Torq Unveils Brexit Bar That Might Never Be Delivered

Oct 29, 2019
by James Smurthwaite  

Following Super Saturday, the Letwin agreement and now yet another general election being called, Torq have poked some fun at Britain's Brexit woes with a new themed energy bar.

The joke bar is claimed to contain "52% crispy leaves and 48% succulent remainsins" - mocking the divisive split in Britain's referendum result. The bar is also claimed to have been, "formulated by Torq’s Performance Nutrition team to give the UK population the energy they need to cope with the stresses and strains of the Brexit process".

Apparently Europeans can also buy the bars but it must be before October 31st or they will be held up in customs, that is, if the Brexit bar gets delivered at all...


bigquotesThe new Torq Brexit Bar contains 52% crispy leaves and 48% succulent remainsins. Formulated by Torq’s Performance Nutrition team to give the UK population the energy they need to cope with the stresses and strains of the Brexit process. These bars can be purchased by our European friends too, as long as we are able to ship them before the 31st of October, or they might get held up in customs? The ‘Organic Hellfire & Brimstone’ flavour and ‘Extra Messy’ formulation is bittersweet and complex – and we’ve almost finalised the recipe, we just need to get it signed off by the Torq Brexit Committee. We’re taking pre-orders now and we might deliver before 31st October, or we might not ever deliver at all, we’re not quite sure at the moment!

Of course, we haven’t really formulated a Brexit Bar. We have however recently crafted three deliciously moist and syrupy Organic Explore Flapjacks. At half the fat of a regular flapjack and packed with useful energy, they are the perfect natural snack to keep you going, whether riding your bike, hiking or relaxing with a cuppa after a morning’s hard graft.
Torq Fitness


Posted In:
Industry News



41 Comments

  • 23 0
 Bet it costs a f**king fortune, regardless of whether it’s delivered or not too
  • 20 2
 Someone's got to much time on their hands
  • 28 14
 I don't think we need to bring politics to pinkbike..
  • 3 0
 Why not? Politic deals with every single part of each others`lives in case you didn`t know. Articles about the impact of the trade war between the US and China deal with politic as well, and it concerns bicycles, multiple firms, economies, and customers. You are concerned. Everybody`s concerned as evething is politic.
  • 1 0
 @softsteel: I'm not disputing that politics affects everything in some way.. I just don't think it's necessary to discuss it on this platform when there's so many places more suited.
  • 1 0
 @nordland071285: Well, it doesn`t completely make sense to read that here, even if..., then you`re not obliged to read it. Wink
  • 10 1
 Yes all this is nuts, full of hidden agenda & false advertising?
  • 11 8
 Ironically it's mostly the wrinklies that want out! Smile
......checks pinkbike profile for EU flag option.....
  • 5 4
 wrinklies ? dont you mean the older and wiser
  • 6 3
 @mark3: Evidently not
  • 7 8
 Just let all your citizens vote (yes also those living in Europe, they are still Brits) and then I think we wouldn't have this discussion. But in fairness I quite enjoy Brexit, seeing the Brits relentlessly trying to figure out a way to not either get screwed by their own vote or not to loose face by remaining in EU is priceless. When all this will be done and dusted and you will either still be in EU or ask to come back in EU at least we will have a new source of jokes for quite a while ! Thanks you Great (little ?) Britain !
  • 1 0
 @Balgaroth: Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?
  • 2 0
 @nordland071285: Because the great Napoleon wanted his citizens and his army to march in the shade as well has allowing for acces to wood ? Do I get a good point ? Pretty please ?
  • 2 2
 @Balgaroth: Yep! Good answer
But the real answer to that joke is the justification my elderly neighbour gives me for her being pro brexit.
And as much as i think it's needlesly fearful years on, i understand her position since she and her generation went through a lot in the war that our generation won't ever fully appreciate
  • 3 3
 @nordland071285: My granny was in the occupied France during second WW and saw the Germans march down her windows. Guess what she never debated about EU because indeed ou generation have not faced war and Western Europe has probably known its longest period of peace thanks to EU. EU isn't perfect but it helps preventing war which alone is good enough for me. Brits never got invaded you only brought war to other nations (we had it both ways). Maybe if once you get invaded your nation will have a different view on how much peace is important.
  • 1 2
 @Balgaroth: Well said camarade :-)
  • 4 1
 @Balgaroth: Sorry to say but while Britain was never invaded it did have the shit bombed out of it in, and faced constant threat of invasion during WWII. Moreover a significant portion of British men and women of fighting age sacrificed their lives to help liberate your country, and others in continental Europe, under Nazi occupation throughout WWII. It wasn’t just America who helped you out. Please show a little more respect and gratitude to the fallen. We are neighbours and friends so let’s behave like that, in spite of the fact that unfortunately the larger proportion of my British countrymen would have you think otherwise. Peace out dude
  • 4 0
 @Balgaroth: I have seen news reports in Spain where they have asked expats from the UK whether they approve of Brexit or not. Unbelievably, some of those who were permanent residents (not necessarily actual legal residents), had voted to leave. They tended to be of the older generation. Brexit is a long joke with no punchline. It's going to be a disaster whatever happens. If we leave, the economy will tank and that will be bad news for everyone in the UK for a number of years. If we stay we will, for the forseable future, be the laughing stock of the rest of Europe and lose any respect we may have had as a nation. It's lose-lose. The only good outcome would be for time to reverse and the first referendum to have never happened, but that's unlikely.

