Update: Industry Veteran Michael Bonney Passes Away After Announcing Decision to End His Life
After announcing his decision to allow his life to end last Tuesday, Michael Bonney passed away on Saturday.
Bonney was injured in a road biking accident in 2013 at age 54 and has been living with near total paralysis for the past six years. He posted a beautiful, heartfelt letter explaining his reasons for turning off his life support systems last week. In it, he explained that he expected to pass quickly and that he would be sedated to reduce his suffering. The original story is below.
His wife Linzi Anne announced his passing yesterday and Orange posted a heartfelt tribute. Both can be read in full here:
 | Michael, for those who don’t already know, passed away on Saturday afternoon in a peaceful and dignified manner at home as he wished. I feel so sad Michael felt unable to continue on but at the same time I’ll take solace that he is finally free from suffering and at peace. At this sad time I’m minded of a conversation we had shortly after his accident, at a time when he still had dreams and the reality of complete paralysis was sinking in. He told me of a dream he had the previous night and how gutted he felt to wake to the realisation it was only a dream - he told me: I dreamt of my hands and legs being stung by nettles as I rip down the trail that leads to the Beamish Burn, it's dry dusty and all I hear is the laughter from JMC and Colin D who lead me down, Brian F is behind me and the summer sun is setting, it’s a perfect biking night, I'm hoping it's not just a dream but something I'll look forward to with my old buddies..... Well Michael, I hope you can finally feel the adrenaline burn in your legs, I hope those nettles are stinging like f*ck and most of all I hope you are free of suffering and pain and are riding hard and fast with your buddies who went before you...... ride free my love xx |
| It is with great sadness that we mourn the passing of Michael Bonney on November 9th 2019. Michael was a major part of the Orange bikes story who instigated many of the major chapters of our history. He joined the company in 1994 just six years after we began. During his time at Orange he inspired so much that the list is endless. Those adventures included overseeing the signing of Team Animal Orange, leading to The Global Racing Downhill team featuring some of the greatest riders from the sport including Greg Minnaar and Mik Hannah. Later he secured a deal with Steve Peat which brought major success and more World Cup wins and championships. During this time he nurtured and developed many young riders, who form part of the international mountain bike community that Michael embodied. Orange Bikes would not be where we are today if Michael Bonney had not been a part of this history. Michael was very much a part of the Orange Bikes family and as many of you will know suffered a life changing injury in March 2013 which left him paralysed from the neck down. Michael's journey since then has been inspirational. Shortly after the accident he married his long-term partner Linzi and from that building block went on to carve out a successful cycle industry consultant roll helping many companies with his in-depth industry knowledge and experience. However, in the long run this life was never easy and many of you will have seen Michael's heart wrenchingly honest final post on social media. Our hearts are saddened but we fully respect Michael's decision to refuse medical intervention and let fate take its course, which it did on Saturday 9th or November. Michael passed in the company of those that he loved. We salute you Michael and thank you for all that you gave before, during and after your time with Orange Bikes. You have inspired so many and wherever you have gone, we're sure you'll continue to do so. Ride on Michael. We will keep riding for you. |
Our thoughts are with Michael's partner Linzi and his family and friends at this difficult time.
Original story
Michael Bonney at Eurobike in 2010. Photo by Jacob Gibbins.
Greg Minnaar with Michael Bonney in 2015. Photo credit Crank Brothers.
We are incredibly sad to tell you that Michael Bonney, the former Managing Director of Orange Bikes, has decided to end his own life. Bonney was injured in a road biking accident in 2013 at age 54, and has spent over six years since living with almost total paralysis.
He shared a beautiful, heartfelt letter explaining his decision on his Facebook page today.
