Video: Friday Fails #89

Oct 4, 2019
by Pinkbike Originals  

We say Friday, you say fails.


158 Comments

  • 207 12
 Its Friday fails, the best part of the week!
So stand up, dance and move to the beat!
I feel the pain, there’s no denyin’
I can’t help but laugh until I’m cryin’

I dedicate this one to all the noobs
Lookin tight in their New Balance shoes
They got a sweet rig with a hundred mils
They watch Pinkbike now they ride downhill

They try their best out on the trails
But they flip upside down when they shoulda bailed
They ain’t got skills but they got the heart
Brave enough to send a drop, that’s the hardest part

They get an A for effort, just keep on tryin’
Get back on the bike and keep on ridin’
Now don’t be hatin, they get all my respect
We’ve been in their shoes and had to climb the steps

I’m a hip hop god, that’s what they say
I wish Friday Fails happened every day
My rhymes are so hot that they catch on fire
But I smashed my balls now I’m three octaves higher
  • 17 0
 you could be the next Vanilla Ice, keep 'em coming!
  • 3 0
 To efin funny!
  • 2 0
 @VRvento: you beat me to it! lol
  • 3 2
 Good lord this is the greatest occurrence in my life thus far
  • 3 0
 @CrazyHorse4: glad I could be a part of such a momentous milestone in your life. Tune in next week.
  • 89 0
 f wooden landings wow
  • 6 0
 he's lucky the pedal didn't plant!
  • 81 37
 Can we just agree that it's a bad idea to have the following people film you riding?
If anyone on this list films you, its ending poorly:
1. Your mom
2. Teenage kid with puberty voice
3. Dude who doesn't speak English
4. Dude who films you laying there for a without checking on you
5. Anyone who gives advise during the run in
  • 3 0
 @qreative-bicycle: right, holy moly it didn't look bad but thats a massive liability
  • 83 12
 @bizutch: people ride all over the world, and english is not the only language on this planet.
  • 4 0
 how to loose your balls at 1:55
  • 5 0
 @bizutch: that is a good list of peeps to not film u doing all sorts of things.
  • 2 0
 I thought he was going for the gap to feeble, too much Mirra BMX as a kid.

Also, the sigh of pure defeat at 2:30
  • 7 4
 @BartDM: bizutch lives down dare north carolina he dont know know better mmhmmm
  • 25 32
flag bizutch (Oct 4, 2019 at 9:39) (Below Threshold)
 @BartDM @pargolf8 : holy heck buddy. Not one person on this planet is so stupid that you would need to even post that explanation. It's just a joke you cotton headed ninny muggins.

I tried to be "all inclusive" with my post but forgot to leave out #6
6. Snowflakes
  • 4 0
 @BartDM: how to loose your spleen in 0:06
  • 9 5
 @bizutch: so when someone jokes on your joke though, lines have been crossed. Relax, butch
  • 2 0
 @Srfntrf: That groan is terrible...
  • 15 24
flag Heidesandnorth (Oct 4, 2019 at 10:18) (Below Threshold)
 @bizutch: the typical reaction of nationalistic right-wingers after shelling out b.s. and being called upon - backpedalling „it was just a joke“ and insulting some more. Kinda like the Orange Idiot. Go figure.
Guten Tag auch, Dummbatz!
  • 10 5
 @Heidesandnorth: truth. Also throwing out the old “snowflake” term
  • 15 14
 @Heidesandnorth: So jokes about foreign accents are now a nationalistic right wing detrimental injury to the world?

It is a joke. When you hear someone in a foreign language calling out after some guy eats dirt, it actually DOES SOUND FUNNIER to someone who doesn't know the languages being spoken.

So are you joking now...or are you are actually "triggered" because I typed the words?:
"Dude who doesn't speak English"

You mad?
  • 13 11
 @pargolf8:
Urban Dictionary says...
TOP DEFINITION- snowflake generation
A term used to categorise the current generation of teens who become instantly offended by anything they either don't agree with, or deem to be politically incorrect. The word snowflake is used as a metaphor to convey the fragility of ones sensitivity towards said subject.
"Another delicate subject for the snowflake generation to get offended by"

Seems to fit the situation.

