Round Up: April Fools Jokes From Around the Cycling Industry - 2024

Apr 1, 2024
by Sarah Moore  
We all need some laughs once in a while. We hope you enjoyed some of the finest pink bikes of Pinkbike this morning. Here are some of the other jokes we've spotted from around the bike industry:




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PRESS RELEASE: HOPE GETS SMART WITH APP AND HUB CONNECTIVITY.

Hope Tech, leading bicycle manufacturer delves into the tech world with new app.

Users of the new Smart Freehub* and Hope smartHub app can easily tune & customise their hub. The new integration removes the need to swap freehub bodies and gives the user the opportunity to bring back hub sounds from the past.

Now, riders select the hub model of their choice, and the freehub type at the press of a button meaning no more time spent switching freehub bodies and more time riding. The pièce de resistance the Hub sound selector. Scroll through the back catalogue of Hope Hub sounds and choose your favourite. Enjoy the buzz of a Bulb or remind yourselves of the days of the Pro 2 evo.

“We’ve seen the revival of vinyl and analogue film, so why not use tech to bring back the Hope sounds of old. Customers tell us all the time how they miss the noise of Pro 2 or the buzz of an older hub, so we thought why not give them the option.”

Selecting the soundtrack to your ride has never been easier.

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PRESS RELEASE: What Canfield Really Means

Canfield Bikes Field of Cans

Where Performance Grows

It's a common misconception that Canfield Bikes is named after Lance Canfield.

While our owner, engineer and designer's last name certainly is fortuitous, our brand name comes from the source of our frames. Locally sourced, organic, non-GMO, ethically raised and infinitely recyclable, the aluminum used in our frames is harvested from the legendary Field of Cans, also affectionately known as the "Can Field."

Its exact location is a heavily guarded secret, but it's where we grow both our 6 and 7-thousand series aluminum. We plant, tend and grow our aluminum seeds for an optimal combination of strength and weight. We say suportive, nurturing things to them. Sometimes we even sleep in the field with them.

Canfield Yelli Screamy Aluminum Hardtail
From field to trail, every Canfield bike is grown with love.

Every spring, cans sprout and when they're ripe, we carefully harvest them before they are milled with love and extruded for tubing or machined for other frame parts and components.

While Lance's dialed suspension kinematics and geometry are why Canfield bikes ride as awesome as they do, performance starts at the source.

From field to trail, every Canfield bike is grown with love.

Now you know.

CanfieldBikes.com



PRESS RELEASE: COQS - Computer Optimized Quick Stiffener

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“What if you could bring the inherently confidence-inspiring ride quality of a dual-crown fork to a long-travel enduro fork, or even add more stiffness to an already burly DH setup?"

The grey area between the ferocity of downhill riding, repeated bike park laps, and aggressive trail riding that can benefit hugely from a system that allows real-time stiffness optimization in the fork when you need it, yet retains flexible compliance when you don’t.

With the help of Computer-Aided Design, Fused Deposition Modeling, feedback from some of the best riders at this one trail, and designed by one of the product designers of all time, a new era of mountain bicycling has dawned:

Riders, it’s time to grab your COQS: Computer Optimized Quick Stiffener.

COQS revolutionizes the already innovative “bolt on, quick swap” (BOQS) mudguard system first introduced by CavaNero in 2021 and works to increases rigidity between the fork and frame in real time, at every single fork compression. All you need to do is swap out your existing BOQS fender and replace it with COQS.

How it works:

First, a specially designed stanchion, aligned exactly to the fork’s steerer tube opening, travels upward and into the cavity, creating an additional interface between the fork and the bike frame. More surface area between fork steerer and frame equals more rigidity. Simple.

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However, unlike a heavier dual-crown fork, this interface is instantaneous and only exists during suspension compression, when the most force is exerted onto the bike. Upon rebound, the COQS shaft exits the fork steerer and normal fork compliance returns. This process happens automatically without any further rider input.