| And so it ends. I’ve always been open about my disability and life and feel that the last chapter requires that same openness. After 6 1/2 years I’ve let my body decide whether it can sustain life, I’ve switched the vent off and as my breathing slows will be sedated and won’t have any medical treatment to help stay alive. According to my doctors my lungs will slowly stop moving and sats will drop. Given my stubborn body there is the possibility it’ll keep breathing, it hasn’t done anything that I have wanted since the accident  .The decision to switch off the vent wasn’t that difficult to make, the surprising part is I got this far but that is down to the support I’ve had from so many people and me not wanting to let them down. The list is too long to thank everyone individually although I will thank a few further down this post but I hope that everyone who has helped realises that their support was appreciated. It got me through some difficult times, gave me opportunities to try and find some form of satisfaction inside a broken body and made me understand the value of friends. In many ways I’ve been lucky to travel this journey, I’ve learnt about myself and the kindness of others, can’t say it is the way I would of chosen but I will leave this world a lot wiser because of it. You’ll probably be asking why? That is a hard one to answer as it isn’t one thing. Living with no movement is hard, living with no physical sensation a lot, lot harder. I miss the feeling of touch more than anything and find knowing that I will never have it again very difficult. As I get older I look to the future and question what it will be like living in old age like this, it holds little appeal. I’m tired of being dependant on others, hate what I go through every day, spend most of the day with eyes shut trying to pretend that I am somewhere else. The total loss of independence isn’t me. The side effects of constantly being cold, never ending hypersensitivity on my chest, spasms that twist and distort me all limiting what I can do. Constant pressure sores, months spent in bed unable to do anything with Linzi. Watching a relationship fall apart stuck in bed. Throw in the pissing and shitting problems along with lungs needing a plastic pipe shoved into them to remove the build up of secretions and I do find it difficult to find quality in life. And that is ultimately what life is about, being able to do things, keep a relationship together doing things together, being able to socialise not leave at 9pm so your care team can get you to bed. No spontaneity, everything planned with military precision, it just isn’t me. For the last 6 1/2 years I’ve lied and deceived, as much to myself as all of you, pretending that I could find pleasure in a difficult existence. There are times that I did but they are rare and not worth the price paid. I’ve tried to do things, managed to prove that a severely disabled person can work in the bike industry and I am proud of that but also know that I can’t do it like I once did which is a source of immense frustration. I’m grateful for the work opportunity with Ison, without it I’m not sure how I would of coped, it provided a release from the sleepless nights spent in the darkest parts of my mind. That mental game is the most difficult I’ve played and eventually wore me down but at the same time I’ve found comfort in knowing that I tried and that I am making the right decision based upon life experience and not a fear of life with an SCI. Yet again we are short of support workers, Linzi is having to cover too many hours and I live with the constant fear of my care package falling apart and being forced to exist in a care home or hospital. I can’t describe what that is like but anyone who visited me in the hell hole Hawthorns will understand. The relationship with the care companies has always been challenging, you can’t complain for fear they withdraw support and are only required to give one months notice when it takes 3 months to get a new care company in place. We struggle to recruit and that isn’t going to get any easier. The stress that a lack of support brings is one of the factors in my decision. It’s put a huge strain on my relationship with Linzi as she has to get involved and look after me when we are short of support workers. It can’t continue like this and I can’t expect Linzi to endure it indefinitely. I’m lucky to have enjoyed life to the full up until my accident, the bucket list was very short and this made the decision easier. I’m old enough to not think I’ll be missing anything, if I was younger or had kids and responsibilities it might be different. I’m aware that isn’t the case for many of my friends in similar positions and hope that they can find happiness where I can’t. So why now? My first words when brought out of sedation were “turn the life support off”, with no advance directive they wouldn’t do that, I tried again after 3 months but was deemed not to have mental capacity. After that I thought that the only option was assisted suicide in Switzerland but couldn’t put Linzi through that. A bit of research last year and I found that I could refuse medical treatment which included switching off the vent and after a lot of talking to doctors I was determined to have capacity. There is a line between assisted suicide and refusing medical treatment which keeps you alive and a lot of legal checking carried out prior to it being OK’ed. Didn’t know when I would do it but decided probably one more summer would be enough. Over the past few months my health has deteriorated, increased spasms, pressure sores (multiple), more medication, greater fluctuation in body temperature and more making life even more painful and uncomfortable. As summer rolls into autumn and now almost winter it is time to end the suffering, I don’t want to endure another cold winter for little pleasure. One of the hardest things was not telling close friend’s, I made the decision in July and have had opportunities, apologies to anyone that I met and couldn’t say anything, I didn’t like being deceitful. I have to thank the Palliative care team and district nurse team that have supported me through this process, every step checked out and kept informed and always making me aware that I could change my mind even after I switch the vent off. Legally I am refusing a medical treatment and the care that I receive subsequently is sedation for the discomfort and pain. The trust’s legal team and coroner have been consulted and we have followed their guidelines. I don’t think anything more could