I'm pretty relaxed. As to the "joked on your joke" thing...as you can tell by the responses, they seem pretty serious. Wink
  • 7 16
flag pargolf8 (Oct 4, 2019 at 11:31) (Below Threshold)
 @bizutch: thank you butch. Im impressed by both your long and informative paragraph. Im assuming your are both a stable genius and perfect conversationalist on the telephone. We’ll see ya in church bud
  • 2 1
 @bizutch: is also ending poorly if you get filmed while riding that same people o_0
  • 4 5
 @bizutch: I think prior to documenting Point #3, one should really work on their own English. Please reference Point #4!
  • 10 15
flag dbbowen2 (Oct 4, 2019 at 12:09) (Below Threshold)
 @Heidesandnorth: Im american. Please know that not all of us like or support that orange dick head.
  • 7 0
 @dbbowen2: north or south?
  • 3 0
 @bizutch: Personally I'm a big fan of the many international versions of "oh sh!t" we get to experience on FF. In what language does this sounds like "oh curva"? I feel like we have a fair number of FF clips where the camera dude says this.
  • 1 0
 @Drew-O: "kurwa" is Polish at least, I don't know if it's shared with any other languages
  • 2 0
 @bizutch: 2 and 5 are probably the biggest precursors to disaster.
  • 3 0
 @BartDM: issa joke
  • 1 0
 I thought the same thing at first but after watching again I'm not 100% sure that's a landing. Doesn't look like an actual jump, maybe just a boardwalk that the dude decided to send it on.
  • 2 2
 @dbbowen2: I am well aware of the fact that the Good Old U.S. of A. are thankfully not entirely filled with narrow-minded fans of the self-perceived King of the Universe. Been here long enough to know a lot of nice, open- minded, decent folks!
  • 2 3
 @bizutch: if you would re-read your post, you would see that you were not talking about accents but about people who speak a different language. Big difference! Be aware that it is impossible to know what you THOUGHT writing. We can only judge what you actually wrote.
And no, I ain‘t mad - madness is a condition that psychologists determine ...
  • 76 0
 You know, you all complain about Dentists and Orthopedists and then you send stuff like this which gives them money to afford a 10K bike.
  • 6 0
 truuuu
  • 47 0
 1:08 "keep your feet on"... dudes face was in the dirt. Don't think he could hear you
  • 1 0
 Is this one People's Elbow? Hard to say from the angle but kind of looks like it
  • 4 0
 More importantly keep your head off that rock
  • 1 0
 @toddball: It is. Good eye. I looked at some video I had and some online photos and the trees & rocks match up.
  • 1 0
 @ctownrdr I can't believe that guy's head is still attached. After the dirt scrub on the side, he 360 whips his noggin into the ground.
  • 4 0
 Haha yeah the last part got me good. Luckily I was able to ride away w just a minor concussion @jaydubmah:
  • 1 0
 @Fraso253: Man - glad you're okay! That crash looked SAVAGE!
  • 1 0
 @Fraso253: Glad you were good, it's a long ride back to the car!
  • 41 1
 At 2:50, I'd like to see what a successful attempt at the mud puddle looks like.
  • 2 0
 This one made me laugh like hell lol
  • 28 1
 I get the feeling that the only reason some of these are caught on camera is because people know their idiot friends are going to crash. Otherwise, if successful, would be the most boring video in the world. "Hey everybody, check out my new video - guy in spandex rides down moderate grade hill and *makes* the turn at the bottom."
  • 4 0
 You can hear one guy say “dude we all knew that was gonna happen” i have friends who only pull out the camera when they see a known joey biting off too much
  • 26 1
 2:05 Roadie to his friend (filming): "Listen to me! I am going to pedal as hard as i can until the steep part. Then i will hit the front brake as hard as I can for no reason. Can you record it with your phone?"
  • 3 0
 The most commonly spoken last words before death or serious injury are...."watch this."
  • 4 0
 @mountaincross: thought it was "Hold my beer"
  • 26 0
 Friends don't run over friends...
  • 6 0
 yeah that last one is not good. Ride over your mate head. oooouch.
  • 2 0
 I'm impressed how few follow cam videos involve running over the crashing rider. 99% the follower comes to a safe and easy stop. Kinda makes you wonder why the crash happens if the guy behind you can not only ride it but not run you over.
  • 5 0
 Only best friends run over each other!
  • 1 0
 Everybody knows speed is your (backstabbing) best friend.
  • 15 1
 There were a few freak accidents but most of those were people writing checks they didn’t have the skills to cash. You can tell who’s riding in control then just makes a mistake and who’s getting in over their head farther then they should be.
  • 2 0
 To be fair: how else are we gonna progress other than stepping out of the comfort zone?
Not saying every one of these moves is a good idea (and yes some are borderline suicidal Big Grin ) but learning and pushing your limits also means ignoring their existence every now and again.