Next, a specially designed bottom out bumper at the base of the stanchion is designed to absorb any particularly harsh hits when COQS smashes upward against the fork crown. A low-density cavity combined with surface ridges ensure that impact forces dissipate through the fender and not through the frame.

All of this means that on the most demanding terrain, COQS leaves the rider feeling confident to push harder and send deeper than ever. And of course, mud deflection remains, keeping stanchions clean and your face safe from spray.

Warning: due to the addictive nature of aggressive riding, equipping COQS on your bike may cause extra wear and tear on the frame, as well as excessive fatigue in the arms and hands of a rider, so it is highly recommended to not ride for more than 4 hours at a time, and to hydrate accordingly. Finally, it is not recommended for use by riders under age 18.



Looking to spice up your ride Brake Butter could be the product you never knew you needed.
Looking to spice up your ride? Brake Butter could be the product you never knew you needed


PRESS RELEASE: Neutron Components debuts Brake Butter for tuneable modulation

The MTB industry has always been a business of trends. First it was wheel size – first big, then small, then one of each. Then came the era of radical geometry, with brands all vying for power in an arms race for the longest, lowest, and slackest bike on the market. And now it seems we’ve ushered in the dawn of the planet of the brakes; more pistons, more power, and undoubtedly more pricey.

Like with any trend though, we’ve taken it just a bit too bloody far.

With the introduction of the Maven a little over a month ago, and SRAM’s recommendation that most riders should actually downsize their rotors and switch to resin pads, we knew that something had to be done. So we put our in-house chemistry team to work and, after days of gruelling formulation and testing, are pleased to present to market the world’s first MTB-specific rotor lubricant: Brake Butter.


So how does it work? Well the secret is in our Faux Crashima Coating; by suspending nano-particles of Oxygenated Tert-Butylamine in a matrix of low-shear scoparium we’ve been able to strike the perfect balance between not-quite- and just-enough braking power. Our engineers have packaged that all up in a specially-developed polymer shell with integrated helical butter delivery device to allow riders to adjust their brake modulation with pinpoint accuracy.

Sticky Laurence left Neutron Components resident chemist does science
Neutron Components’ resident chemist, Sticky Laurence (left), doing science

That may all sound very complicated, but the good news is that Brake Butter is extraordinarily easy to use. If your brakes have too much bite and you’d like to increase the amount of modulation, simply apply the slippery end of the applicator to your brake rotor and turn your wheel through one full rotation… and that’s it! As you start your ride the Butter will transfer to your brake pads and quickly adjust your modulation on the move.

The science is clear a definitive increase in modulation without sacrificing lever force
The science is clear: a definitive increase in modulation without sacrificing lever force

Frequently asked questions:
• I’ve put too much Brake Butter on my rotors and now I can’t slow down. How do I remove it?
• Can I put this on my Trickstuff MAXIMA’s or should I have just bought cheaper brakes?
• I’m concerned about the ingredients list, what is tetra ethyl lead?

Further details:
RRP: $49 NZD / $29 USD / $40 CAD
Size: 9 ml / 0.3 fl.oz / 0.08 gill
For all the details head over to neutroncomponents.com



PRESS RELEASE: Intend


Those who don't move with the times move with the times. This saying is as catchy as it is true. As we all know, product development in the world of mountain biking has reached a point of stagnation. Suspension travel changes are no longer drastically altering, steering angles and wheelbases have reached an optimum, and even with suspension forks, there isn't much left to further develop, according to Intend. Therefore, the steps presented here are more about evolutions rather than revolutions.

The Intend team, evolving around their company dog Oki, has spent some time pondering what else could be developed further, and has come up with three exciting new innovations.

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Oki, the company always inspires new ideas

Unipiece Lowers

For boutique brands, it's currently en vogue to mill things out of solid material. "We can do that too," thought Jannick Schätzle, the skilled CNC operator, and came up with the idea of milling the full lower legs, including dropouts, from solid material. This promises minimal improvements at maximum production costs. After evaluating the company's core principles, it has been determined that this aligns perfectly with the principles of a boutique brand and is a great opportunity to showcase this core point outwardly.
The new lowers are each milled from a solid block of heavy-duty 7075 T6 aluminum. Recycling of the shavings for this product is uncertain, as the machine often mills other parts as well, and the purity of the shavings cannot be guaranteed.

