop that is predominately roadie orientated…. They sit around and talk so much smack

Example: "Oh my god John, you did so well today, and you haven't even shaved"
  • + 5
 Strava or it didn't happen
  • + 4
 Love these videos, but I think the mountain bike one was funnier
  • + 1
 Classic line step 16 "oh yeah I'm gonna KOM" while banging something or someone f*ckin cracked me up. Geez there's quite a few comments here. Do you all hate roadies that much?
  • + 3
 If there's cycling infrastructure, don't use it - ride on the road right next to it. A favourite where I'm from.
  • + 1
 Where's the "does this come in carbon?" or "how many grams is this?" those are the go to lines for the dork in my shop! Classic! got to love it, I'm going to go blow up my road bike now... WATTS!
  • + 4
 Morgan Taylor shaves. Save that shhh for Halloween; scary stuff.
  • + 1
 They forgot be a dick to everyone else on the road and act like you own the whole road and learn how to take up the whole road whilst in a group so that nobody else can get past
  • + 3
 I tell longtime roadie friends and customers that if trees start texting then maybe I'd consider riding pavement.
  • + 1
 actually here in ontario we have a cell tower disguised as a real tree so........
  • + 2
 You forgot a Fixie. Helps to perfect your circular cadence performance...AND ITS FREAKIN COOL!!!
  • + 4
 What's a road bike?
  • + 2
 What's a fondo?
  • + 1
 So funny, all my mtb friends constantly say how mountain bikers are the nicest, most generous people you'll meet on a bike....not exactly representing on this comment board.
  • + 2
 You missed a big one: When on a ride with your shop buddies and another shop's ride passes, flip em off.
  • + 3
 Step 1.4130: Avoid triple cranksets, double or nothing.
  • + 8
 But more importantly, look down condescendingly at any rider who does ride a triple, and and treat them as if they are lesser human beings.
  • + 1
 Oh, and it has to be a standard double. None of that 'compact' garbage!
  • + 1
 That's so true. And now half those guys run compact cranks.
  • + 3
 I shave my nuts...Does that count?
  • + 6
 I have mine shaved properly, at a barber shop.
  • + 3
 they forgot sitting on the frame every chance you get
  • + 2
 Step following: Cut off your balls. It saves weight and everybody does that.
  • + 2
 Make sure to ride in the middle of the road to piss off all motorist and show everyone how big of a DICK roadies really are.
  • + 1
 Few have to ride in the middle to make sure no car passes, they can't share the road and let anyone pass. But when all the cars are stopped at lights, they ride in between them. Competitive lifestyle.
  • + 1
 When one of your riding buddies either a) gets some food out to eat or b) seems to be struggling then you must attack.
  • + 1
 make sure to rip the hell out of anyone that has a compact chainset no matter how hilly the area is they live in...
  • + 1
 The how to be a "Mountain Biker" video was better. The trail dog names were a hoot among many other things.
  • + 1
 Wait, so you're saying this guy is doing it wrong?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZmJtYaUTa0
  • + 1
 What is going on with that Trek at the start.....Saddle bag, Positive stem.....fag bike
  • + 1
 Im waiting for the 26er road bike revolution. And when are these guys gunna do "how to be an emo hipster fixie rider?"
  • + 1
 so much better then " how to be a mountain biker" I like all the enemies the roadies have haha, that was awesome!!
  • + 2
 Buy a 29er and call yourself a mountain biker.
  • + 2
 Did any of you guys even ride a road bike? By the way i'm a mountainbiker.
  • + 1
 Get a 3rd mortgage on your house and purchase the newest sports wagon with 5 roof-mounted bicycle racks.
  • + 1
 You forgot openly critical of shuttling and the skill required to ride World Cup Downhill
  • + 2
 not dope!
  • + 2
 HEY! get a car! awesome.
  • + 1
 headset spaces....get those handle bars higher!
  • + 1
 In jargon to learn, they should've added aero, aero and aero.
  • + 1
 I love these so much. Keep 'em coming! How to be a Dirt Biker up next?
  • + 1
 I have the coffee snobbery down to a science.
  • + 2
 Some mtbers are like that with weed.
  • + 1
 Hahahahahaha so freaking funny Big Grin
  • + 1
 Crunching gears when going up a hill
  • + 1
 you forgot that they piss while riding...saves extra seconds Smile
  • + 1
 I havnt cringed so hard in my life....
  • + 1
 98% applies to mtb'ers too...
  • + 0
 Road bikes are super cool! just kidding, they're super GHEY....
  • + 0
 You got this all wrong where's the gay porn?
  • + 5
 There was a live scene at 2:24! You didn't think that was a girl did you? Here comes the roadie hate wave...
  • + 1
 lmfao!!!!!
  • + 1
 Be a real jerk
  • + 1
 roadrage =D
  • + 1
 Yea, buy a car guys!
  • + 0
 this is proper video!! not that bike rap shizzzzle
  • + 0
 ahh ah great once more!!! you... bikers... are cool!!!
  • + 0
 Lycras are gay! There I said what you guys are thinking and afraid to say!
  • + 1
 hahahah yes step 9!!
  • + 0
 Awesome
  • - 1
 Lol no true cyclist would use products from BSN... filled with shit
  • - 3
 is it ok to wear normal shorts while on a road bike?
  • + 4
 most definitely not!
  • + 2
 I do whenever I'm not competing to add to the embarrassment of getting smoked by someone on a 1988 cannondale Smile
  • + 1
 Only if you have your rapha merino wool padded tights underneath.
  • - 3
 Never trust a roadie. They'll steal your sh!t.
  • - 2
 I Like "Fred" lol
  • - 3
 2:24 that would never happen to a road biker! And the gluten joke haha I'm dying
  • - 3
 all you gotta do is be an obnoxious dick and think you're better than mtb'ers hahahahahahhaha NO
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