of been done to keep me informed and capable of making my own decisions. Support from the teams that tried to alleviate the health problems right up until the last minute, caring for me just in case I would change my mind, everything possible done to try and get me in a better place but ultimately respecting my wishes and preparing to make sure that I am comfortable in my last hours. I don’t think anyone can ever understand the reality of my life and I am lucky, lucky to have friends, lucky to have employment, lucky to have had the financial support of the Ride for Michael trust, lucky to have a wife who has endured so much. Sadly it isn’t enough, I’ve lost too much and know that I can’t have it back. The only certainty in life is death and I now accept that going early is the best option, enduring years more of this holds no appeal and I am fortunate to have a way out, paralysed lungs does have a benefit. The realisation of the impact on my body became clear when I asked about donating my organs and nothing is usable, 6 1/2 years and that is how much I’ve deteriorated, little wonder that the side effects are getting worse. It is not going to improve, something that I have known for a while. I’m aware of the stereo typical disability means life isn’t worth living and sadly that is where I am, others can and will cope better than me, I’m just not strong enough to keep going so please don’t pity anyone with a disability, they have an inner strength and are getting on with life in difficult situations. They need the world to change and your support to do that not your pity. I’ll be honest and say that for me it is a miserable existence, in no way comparable to my previous life but I had such a good life it was never going to be. Looking back I had a fantastic time, dream job, travel, amazing partner, all the toys that I wanted and a diverse group of friends, few are so lucky in life. And finally a few thank you’s, apologies to anyone that I miss out, Lester, Lloyd, John C, Antony, Piers, Geoff McComb, John, Mike and everyone involved with Ride for Michael. Pat and the team at Ison, all of my support workers and the medical teams that have supported me especially in this final journey where the same care that kept me alive goes into looking after me as that life ends. Friends in Penrith who have helped out, friends who fund raised to help me buy equipment, Jack at Remap who modified that equipment, Stuart at Cyclone, my mum, sister and family who knew that I had made the decision and understood why and didn’t apply any pressure to me to change it and finally Linzi I couldn’t have made it this far without you, I didn’t just destroy my life I took yours as well and it is time to give it back. I’ve decided to be buried rather than cremated and hope that anyone who attends my funeral celebrates my life, come in the clothes I would usually see you. No mourning, I’m making a decision that is the best for me and Linzi and have no regrets. No flowers please, donations to Hospice at Home charity and Eden Animal Rescue. The balance of the Trust fund is being donated to Remap charity. Despite everything I still love cycling and hope that the Ride 4 Michael aim of keeping people riding bikes continues in spirit. It doesn’t need me to do that it just needs you to keep riding. And so ends my Facebook posting, thanks for reading if you got this far, thanks for your friendship. |
From all of us at Pinkbike, we're wishing Michael the best in this final leg of his journey, and our thoughts are with his family.
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is to open it up for the public so the public can understand the thankfully rare and extreme circumstances people face.
I hope your mom has found peace...and that you work towards yours.
Agreed, my father is battling the last phase of an agressive cancer as we speak and to see him losing all abilities and suffering its really tought BUT more so when he's telling you he's done and would like to go now but you cant do a thing about it? or can I? I dont know what to do
keep your head high, live the life, that life has given you now, it's ok to be sad and devastated and perhaps also mad.
I am very sorry for what you are going through, but please don't lose sight of who you are, who you were. I wish for you, your father and family strength through this tough time. it's ok, to be whatever you are, and it's ok to feel whatever you might feel now.
The last time i visited her, she did not know who i was, at least i did not scare her. My wife was with us and she had no idea at all who my wife was and was scared of her, i had been married for 4 years at the time and she even was at my wedding. =/ the worst part of it was watching what it did to my parents as i watched them have to care for her in this state. And i know she would not have wanted to live like that
In the event you meet with a horrible accident or ? you have let your wishes be known.
My son had terminal cancer and had signed one so he didn't wake up and have to deal with the horror that his life had become.
Rest in peace Michael
He essentially wrote his own eulogy and was able to take control of his life. To those that know him, this post is extremely valuable. I can only imagine that reading this gives those people relief knowing that he had such an admirable perspective of his life. He was content with what he had accomplished and left with pride. I don’t think we could ask for much more.
Rest easy, Michael.
Can you explain your criticism rather than insult me?
I think you should take your own advice and not approach my comment smugly.
The ethicists, attorneys and others who stand to benefit (play God?) make it so.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Peace Michael, a very brave soul indeed
I don't think anyone could argue that this is simply the right thing - Michael has fought enough.
It's his life and, therefore, this is (and should always only be) his choice, his call.
Chilling and beautiful at the same time. I can't imagine what goes on in the head of someone like that.
May your passing be easier than the last 6 1/2 years of living have been and may your loved ones find peace and celebrate your life.
Geezus, the man was trapped in a prison with the keys right there on the other side of the bars just outside of arms reach. I understand protocol, but damn. I'm glad you were finally able to do what was best for you. RIP.
thank you very much.. i really appreciate your comment
and yes,...it most certainly is.
E.
Deepest Condolences, Peter Pollock
Ride in peace Michael !