Video: HandUp Releases Jorts for Riders Who "Really Just Don’t Care"

Jul 6, 2020
by James Smurthwaite  

Press Release: HandUp

The pinnacle of Shortie Dungarees. The Hercules of Half length pants. The only clothing item in existence that says “I really just don’t care“, while simultaneously being the coolest thing in your closet... The Humble Jort. Of course, in Handup fashion these are no rigid, raw denim leg traps. We added enough flexibility to carelessly throw your leg over the saddle or even somersault into a full split. Ride, hike, mow the lawn, and DEFINITELY crack a beer in the all new limitless, Super Stretch Jorts.


Here's what makes these both a fashion statement and a go-to adventure short:

- 4-Way Super Stretch Denim, Built with limitless Comfort and Durability in mind.
- Belt loops for your stamped, Genuine Leather Belt with Bottle opener belt buckle
- Standard zipper fly
- 2 Standard back pockets for wallet, bubble gum or other valuables
- Cut to length, right above the knee
- NOTICE: Tumble Dry Low or Hang Dry

These Super Stretch Jorts can be found here: https://handupgloves.com/collections/all-bottoms. Price, $43.


96 Comments

  • 247 0
 People are really starting to care about how much they look like they don't care.
  • 46 0
 I care enough to post about how I don't care how much they care while looking like they don't care.
  • 49 0
 For real. putting this amount of effort into appearance for the sake of looking like no effort was put in sounds like someone who cares way too much.
  • 40 5
 Lol every generation does it. We had an entire genre of music called alternative.
  • 27 6
 Agree. All the "look at me" hawiian shirts from the Whistler opening just make me laugh. So Alternative, just like everyone else.
  • 34 0
 I blame transition
  • 38 0
 Being nonchalant is serious business.
  • 11 0
 Show us you actually don’t care and wear Roach shorts. We know you should have no trouble finding a pair since they never wear out. That’s what not giving AF looks like.
  • 10 2
 This is exactly how highschool works. All the cool kids want to look different while all looking the same at the same time. Or you can also call them the way I was when I was at highschool: A bunch of sheeps who think they look different.
  • 11 0
 The Aquabats called it.
  • 14 0
 @friendlyfoe: Grunge... the art of spending an hour to make yourself look like you just woke up.
  • 40 0
 I can no longer tell if the hobo riding the $11k bike stole it, has parents with money, or works in the tech industry. LOL
  • 16 5
 @AyJayDoubleyou: I'm actually a fan of the hawaina shirts I think functionality wise they work. Super breezy, and they make party laps look spectacular.
  • 1 0
 I was about to say the same thing but you said it better.
  • 1 0
 Sprezzatura in a nutshell
  • 1 0
 @Lanebobane: Feel the wrath of the Super Rad.
  • 20 0
 "You don't have to follow me, you're all individuals..." (Brian)

"Yes! We are all individuals" (Crowd of idiots)
  • 7 0
 @kcy4130: So if you are really not nonchalant, does that make you chalant?
  • 12 1
 @AyJayDoubleyou: it’s not about being alternative. It’s about celebrating opening day! They are not trying to be different, but rather enjoying what unites them.
  • 3 0
 @CircusMaximus: I second this!
  • 3 0
 @AyJayDoubleyou: sounds like you missed the memo.
  • 6 0
 @bbeak: My favorite is the opposite of disgruntled.
"How are you feeling today?"
"I'm gruntled, thanks for asking."
  • 3 0
 bro i can't really care less for what you think, in fact, i don't know what am i doing here, or who i am. What is love? Baby don't hurt me.
  • 4 0
 @enis: Lone voice somewhere lost in the crowd: "I'm not!".

Genius.
  • 1 0
 @The-BIG-GT:

"Shh... Shhhh. Shhhhh..."
  • 2 0
 @kcy4130: With HandDown ur Jorts
  • 1 0
 @friendlyfoe: what this guy above said! Smile
  • 2 0
 @lRaphl: so accurate
  • 2 0
 Welcome to the last few decades here in Olympia thanks to Evergreen State College. Amazing how much a-like so many east coast anti-fashions can look.
  • 1 0
 We call these people hipsters
  • 1 0
 @Lanebobane: Can't wait to pop a wheelie in my notes.
  • 28 0
 $40 for any shorts nowadays is pretty good.
  • 2 1
 I just got a bunch of $25 Goodthreads shorts on Amazon that have hundreds of positive reviews, in any length or style you could want.