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Jannick Schatzle had the idea to mill out lower legs + dropouts out of one solid piece of aluminum.


Lower Blades

In addition to the milled tube/dropout unit, these expensive parts will now also be protected with guards, known as Lower Blades. It would be ecologically catastrophic if the intricately manufactured lowers were rendered unusable due to scratches. The milling machine is also utilized here. In painstaking work (individually tracing the milling lines), the guards are milled from solid material, and subsequently hard-anodized to prevent scratches from visibly scraping into the aluminum. These guards are garnished with three fine black titanium screws to firmly install them onto the one-piece lowers.

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The lower blades are fully cnc'd and black anodized


U-Turn-Izer
Last but not least, Intend has also significantly further developed the internals. The nearly frictionless air spring has now been optimized. Following the marketing principles of the big players, Intend claims that the optimum has been further optimized. Mathematically impossible, but certainly feasible in marketing terms. Not only has the friction been reduced, but according to Intend, the travel can also be adjusted as desired. The so-called U-turn-izer in the air spring looks as follows.

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You simply rotate the stanchion and can adjust travel freely. 1mm per turn is what Intend claims.

Price & Availability

Due to the elaborate production process, there are delays in delivery. This is also one of the core competencies of boutique brands, offering products that they do not yet have in stock. Company CEO Cornelius Kapfinger states that Intend would lose its economic foundation if they did not act according to their core competencies. Therefore, the availability of the new parts is not guaranteed for now.
Prices are not provided upon request; Intend BC justifies this by stating that if a customer asks for them, they probably don't have enough anyway. Therefore, a price indication would be irrelevant.

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Sick of Sweet Energy Gels? This Beef Stew Flavor Sports Nutrition Is Coming to Save You.

'Cycling in Flanders' tourist organization launches Stoofvlees-friet flavor gels, available as of ... April 2.

Fed up with the same old sweet’n’sickly cake, cola, and caramel flavored energy gels?

Fear not, “Cycling in Flanders” has got your back.

The Belgian tourist organization claims to have produced its own limited-edition beef stew and fries flavor sports fuel, and it’s due for release Tuesday – just one day after April Fools Day.

“Flanders is famous for its delicious Belgian fries, often accompanied by a hearty beef stew: Stoofvlees-friet, which is mouth-wateringly good. Especially after a bike ride on the bergs and cobbles of Flanders,” read a product release from Cycling in Flanders.

“We realized that not everyone has experienced these delights. This is why we created the perfect synergy: energy gels inspired by our top classic Flemish dish: stoofvlees-friet!”

Stoofvless is a staple of any Flemish bar or brasserie menu.

It’s a rich, unctuous concoction of slow-cooked beef in a mustard and beer gravy, and the perfect gut-liner before or after a few too many tripels.

Read more here.



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Ratio Technology Announce Ovalsized Jockey Wheels

Ratio refine drivetrain efficiency by reducing chain articulation angle through the derailleur cage with Ovalsized Jockey wheels, for when Oversized Jockey Wheels simply aren't efficient enough.

Press Release

Here at Ratio, we prioritize three aspects in every product: efficiency, efficiency, and efficiency. Would it have been more efficient to say that once? Not when it comes to our latest product, the Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheels.

Using the latest biomimicry techniques, we’ve taken inspiration from dinosaur eggs to optimize the local curvature at a continuum of points around the circumference of each of our Ovalsized™ jockeys. Maximum efficiency is achieved twice in each jockey’s rotation cycle, when the reduced articulation angle of each engaged chain link decreases fatigue and induces psych by up to 37%.

Each 20 tooth jockey wheel is designed specifically for use with a 40 tooth chainring; not only does peak efficiency occur four times per cycle – helping you over top dead centre – but the variable chain take-up preloads the derailleur’s cage spring, increasing chain tension to propel you forwards.

