haha its funny when the girlfreind and I moved in together one of the requirements was I had to have a room for all my bikes,, good thing too because I got her into and she now has too
other steps: -buy a moto and wonder if motorcross riders like mountain biking as much as we like motorcross -drive a Tacoma, and attach a Northshore rack to it despite having an entire bed open to use -rail ruts, nail sluts -say "send it" a lot
Here's a few more of the top of my head: 1) Get used rolling ankles and smashing your balls on your top tube. It may hurt for a bit, but it's a small price to pay to train for the FMB tour. 2) Get a pinkbike account and be sure to troll the shit out of it. 3) Remember big names like Semenuk, Pilgrim, and Zink and make sure you know all the latest tricks that they are doing. 4) Hashtag "#mountainbiking" on all your mountain bike instragram shots so Mark Matthews will like them. 5) Finally, lower your standards for girls you would bang just because they know how to ride a bike. "Rachel Atherton is so hot."
@mmatthews, putting all teasing aside, you are an amazing rider and am sure you inspire hundreds if not thousands of kids with your instagram likes. Hope you heel up soon and have a great recovery from that "gnarly gap tweak to scrub rock bonk bail" at rampage!
Really dirtworks911 - '5) Finally, lower your standards for girls you would bang just because they know how to ride a bike. "Rachel Atherton is so hot."' - you're a dick and probably ugly and fat
'2) Get a pinkbike account and be sure to troll the shit out of it.' - Just did, got that right.
holy shit I knew something was up when @markymath kept liking my bike photos. Posted a photo today from my ride on Instagram and didn't hashtag #mountainbiking ... rookie mistake!
My girlfriend our roommate and I all ride. There are nine bikes in our two bedroom apartment. The newest vehicle any of us own in a '99 Ford ranger, so I think we are covered on the car to bike front... this video is my life
My.. Uh.. Cats name is Maxxis. Oh one more thing.. We have weird rituals such as " drop your new helmet to get the first crash out of the way" and never say "one more run"
yeah I do the drop thing but with my friends it's for a new bike. and never calling last run originated from skiing I think but I'm pretty diehard about that one! Always 'a couple more.'
About the drop helmet thing, should I do that? It didn't help Semenuk last year. And I thought about doing it but I didnt want to scratch my helmet, and then I broke my leg.
My friends an I have developed code talk so that when it's time to leave we call "first run" so as to fool bad luck but we really know that it means last run.
It's a known biker curse to proclaim "let's go for one last run". I know this because every time I've said it ,I've bought the farm. Another biker superstition of mine is to always do a "Good luck fist bump" before ripping down the mountain.
The only part that really made me squirm was "Your amateur sports photographer friend will take all the shots. He'll make a cliche 3 minute "Edit". Make sure you get a shot of you putting on goggles. Follow cam shots and LOTS of nature shots". Described me to a tee.
a few other minor rules: if you want to be cool, you are forbidden from wearing gloves or elbow protection, nor can your ears be untucked and outside of your oversize hat. Select your flamboyant TLD jersey wisely.
coffee aficionados are more hipster fixies. so true about the go pro though.
Few other minor rules....to be a fast DH racer, you must wear a matching brightly colored pj set from TLD. There must be atleast 2 different bright colors.
Dont bring any spare parts with you to the mountain
If your not driving a Subaru, Toyota pick up, or beat to shit civic, your an outcast in the parking lot.
Talk shit about everyone else riding in the lift line, then hide from everyone at the top or go on a different trail. Then at the bottom, show up last and ask everyone why they were so SLOW!
Dont worry cuban-b, i drive 2 Subaru's. Sorry about my horribly hacked together paragraph...i had it neatly laid out and spaced....PB appearently did not like it....:?
Trail dog, check. Too many overly expensive (carbon) bikes blinged out with carbon bits, check. Flannels, too many to count, check. Tacoma, check. Stickers and rack on Tacoma, check. Beer/coffee snob, check. Color coordinated bike gear, check. Bike brand/themed t shirts, check. Shit... I AM this video.
Soooo funny! I hate to say I'm almost all of these. No flannel and I drive a new truck. (Not a Tacoma) It did have stickers on it before it had plates though haha. My gf needs to see this, just so she knows I'm not the only one.
Ha ha. Check! I even wanted the house we moved into because it had a room under the garage. My wife said, " So this is the new hobby/exercise/whatever room then?" "No dear, this is the bike room." Ha ha. Classic!
