[April Fools] Boost Your Instagram Likes With Kona's New Instant Trail Dogs

Apr 1, 2021
by Kona Bikes  
Olive Buck and Roscoe

SICK OF YOUR BIKING PHOTOS ON INSTAGRAM NOT GETTING ENOUGH LIKES?

You’ve eliminated thigh-gap from all of your riding kits…
You’ve purchased the latest iPhone with portrait mode…
You’re constantly late for work because you insist on shooting at sunrise…
You even purchased a trendy enduro helmet and ultra-fast glasses…
Damn you look good! And, to top it all off, every tool, pump and tube is now attached to your bike with the latest straps and gadgets.

Does it seem like no matter what you try, nothing seems to boost those numbers? Well, we have a scientifically proven solution for you!

INTRODUCING THE ALL-NEW KONA INSTANT TRAIL DOG!

We’ve taken the latest non-Darwinian principles and created a new paper technology we’ve dubbed E40. In its raw form, E40’s molecules flow freely, allowing it to be a soft and flexible paper, but when shaken, they lock together to form a rigid, cardboard-like state. Now, thanks to Kona, you can have all the benefits of dog ownership without any of the poo!

Olive Buck and Roscoe
Olive Buck and Roscoe

Olive Buck and Roscoe
Olive Buck and Roscoe

Kona’s Instant Trail Dog fits in your pocket or trendy-hand-made-hip-pack and simply unfolds trailside to give you all the social media benefits of dog ownership on the spot!

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  The days of low likes are over!

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  Watch your likes and engagement increase by a scientifically proven 400%!

  Currently Available Models: Foldable Lazy Roscoe, Foldable Scrub Olive, Foldable Speed Buck

“Before my foldable trail dog, I had to rely on my real trail dog for attention. He’s great and all, but picking up his poop was stressing me out and making me smell so bad! Now I can just use the foldable Roscoe version and there’s no cleanup! I get great photos and smell awesome! Thanks, Kona Instant Trail Dogs!”

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  Connor Fearon before The Kona Instant Trail Dog

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  Connor Fearon’s results after using The Kona Instant Trail Dog (Speed Buck model).

“Before using my instant foldable trail dog, I was so busy trying to get Fluffy to scrub jumps like a pro. But it turns out a Basset Hound is just not that good at jumping. Or running. Or doing anything quickly. My Kona Foldable Olive makes me feel like I have a real trail dog and gives Fluffy the rest she deserves. No more tired, squatty legs for her. My last photo got 3,141.5 likes! We both win!”

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  Miranda Miller was at her wit’s end before The Kona Instant Trail Dog, she’d tried everything!

Olive Buck and Roscoe
  Miranda Miller will never need to own a real dog now that she’s experienced instant social media results by using The Kona Instant Trail Dog. That Lazy Roscoe model makes her look extra fast!.

Olive Buck and Roscoe
Olive Buck and Roscoe
Kona Instant Trail Dog tester Seb tests out a prototype model.

No more friends with dogs getting way more likes than you on social media!
No more pretending like you’re gonna pick up your dog poo when you really just flick it into the bushes!
No more getting dog hair on absolutely everything!
No more wet dog smell!
No more having to be responsible for another creature’s safety and well-being!


Olive Buck and Roscoe
  We are constantly testing new breeds of dogs for increased engagement. Begbie is trending hard and will be available for purchase in the near future.

Olive Buck and Roscoe

Order your instant trail dog NOW and become the influencer you’ve always dreamed of!


46 Comments

  • 90 0
 Can I also get Instant Friends?
  • 10 0
 Bring some old cardboard cut outs from Blockbuster.
  • 12 0
 I need to buy some Airspace, to put between my wheels and the ground.
  • 44 1
 BRUH THERE IS NO WAY I JUST GOT RICKROLLED BY PINKBIKE
  • 6 0
 Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you

*some doggo and his stick
  • 5 0
 RICKROLLs aren't what they used to be...kinda diminished by the 2 ads that come up ahead of it. Loses the shock value. Also loads slow AF today...
  • 2 0
 Hey I rickrolled 4 or 5 times by I9 today
  • 21 0
 Help! I tried folding up my dog to put him in my pocket and he bit me. Am I doing it wrong?
  • 10 0
 Do they have any portable Remys, or Yonnans I can stick in my pocket. So when I pull up on a two foot rock roll I can set him up near the bushes and have him "Cheer me on"?
  • 10 0
 Just be sure to pick up your Yoann when you leave so he doesn't have to do it later.
  • 4 0
 This year's haul is seriously good! Probably cause bike companies don't have any bikes to sell so they can put extra time into them. Maybe next year pinkbike should stretch it out to a week.
  • 4 0
 The world needs more of this
  • 4 0
 Jokes aside, are these for sale?
  • 3 0
 This is my favorite day of pinkbike of the year, and this is my favorite article today!
  • 3 0
 That's actually pretty realistic! Where can I order? lmao
  • 8 0
 There’s a link at the bottom of the article Smile
  • 1 0
 @peterfoley5: Yoooooo i missed that lol
  • 12 0
 @peterfoley5: Jeez how did I fall for that in math class, no headphones in, and my volume was as high as an XC racers seat on a climb.
  • 1 0
 @peterfoley5: You Devil
  • 2 0
 Heeeeyyyyy this link WAS a rick roll! I was just waiting for there to be one of those!
  • 3 0
 foldable lazy roscoe is the best thing ever conceived
  • 2 0
 Support post aren't carbon....I am out.
  • 2 0
 What kinda dog is Speed Buck? 10/10 would scratch ears
  • 1 0
 Jack Russell maybe? Hair is so short. Hmm...
  • 2 0
 This one--FTW!
  • 1 0
 I've been to increase my following so bad. Gracias perros!
  • 1 0
 Can I get one with Harry Henderson?
  • 1 0
 Can I have one with a Sloughi please?
  • 1 0
 This is hilarious and stupid in the same time
  • 1 0
 Waiting for the carbon version
  • 2 0
 D'ya like dags?
  • 1 0
 I knew it!! my dashund can follow me on the trail!!
  • 1 0
 Rick rolled
  • 1 0
 This one is legit!!!
  • 1 0
 Take my money!!!!!
  • 1 0
 Take my dog treats!!!
  • 1 0
 Well done Kona!
  • 1 1
 Surely this is April Fools joke from Kona. Just ride you posers
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