Please note: As the Ovalsized™ jockeys induce cyclic variations in B gap, we recommend only shifting when the upper jockey wheel is at 67 degrees rotation relative to datum for peak shift performance. It’ll be a total arse at first but don’t worry – you’ll get used to it.

The Ratio Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheel system is ovalailable (see what we did there?) now at ratiotechnology.com for £1,234/€3,421/$3,142.

Coming soon: Ceramic Ovalsized™ Jockey Wheels. Choose from porcelain, terracotta and bone china. Note that we are unable to warranty terracotta, and do not recommend dropping any of them.











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97 Comments
  • 111 1
 The funny thing about brake butter is that this happened to me in real life. I was working at a shop and after i tuned a guys road bike brakes he actually came back and said they were "too powerful" and he added some grease to the pads to detune it. I'm not making this up, it actually happened.
  • 40 0
 Can confirm, this happened not infrequently at the bike shop I worked at. Usually to quiet squealing brakes... I'll let you guess how that turned out.
  • 27 2
 @alienator064: I mean, I bet the brakes stopped squealing...
  • 14 0
 @FartanSpartan: it usually made it worse
  • 25 0
 Had a customer spraying WD40 on his son's vbrakes because there were making noise , then came to me because the brakes didnt stop the bike. Go figure...
  • 4 0
 I was standing next to a customer talking to an employee at an auto parts store asking about using WD40 on the brakes to stop the noise in their car.
  • 13 0
 Concur, I’ve seen more than one set of disc brakes ruined with WD40 to get rid of the squeal. It works, no squeal, no friction.
In other news, one of my coworkers had the ranch dressing from his salad fall off his rear rack and into his rear rotor, ruined the pads for sure.
  • 20 0
 An actual customer at my workplace complained: Since you tuned up my bike, my rear brake skids when I squeeze the lever hard!
  • 10 1
 Ahhh....roadies!
  • 3 0
 @barp
kids these days...
  • 3 0
 @bikeguy92: She was actually around retirement age.
  • 4 0
 @FiLaReToS: A friend also did this, but in his defence he was 8yrs old then.
  • 4 0
 @alienator064: It's surprisingly common to have people lubing their brakes to get rid of squealing. Have had that happen several times in the shop I used to work in.
  • 6 1
 Yep, my other half once oiled her discs to cure the squealy noise. Pads were beyond salvation, as was she
  • 4 0
 @FartanSpartan: I bet there was still plenty of squealing when they tried to brake.
  • 2 0
 Had a guy bring in his bike to fix his brakes because he put WD-40 on the rotor to keep it from rusting if he rides in the rain.
  • 1 0
 @BikesBoatsNJeeps: But they tasted great
  • 3 0
 Heard that exact complaint (and idea for a fix) a bunch of times when talking to newer mountain unicyclists. To be fair, it's fairly hard at first to not get thrown "over the bars" if you are sitting directly above the wheel, but making brakes worse is still a bad fix for poor technique.
  • 1 0
 one of my worst kid's bike memory: went to mountain with my bmx and brake was noisy AF, the guy at the shop told me why don't you grease the pads? I did it...
  • 1 0
 can confirm. wd40, grease, chain lube, seen it all. unfortunately.
  • 44 2
 COQS wins.
  • 11 0
 Also showing a T-shirt with "RideCOQS" on it similar to RideFOX would have been a nice touch, but might be going a bit far for some.
  • 2 0
 i love how it's effectively penetrating the fork too lol. man. i also kind of wonder if it works a little bit...
  • 7 0
 @thepwnstar39: Until someone unequivocally disproves its functionality, we know in our heart of hearts that it just works.
  • 6 0
 @kpickrell: You're hired for our marketing team. Onboarding email sent.
  • 2 0
 www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxiIubMTnxk

it's not enough to win. you have to blow everyone else out.
  • 33 0
 Can Field. love it.
  • 3 0
 I enjoyed that one.
  • 2 0
 They seem to view the use of aluminum as a silver bullet. Although, I'd love to buy one of their frames if I could find a tall one. That field of nearly-ripe head tubes looks fabulous. OK, my yarner is on the fritz, sorry.
  • 3 10
flag southshorepirate FL (Apr 1, 2024 at 16:59) (Below Threshold)
 meh, looked to me like lame Ai generation
  • 4 1
 @thomasjkenney1024: Canfield's ride sick
  • 24 0
 The best April Fool I encountered was the Rotorua Trails Trust posting on Facebook that they were concreting over some of the trails at the Redwoods to save on maintenance ...