Matt, your a cool guy. And you make good shit, but since you asked for suggestions I'd like to see something about "learning to do bike maintenance." Like putting on directional tires wrong and buying the wrong sizes/spaced components lol that stuff blows but we all gotta learn..
Dang it! I don't MEAN to do all those things... but I really do... *cry*... (except for the PLAID part, although Sombria has some pretty sweet PLAID for ladies).
The video is awesome but they forgot something about how to be a PRO rider. You have to wear a cap and mirrored sunglasses and have on all body a lot of tattoos like this video www.pinkbike.com/video/335423 ....
The "I f*cking Hate This" crew is a riot! I love all their videos......even non-MTB videos! But the trifecta of videos of "I'm Faster than You" and "I Only Ride Park" and now " How To Be A Mountain Biker" are the best MTB videos online! Can't wait for their next one!
couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me, today I pedal ripped my shin open significantly riding sans shin guards...and although I wasn't wearing plaid I fear it was of a flannel construction....awe geeez
OMG this is spot on, I even have the same car. This is the same guy that did the video "I'm faster than you",this is some funny shit ,keep up the good work. looking forward to seeing more of your videos.
Just because they have an exit strategy doesn't necessarily mean they're trying to act it out, it can be a contingency plan so they can think through ahead of time what they would do if people ever stopped buying 29ers instead of scrambling after the fact. I.e. normal planning that smart businesses do
You didnt watch the video did you? or listen to what Giants global senior product marketing manager just told us. his opening statement is also worth a listen.
Baaaaaahaaaaaaa Sooooooo Gooooood peeps! You did forget to talk about random arguments on MTB sites and brainless comments and insults to unknown people around the world on the web!
hey mattdennison i am even more happy now finished work me and the wife off to ABERDEEN don't go back to work till tuesday no trails till next weekend but hey they will still be there.
This is awesome! I think I'm guilty of everything, including driving a 500 quid van with a 3 grand bike in the back, but that just means I've got my priorities right! Haha
it came to a point where I had to choose between my bike and girlfriend....obviously my BIKE is my mistress...I ended up having a mistress and girlfriend....victory!!!!!!
Yes, very funny but I'm wondering if the LGBT community might take offense to the "tranny" bit, I noticed you never used the "dyke" reference, you'd get sued and/or lynched!
356 Comments
That's just terrible. That's like the number one word. Nice rest of vid though!
-buy a moto and wonder if motorcross riders like mountain biking as much as we like motorcross
-drive a Tacoma, and attach a Northshore rack to it despite having an entire bed open to use
-rail ruts, nail sluts
-say "send it" a lot
1) Get used rolling ankles and smashing your balls on your top tube. It may hurt for a bit, but it's a small price to pay to train for the FMB tour.
2) Get a pinkbike account and be sure to troll the shit out of it.
3) Remember big names like Semenuk, Pilgrim, and Zink and make sure you know all the latest tricks that they are doing.
4) Hashtag "#mountainbiking" on all your mountain bike instragram shots so Mark Matthews will like them.
5) Finally, lower your standards for girls you would bang just because they know how to ride a bike. "Rachel Atherton is so hot."
Give this man the Pinkbike Funniest Comment of the Year Award™
www.pinkbike.com/photo/515274
Missing the cliché opening of a garage door exposing the riders silhouette then Q slo-mo walk with his rig... Oh don't forget the dubstep...
'2) Get a pinkbike account and be sure to troll the shit out of it.' - Just did, got that right.
...Damnit....
Another biker superstition of mine is to always do a "Good luck fist bump" before ripping down the mountain.
coffee aficionados are more hipster fixies. so true about the go pro though.
Sorry about my horribly hacked together paragraph...i had it neatly laid out and spaced....PB appearently did not like it....:?
That was my first thought too, ha!
Ha ha. Check! I even wanted the house we moved into because it had a room under the garage. My wife said, " So this is the new hobby/exercise/whatever room then?" "No dear, this is the bike room." Ha ha. Classic!
www.youtube.com/attribution_link?u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpHDEzZ6u2ps%26feature%3Dshare&a=vq5L-trtq8T5njL9RTrTFw
Edit: Faving that shit like its my job!
For some reason that "amateur photographer friend" cracked me up. Great job!
1. You wont ask me to sleep in the living room huh?!
2. Well you can teach our chilldren how to bike before they can walk.this is acceptable
i din´t know they work with dh bikes ....
1:30-1:35
Ha ha
My life in 4 minutes