Video: Is This the Ultimate Bike Washing Machine?

Jun 24, 2020
by James Smurthwaite  

bigquotesThe worlds most ridiculous bike wash is complete and it actually works! Homemade custom bike wash for any bike! It's crazy!

Welcome back to the final piece of the puzzle, the giant rotating bike wash! I've never built one of these before and I'm pretty sure not many other people have....but its a fully rotating cylindrical water spraying pre-cleaning bike washer plus other contraptions!

To be fair my bike was clean before I built this, onwards and upwards! haha!
King of Spades


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89 Comments

  • 113 4
 No way can instant Nescafe be classed as "coffee"... It's closer to hot used dirty dish water than coffee....
  • 16 1
 I think of it as coffee flavoured water. Not good.
  • 6 1
 I call bad coffee, brown flavored hot water. Bad coffee does not deserve to use the word coffee.
  • 2 5
 But have you tried the cookie caramel flavour? Delicious!
  • 13 0
 Whatever came off the bike wash is closer to coffee.
  • 10 1
 If you made coffee like that anywhere from San Francisco to Vancouver BC you would be arrested.....
  • 7 0
 @RadBartTaylor: sounds like another good reason to move to that area!!
  • 3 0
 I just drink black No Name™ coffee. Pretty much brown water with caffeine. It does cost less for 2 weeks of morning coffees than a single cup at a coffee shop.
  • 11 0
 @rmclarke: there are a few things in life worth spending money on. Included are good coffee, bikes, and beer!
  • 3 0
 I like to refer to it as 'bogan' dust...
  • 2 4
 I’d choose Nescafé over a French cafe’ au lait. That’s milky burnt concoction tastes like a burnt cats piss
  • 7 4
 Coffee should not be mixed with milk. Thats like ebiking - still riding, but with a sidetaste.
  • 2 0
 Mmmm... Nescrape!
  • 1 1
 Nescafé in hot milk is the instant latte fix you’ve never tried, really common in countries where whole beans are less common. I drank this ^ in West Africa, it’s good stuff, esp when the alternative is tea.
  • 1 0
 Jesus, red top milk as well. Guy's a savage.
  • 1 0
 @cb7: I get my caffeine from it and that's all I require. Slam er back and get on with my day. Rather spend money on other things.
  • 102 2
 The video could do with being about 12 minutes shorter.
  • 67 0
 If ever you wanted a working example of how the lockdown has affected mental health, this is it!
  • 47 1
 I can’t quite make out if this guy is really smart or really stupid
  • 13 0
 Both
  • 3 0
 He is charge of creative direction at Woburn dirt jumps. Big builder. Doesn’t really answer your question though
  • 5 1
 if it's work , it's not stupid
  • 6 0
 Smapid
  • 4 0
 @km79: Stuart ????
  • 39 8
 What a waste of my time.
  • 18 10
 Probably shouldn't have watched it then champ!
  • 24 0
 If Claudio Caluori and Danny Hart has a love child it would grow up to sound like the guy in this video! Bloody hell that was painful to watch...
  • 7 0
 Agree, watched it mute cuz it was too much.
  • 23 1
 don´t want to sound boring... but all that soap flowing to the ground and inside.. all that wasted water.. for 12 minutes of "bah" video.. bah..
  • 14 0
 I suggest you never watch the movie Waterworld.
  • 3 0
 @km79: LOL Big Grin
  • 4 0
 I was really hoping the bike was going to be spinning around like mad.
  • 18 0
 This video shows what can be done with time and money. But it also hints that some people should have a lot, a lot, less of both time and money
  • 17 0
 Check his instagram, dude is an artist when it comes to building dirt jumps.
www.instagram.com/kiing_of_spades
  • 2 0
 Wow, those are clean looking.
  • 1 0
 Damn, that effing art!
  • 13 0
 Wash the f*ck is this
  • 12 0
 well, that was just awful.
  • 11 0
 I think he needs a little less *cough* 'sugar' in his 'coffee'....
  • 4 1
 And less instant coffee, and more real coffee
  • 1 1
 ( @kikouman ) Sugar and milk in instant coffee. Coffee is black expresso, as the point is not to enjoy you coffee, no... The point is to...
  • 1 2
 SUFFEEEER
  • 4 0
 @fracasnoxteam: I don't know about you but I truly enjoy black espresso...
  • 1 0
 @blkmrktrider156: What you did there, I see it Wink
  • 1 0
 @blkmrktrider156: I do. Italian ristretto is a bomb
  • 9 2
 This is... incredible. His frantic energy makes me so uncomfortable in the most wonderful way. This isn't a video about bike washing; it's a video about what it's like to have ADD and to get the right amount of stimulant to finally focus your entire energy on one thing but it's something completely ridiculous, you're powerless to rechannel it into anything more productive, and you're just glad to be along for the ride.
  • 10 0
 That ain’t coffee.
  • 2 10
flag mudcycles (Jun 24, 2020 at 4:39) (Below Threshold)
 True. But I'd still take it over German coffee.
  • 13 4
 what a waste of water.
  • 7 0
 I'm honestly not sure if this is an impressive work of engineering, or a desperate cry for psychological help? Crack on...
  • 1 1
 Both actually. He’s always been full of energy & loving life.
Your shitty comment ain’t gonna change that.
  • 1 0
 @Harlequinn27: Well that's great to know, I'm sure he appreciates you swooping in to protect him from my vicious comments, on this serious piece of cinematic art.
  • 10 2
 More annoying than Levy!
  • 4 0
 Ouch
  • 3 0
 Sorry NOTHING is more annoying than Levy.
  • 6 0
 2020 and this dude is still drinking instant coffee and wasting 10 plastic bottles like it's going out of fashion.
  • 4 0
 OMG I was thinking this would end up being on of these cool gadgets that could be installed at trail parks... unfortunately, it is an utter waste of water and I highly doubt anything gets cleaned in the first place...
  • 8 0
 stay out of drugs kids
  • 6 1
 FYI dishwashing soap is probably the worst thing you can use to wash your bike. Do not try this at home Wink
  • 4 0
 Crap, I use dish soup all the time.
  • 2 0
 Oh shjt me too. Is it because it's a de-greaser? What's a cheap skate to do?
  • 1 1
 @mobiller: It basically strips off any sort of paint protection (not like vinyl or PPC) you already have. IF you don't have any sort of paint protection it doesn't really matter.
  • 2 1
 The salts in it degrade seals
  • 7 0
 @joshdodd: but how do they live in the sea then?
  • 2 0
 @Dropthedebt: boom boom, quality!
  • 4 0
 i fast scrolled this vid i watched for a 10 second total cant stand this shit cant stand the slo mo soap bottle squirt ans the blah blah
  • 4 0
 Whilst the video was technically free to watch, I feel like I should be entitled to some kind of financial compensation having been forced to waste 12 minutes on that.
  • 5 0
 It doesn't tumble dry? He had 12 minutes!
  • 1 0
 Front loaders are more gentle on fabrics, so I would suppose that the same would be found for bikes. I know the top loading agitator-type washers are favored by some who believe that they clean more thoroughly than front loaders, but they would be problematic as bike washers.
  • 2 1
 Your missing the point.
This video is about building something random and seeing if it works. Which it did.
This guy is the MOST humble human! Everyone who knows him up Woburn knows this. We all know what a great guy he is.