www.facebook.com/RotoruaTrailsTrust/posts/pfbid0nm8xnifhLgQpsf78XzEqwZzroHaWhKF9iThLLHRj38FFemxWCjyTV9jbPgzEFFsnl?comment_id=1063819531380492&notif_id=1711916262058840&notif_t=feedback_reaction_generic&ref=notif
  • 17 7
 This, and Blue Derby announcing they were banning e-bikes from the trail system. Had me excited for a second...
  • 12 1
 We laugh, but an actual MTB trail in Bentonville was paved with asphalt to reduce maintenance. Berm Peak (Seth's Bike Hacks) posted a video about what a great improvement it was.
  • 14 0
 @barp: Isn't Bentonville being the MTB capital of the world is joke?
  • 7 1
 @Fill-Freakin: No. Bentonville is the peak of MTB infrastructure and design, and you need a 4x4 JEEP Gladiator just to get to the trailheads (they're not all paved). Also, there's a neighborhood Walmart at every trailhead so you can re-slime your tubeless tires (all proceeds go to Berm Peak).

Jokes aside, Bentonville is the Moab of the Southeast. Worth a visit, once... But advanced riders will probably get bored. Newer riders will absolutely love it.
  • 22 0
 Best April fools was when pink bike made their website impossible to view. All control s were backwards and the screen would twist or something when scrolling. That’s where it’s at.
  • 21 2
 Damn the jokes used to be better… couldn’t even get through most of this.
  • 17 3
 It just seemed all a bit lazy this year didnt it?
Likely a tightening of wallets around the industry, remember I9's "turn it up to 11", that came with a produced video and everything, I think there was an actual product at one point as well!

www.pinkbike.com/news/industry-nines-april-fool-joke-becomes-reality.html

Maybe a "Lack of Levy, (LoL) I feel like he was instrumental to keeping PB a little more lighthearted, I fear its losing some of the personality. If Henry leaves, it'll essentially be Sarah trying to keep any sort of personalty alive in PB, while listening to the drone of Kaz and BP.......I joke...

I did like the Canfield one, that was fun.
  • 4 1
 The flaw in all of these fool's stories is the unfortunate fact that in order to get them, reading comprehension is required.
  • 1 0
 Budget cuts.
  • 5 0
 @onawalk: well we can't speak for other complacent MTB brands, but we are literally holding a COQS in our hand as we type, and you can clearly see it installed in our launch video. We're not even sure why our product was lumped in with all these prank products...
  • 3 0
 @onawalk: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxiIubMTnxk

it doesn't get more real than this.
  • 2 0
 @CavaNero: big apologies honestly, this had me chuckle.

Don’t grip that COQS too tightly…
  • 3 0
 @onawalk: I think the main issue is we get so many april fool jokes over the year, from the inside the headset cable routing to the 6 or 7 batteries involved to have a functionnal high end bike these days to the dildo shaped saddle that all these genuine april fool aren't just crazy enough anymore.
  • 1 0
 I loved the Maxxis no Sharpie story a few years ago. It was both funny and promoted their product. I couldn't see anything this year, maybe the Assegai who wrote it no longer works there...
  • 2 3
 @opignonlibre: oh jeez, spare me,
the whinging about pointless things is getting fairly tiresome.