... now if you'll excuse me, i'm heading off to compete in RB Rampage.
  • 2 0
 @wowbagger: Progression? You must be under 40. I’m just happy to not experience regression.
  • 1 0
 @wowbagger: Haha good luck throwing down at rampage you sound super committed!
  • 14 0
 That gap to pedal feeble on the wooden landing :-O No thanks
  • 13 0
 Pretty sure that was the soul leaving the body at the end of the intro!
  • 13 0
 WAS THAT ROADIE WEARING A CAPE???!
  • 3 0
 AERO...
  • 8 0
 WHY ARE WE YELLING??
  • 4 0
 I think most roadies are super heroes in their own minds
  • 3 0
 @wowbagger: capes deserver caps.
  • 8 0
 2:13 pretty sure this is the huge step down feature on Stormin Norman in Burke, VT. Anyone confirm this? I've never seen it done, but this is exactly how I think it would go if I try it.
  • 3 0
 That is what it looks like to me. That crash was brutal. I have not tried it yet either - he came a full bike length short yikes...
  • 4 0
 Ha! Yep, rode around that one too on my first time down Stormin' Norman. Decision validated.
  • 2 0
 @stylishskier: Now that I've watched what a crash on that looks like, I can confidently say that I never need to try that one! (could confidently say that before as well!!) But I bet if he pulled up he would've made it, think it only looked short because he went ass over tea kettle straight to his face.
  • 3 0
 That crash looked really bad, I was wondering if the footage was recovered from his dead body.
  • 1 0
 This one ..... Wow. Things escalated fast
  • 7 0
 man, i have been MTB for over 20 years, with many a story to tell about injury, but as I sit week after week doing rehab for my broken hand and watching Friday Fails, I am starting to wonder if maybe I should take up lawn bowling....This week was cringe worthy..Christ...
  • 2 0
 Certain weeks are more brutal than others. This was one of those weeks.
  • 1 0
 Same damn boat haha
  • 2 0
 @TheR: You know it's going to be a painful one when the opening clip is a guy heading at a boulder field at speed. R.I.P. to their R.I.B.S.
  • 8 0
 I guess some people were never taught that you don't dress for the ride, you dress for the slide.
  • 5 0
 1:22 is conclusive proof that top mounting a water bottle unbalances your bike and causes fail. The pro-bottle-cage lobby is now fully vindicated Big Grin
  • 4 0
 3:18 gets 1 out of 3 ...for the impact points he had covered.

Goes to show you need a helmet AND kneepads AND elbow pads a lot of the time. Anything less is a gamble with your body parts.
  • 2 0
 Ride before last I wore the beefiest elbow and knee pads I have, gloves, and my DH FF... but that's all I got besides t-shirt and jeans. Never thought much of it, but I got launched OTB in a steep rock garden and bounced a bit, but miraculously landed in the dirt and missed each rock... now I'm considering padded shorts and a spine protector/upper body armor thing... lol
  • 3 0
 Public Service Announcement! Moving forward only videos shot in landscape (phone held sideways, long side parallel to the ground) will be accepted.) Amongst the biggest fails here are the videography. But that front case takes the win.
  • 3 1
 And only comments that are grammatically correct and spell checked with proper use of punctuation [like brackets above (idiot)], will be accepted.
  • 2 0
 @bholton: it's all about them instagram stories tho
  • 3 0
 That first clip reminded me why I love my old Hope M4 brakes so much - they would never lock up like that! Sorry, Hope, I meant to say they have excellent modulation...

Also, did I see a roadie in a cape? Must start drinking later in the day.
  • 3 0
 Kid at 1:25 is stuck in some sort of biking fails Groundhog Day. He crashes in exactly the same way, attempting the exact same jump, in the exact same spot every week!