All that said, it's only my opinion. And everyone has an opinion, just like everyone has an ass hole.
  • 2 0
 Torq fitness you can shove ya brexit flapjack straight up ya bleeeeeep !
  • 2 0
 @oldmanfalling: the fact is nobody really knows what will happen to the uk's economy when we leave the eu, but what if its suddenly starts to boom and the £ goes up in value,
my question is who will be the next country wanting to leave the eu if the uk does better for leaving.

and as for the people going on about the 2 world wars, where do you all think Europe would be if Britain was not involved in it in any way at all, please show some respect for all those that died in it, some were my older members of my family
  • 1 0
 @oldmanfalling: being laughed at never did me any harm !
  • 1 0
 @Matt115lamb: Me either and for me, it's the best of the 2 realistic options too.
  • 1 3
 @MonEddy: @mark3: do you really believe in the fairy tale that you and america came to rescue us ?! Like really ??? Only reason America and UK came to kick the shit out of the Nazi was because it was starting to slow down your economies and because you were worried that if the Nazi settled for too long and got comfortable you would be next on the list. Those are the only 2 reasons you got involved, cut the BS about saving us and whoever otherwise why didn't you come right when the Nazi invaded us while disregarding Belgium neutrality and slaughtering them in the mean time, and before that when they invided Poland. Sure if your countries were so altruistic the election of Hitler alone with his plan to kill jews, gay people and romanies should have been enough right ? F**k off would you.
  • 1 2
 @MonEddy: lastly please don't compare getting a few bombs to a war followed by occupation just google a little vit about the topics that is no possible comparaison if you knew the topic or had a minimum of decency.
  • 1 0
 @oldmanfalling: yep fingers crossed , sick of all the lies !
  • 3 0
 @Balgaroth: yo , the brits were there from the start for morality/humanity reasons so an apology would be nice and let’s not fight !
As for the US , they can defend themselves !
  • 4 0
 @Balgaroth: I know a great deal about the topic(s) being debated and not just as a Britain, but also as a second generation descendant of mixed French/German grandparents of catholic and Jewish background who fled Nazi Germany during the WWII due to their religious beliefs and ethnic backgrounds and threats of being hauled off to concentration camps. How dare you utter such vile self absorbed rhetoric. With your narrow mindedness, you really should be ashamed of yourself and try to read a bit of history beyond your own narrow corner of Europe/France. WWII AFFECTED EVERYONE, NOT JUST THOSE EUROPEAN COUNTRIES OCCUPIED BY THE NAZIS. You Sir with your vile words seem very self world centred and are the one who apparently lacks a minimum of decency
  • 2 0
 @Balgaroth: its not bs about Britain saving you, did you do history at school by any chance ?
  • 2 0
 @mark3: well said
  • 2 0
 @oldmanfalling: Sad to heat that many permanent residents voted to leave, in spite of the fact that they may potentially shoot themselves in the foot. Doesn’t surprise me that such individuals tended to be the older generation, although they should know better. To be honest I would far rather Britain remain in the EU, at least have a chance at re-kickstarting the economy, welcome our continental EU brethren and sistren, and be the laughing stock of Europe for a short time; than leave, have a screwed economy for the next 50-60 years, be the laughing stock of Europe, reviled by the EU, and struggling to make good on the promises of any trade deal we want. Populist votes that led to a vote to leave have a lot to answer for and will do IF we end up leaving
  • 2 0
 @MonEddy: well said to !
  • 3 0
 @Balgaroth: Well said, but you forgot something: the true main reason why the US and allied moved their asses to finally come for a rescue was because Stalin and communism was becoming a serious danger that threatened western Europe, and the US couldn`t accept that. After Stalingrad`s nazi defeat, the wind was turning and USSR was potentially becoming the savior of the West, which was unacceptable for the US. Imagine: the whole Germany would have become communist, and not only the east side, France was politically on its knees and communism had a certain attraction... etc... etc...
BTW: I know that many american won`t like to read and know that: but beside south american dictatorships, the USA hired quite a lot of escaping nazis after 1945, especially in the secret services. It`s sad but true.
  • 2 0
 this joke is not funny anymore
  • 2 9
flag Balgaroth (Oct 31, 2019 at 1:30) (Below Threshold)
 chill ! The Brits are sacrificing themselves to give us joke topics once they will either ask to come back or never have left. Win in situation for us mate Wink
  • 3 1
 Can we have an Escapeas flavour for expats with residents permits?
  • 1 0
 Ich auch!
  • 1 0
 How about some election campaign trail-mix for our MP's.
  • 1 0
 Genius
  • 2 0
 Rather Ransom
  • 1 1
 Made me chuckle!
  • 5 0
 Made me choke!

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