Id be willing to bet, that headset cable routing hasnt caused you a single issue other than something to moan about...
  • 51 35
 Why bother putting so much effort into making jokes that aren't funny?
  • 116 6
 Your parents wonder the same thing.
  • 12 3
 Your are dead inside. see you in a next life
  • 9 1
 Why is Pinkbike preposting this in one story? It was so much better when you can go on pink bike and every story for April 1st was separate and each one funnier than the next.
  • 1 0
 Vertical version of the 8-bike hitch rack that Yakima also posted today!
  • 1 0
 Quality.
  • 9 2
 The joke is how much electronic stuff IS getting speced on bikes these days. And I wouldn’t put brake lube past Muc Off….
  • 10 0
 To be fair, I'm sure Absolute Black has been selling graphene infused brake lube to our roadie friends for years !
  • 8 0
 Next year the Valvegina insert with clicktoris technology for you fork crown?
  • 1 0
 Shhhhh! Don't leak industry secrets!
  • 2 0
 Clicktoris tech is elusive to find and hard to envision. Maybe we need training films to help us find it.
  • 8 0
 "Mathematically impossible, but certainly feasible in marketing terms."
  • 2 0
 Yeah, loved that one and definitely applicable to the mountainbike industry.
  • 6 0
 I stopped reading at COQS and went straight down to the comments.
  • 18 0
 I bought one of these kits but I don't have the length to meet the minimum insertion point, so instead I've installed it on the rear of my saddle. So far, its been a real pleasure.
  • 3 0
 @rocky-x: Have you considered a pump in conjuction with your COQS? It may help with achieving proper insertion by adjusting fork pressure...
  • 1 0
 @rocky-x: How many tokens , I mean COQS rings do you use to make it feel just right?
  • 6 0
 They forgot the ochain product release
  • 4 0
 Did they really nuke all the comments from the previous April fools posts? Bummer
  • 15 0
 No, we just moved all the stories back in the timelines to where they originally were.
  • 1 0
 My ex gf was cleaning her car, which had gotten dusty after it being parked up for two weeks whilst we were on holiday. The brake discs had developed a layer of rust.... so she got the WD40 and a cloth with engine oil on to clean them up. I let her take it for a test drive as I refused!
  • 10 5
 BORING
  • 2 0
 What if we found out that Outside acquiring and ruining pinkbike was just an elaborate April fools joke? We could wake up from this nightmare.
  • 4 1
 The Intend one aren't really a joke tho is it? It's more an arrogant insult than funny.
  • 3 0
 The Hope app reminds me of the I9 sound knob from a few years back.
  • 3 0
 Hasn’t the app for hub sound been done before?
  • 4 1
 I remember when Ebikes were an April Fool's joke...
  • 1 0
 I have created brake butter on accident by washing my bike. I now pull my wheels off, take my pads out and tape plastic over them.
  • 1 0
 What does it say when you see half of these and think yes these could be plausible products being promoted by the cycling industry. Bikes have gotten so silly.
  • 1 0
 Those 5dev pedals prove that scooping isn’t a thing! Jk jk jkw #teamscoop
  • 1 0
 The biggest joke is what the bike industry/conservation professionals are doing in Pisgah national Forest. What a joke.
  • 1 0
 Marketing professionals……want to make a big impact on apriil the 1st.
Don’t bother with some attempt at humour.
  • 11 11
 I could see Skratch making hot sauce. I bet it would taste about as bad as everything else they make too.
  • 1 0
 they misspelled HURRRRR as well. Total Boulder gumbie venture capitalists market mongers.
/hatehatehate
  • 1 0
 Is Sticky Laurence the one on the left?
  • 1 0
 those hope smarthubs might actually happen some time
  • 1 0
 Had a good laugh at the Canfield bit...authentic
  • 1 0
 I might like beef stew energy gels. Lol.
  • 1 0
 So is intend joking or not, they should actually release those updates
  • 1 0
 I wouldn't say no to the Flemish energy gels.
  • 1 0
 I am surprised that MTB industry is in the mood for jokes
  • 1 0
 29"/24"...Remy Morton has entered the chat
  • 1 0
 COQS FTW SNM
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