There is one advantage to a specifically designed MTB short though (if it has this) - thicker anti-wear material in the saddle area. I've seen "cycle shorts" that didn't have this and wore quickly, and I've seen non cycle shorts that lasted forever for MTB simply because the material was thicker. The biggest issue with "Non-Cycling" shorts is they are usually too baggy and not enough stretch. Can't tell you how many shorts I've turn the crotch out of because they didn't stretch.
  • 2 0
 I don’t know. I recently got some decathlon (big sport chain in Euro) ‘all mountain’ cycling shorts for 20euro. They ok
  • 1 0
 I bought a pair of “trail” shorts at Costco for 10 dollars and they seem to work just as fine as any of my other spendy bike shorts.
  • 24 0
 Finally! Said no one
  • 2 0
 Naw there was that JortLord guy!
  • 21 0
 These will go great with my shimano sandles!
  • 8 0
 when are we getting clipless gloves???
  • 15 0
 I did spur of the moment 4 mi/800 ft ride the other day in the cut off Levi's cord shorts I happened to be wearing at the time; the swass was just about unbearable by the end of it. Performance fabrics exist for a reason...
  • 2 1
 Exactly. I cant stand all of these idiots who swear by the "my kirkland jean shorts are the best!" line. No, they aren't. Yes, most "MTB specific" items are overpriced. Look for sales, save some pennies. Its really not that bad. And yes, you are allowed to bicycle in whatever the heck you want.
  • 8 0
 Handup responding to the people's cries on $150 shorts pricing in the "10 kits" article published last week.
  • 3 1
 I'm more interested in the shirt he's wearing
  • 10 2
 Too many of you are missing your sense of humor this morning... JORTS!
  • 7 0
 I've never felt cooler shopping at Goodwill. Thanks.
  • 6 0
 I wonder if this company considered selling leg warmers in a matching style for those chilly morning rides.
  • 4 0
 target stores sell the goodfellows brand stretch jeans for $29. and you can try them on before buying.
ride them as is or cut them where you like.
  • 6 0
 No bespoke hardtail? No mustache? No obscure canned beer? Pff..amateur.
  • 2 0
 Just got a pair of oil-slicked titanium scissors specially designed for cutting the legs off of stretchy jeans for mountain bike riding. They will work for lengths from Daisy Dukes to hide my ugly knees. And you already know your pocket and zipper stats.
  • 4 0
 man that's a crap advert, he can ride his tractor to the jump but not his bike, he really don't care
  • 2 0
 Doesn‘t. Or don‘t you care either?
  • 5 0
 Way too much bro bra bru.
  • 1 0
 This isn't even new, cut off jeans permanently hemmed to look just a little frayed have been around a few cycles since at least the 80s. Although in the 80s jeans were generally not stretch and worn a bit tight to be great for riding
  • 4 0
 The best thing is if you go to the web link it says in bold:
"Hand Up All Bottoms"
Not my bag baby.
  • 3 1
 lol wtf. Gotta buy a kit to show you don't care? I'm cool shredding in surf shorts. Wicks the sweat pretty good too.... Don't need a belt...or a buckle. I can spark a doobie or crack a brew with my lighter.
  • 3 0
 Came here expecting to say "Spending $100 on shorts is a funny way to show you don't care", but $43, heck, that's actually pretty reasonable.
  • 1 0
 40 bucks for stretchy jorts? Shit I’d buy a pair given they’re probably more durable then regular ones. And would probably just wear them outside biking.

The for those who just don’t care...that’s cringe ad placement for sure.
  • 4 0
 Funny vid, reminds me of home (knoxvegas)
  • 2 0
 Knoxvegas is always there...waiting. Beer
  • 4 2
 This is almost as bad as buying a new t-shirt that says "Dirtbag Life" on it. I don't understand the fascination of buying new clothes with the intention of looking "poor"
  • 4 2
 If by lesbian rugby players you mean the group of chicks who are going to beat the sh!t out of you if they see you in these. Then that's pretty cool.
  • 1 0
 Beating people up is no good
  • 7 2
 God I hate millenials..
  • 3 0
 Straight from C.H.O.P comes....
  • 3 0
 So flannel is out and Hawaiian print is in?
  • 3 0
 Winter versus summer
  • 2 0
 Lets take this to the next level of not caring and put shart stains on the butt. Shart your jorts why don't ya?
  • 4 1
 Chicks dig the jorts.
  • 16 3
 If by chicks you mean lesbian rugby players, then you are correct sir.
  • 1 1
 @Lemke: Haha. Good one.
  • 2 0
 Ahhh MTB marketing never fails to impress.
  • 2 0
 All the haters on here can eat my Jorts!!! At $40, I'll take two pair!!
  • 2 0
 Walmart has stretchy jorts for 13 dollars????‍♀️
  • 1 0
 The @jortlord already tried this but he seemed to care what people thought way too much ...
  • 2 0
 Not for the first time this year: *checks date
  • 2 0
 Would go well with Shimano's SPD sandals.
  • 2 0
 The emperor's new jorts Posers.
  • 1 0
 That thumbnail on the front page looked like a risky click viewed on a phone!
  • 1 0
 jort's are what happens to pants when the bottoms wear out. not this.
  • 1 0
 I thought it said, "JARTS". Now there's a sport in need of a comeback.
  • 1 0
 A few months late for April Fools?
  • 1 0
 I literally just said out loud: what the f*ck just happened?
  • 1 0
 These are made for like 2 bucks...no thanks
  • 1 0
 For $40 these will go great with my mullet
  • 1 0
 if you really just don't care then don't buy...
  • 1 0
 Would never buy them but not offended by them Big Grin
  • 1 0
 Can I get a 32 inch inseam for $50? If so I’m in.
  • 1 0
 You had us at lawnmower
  • 1 4
 Hey PinkBike(to whoever write this article) , does it hard to insert click me link instead of the URL to copy and paste in browser, I literally spent 20 second only to go to the product website, rather then instantly move?
  • 8 0
 It does hard me literally clink lick, instantly 20s whoever UR
  • 1 0
 You don't right click 'go to' like the rest of us dude?
  • 1 1
 & nice bike
  • 3 5
 Go f*** yourselves.
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