See last week’s episode at 2:38...
  • 5 0
 So many dead sailors in this weeks Friday Fails you could crew a ghost ship!
  • 7 4
 After reading about Mikayla Martin, I'm not in the mood for Friday Fails. I usually look forward to them, but today I'm gonna pass.
  • 4 0
 The water pit/mud puddle is one of the best I have seen.
some of the others were brutal
  • 4 0
 This episode brought to you by the letters 'O', 'T', and by the letter 'B'.
  • 2 0
 Wheel of Misfortune: Where the given letters are not "R S T L N E", but "O T B R I P"
  • 6 2
 Gonna go out on a limb... Best. Friday. Fails. Ever.
  • 3 1
 Nothing like heading toward a landing with the back tire of your bike refusing to get out from between your legs. I don't know how that guy got up.
  • 1 0
 it wasn't what I was expecting either.
  • 3 0
 Run tubeless with low PSI - that way when you inevitably try to tattoo your tread pattern on your taint you’ll bounce off.
  • 4 0
 Ohhh kurwa. I love polish people
  • 3 0
 That first one made my blood run cold. Then the hits just kept on coming. So gnarly this week.
  • 3 0
 god that last one was straight up brutal
  • 2 0
 This week should've had a collar bone counter in the bottom corner. Maybe a crack noise every time the count goes up.
  • 3 0
 Opening crash...talk about getting ROCKED. Ooof!
  • 3 0
 Shoulda kept his feet on....
  • 2 0
 props to those who commit to the landing even when the bike is 90deg from where it needs to be
  • 2 0
 It’s amazing how many people hit their heads and to imagine riding without a helmet.
  • 1 0
 Wow these are all ruthless vs the regular 50/50 mix of guys who are just on a bike for the first time and crash because they have no clue what's going on.
  • 3 0
 YOU GOTI IT?

NO
  • 2 0
 1:19 is a win from the clutches of failure... the best kind of win.
  • 1 0
 So much to say that all I can say is the is the best Friday fails I’ve seen!
  • 1 0
 *this
  • 1 0
 @tobiusmaximum: I think we understood Smile
  • 2 0
 2:11 looked like a suicide attempt
  • 1 0
 i can't decide which is gnarlier: this week or the one this summer that had the guy face planting into that pointed rock.
  • 2 0
 I had a pretty bad faceplant in the fails this summer but luckily it wasn't onto a rock lol
  • 2 0
 Consistently the best way for me to learn swear words in new languages.
  • 2 0
 At 1:57:

For sale, only ridden lightly by girlfriend.
  • 2 0
 monkey see , monkey do....monkey go.....crash crash bahhh boom boom!
  • 2 0
 Was that guy wearing a cape? Pretty I saw a cape at min 2:04.
  • 1 0
 These Gumby body fucks have no business even riding at speed. No wonder there's been so many mtn biker deaths lately.
  • 1 0
 Can someone please share the directions on how to submit clips? Can't for the life of me figure out how exactly to do so
  • 1 0
 Some vintage fails here. Nice!
  • 1 0
 Lawn Dart edition. Great form.
  • 1 0
 So this is how bike companies and hospitals make money.
  • 1 0
 look out for that puddle!
  • 1 0
 vite vite vite vite vite! lad wasn't vite enough
  • 1 0
 Friday Fails my favorite weekly article
  • 1 0
 wow!!!! this one was carnage from the very beginning!!!
  • 1 0
 This week was especially vicious.
  • 2 0
 my bones hurt
  • 2 5
 Ah... The skills shown by the current lot of "super hardcore, I'm so pro" mtb douches.

1. Expensive bike, yup
2. Matching gear, definitely
3. Skill? Hahahaha "But, what about 1 & 2."

I'd give up knowing how to manual for the chance to know exactly how many of these Tools are the first to rip a company's new product because it's "not up to my standard of riding..."

Love me some Fridays
  • 1 0
 I am

1. Super sweet bike
2. literally the same shorts and shirt every single ride because im now poor
3. Poor because #1
  • 1 0
 POAST A MANUAL, PROJECT-O-TRON 4000~
  • 2 0
 That crankslide!
  • 1 0
 Last movie is a pure road rage. O chuj! :]
  • 1 0
 I got 2 good fail videos, how do I submit them?
  • 1 0
 There's a link in the YouTube video text: m.pinkbike.com/video/crashes
  • 1 0
 It looked so easy on YouTube
  • 2 0
 3:23 - needs MIPs!
  • 1 0
 2:05. "Oh shit, this isn't my mountain bike!!"
  • 1 0
 Man, some serious carnage today. Def one of the best!
  • 1 0
 I see there were quite a few pennies out on the trails this week...
  • 1 0
 That last one was just savage
  • 1 0
 The last video was awful. Buddy ran over his friends head lol
  • 1 0
 Holy shit those forks are f*cking at 1:31!
  • 1 0
 "GO FOR IT!"
  • 1 0
 was 3:18 from the 80s?
  • 1 0
 last oe was new kenevo?
  • 1 0
 Best series so far.
  • 1 1
 Concussion after concussion.
  • 1 0
 0:29, my man!
  • 1 0
 It was a good week!
  • 1 2
 Kurba! Hahaha
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