If you found the video uninteresting then just don’t watch any in future. All this negativity is just disgusting.
As for the coffee.. it’s called Nescafé & it’s what regular working class humans drink.. pretty normal for most people to be honest.

Anyway- KIING OF SPADES, wicked video as always & your always full of energy & just having a laugh and not taking anything too seriously.
If he was to read these comments I don’t even know how he’d feel to be honest.
I think you should all get a reality check and see the INSANE things this guy builds up at Woburn before you start commenting about someone you don’t know.
Internet trolls.... gross.
  • 4 0
 fairy liquid an mud in his eyes...that mans a genius.
  • 4 1
 Didnt expect the comments to be so mixed! I think people are more angry about the Coffee than any other part of the video.
  • 3 0
 Maybe a teenager finds this funny but my guess would be that adults just find it cringe AF.
  • 3 1
 ha ha, awesome. No wonder FA grows in that corner of the garden, the 6 gallon of washing up liquid has seen to that:-)
  • 4 0
 That made my head hurt.
  • 1 0
 1) from 6:30 to 7:30: should the kids be watching this*?
2) he reminds me of Mister Bean

*seems like he has a vaguely inappropriate soap fetish
  • 2 0
 Does it have a spin dry cycle?
  • 2 0
 sounds like im down in whistler
  • 1 0
 Washing bikes seems like a bad idea unless you don't have a storage location where dirt can be dropped.
  • 2 0
 Life is too short for skimmed milk.
  • 1 0
 Missed a trick with the music...

youtu.be/bffHSQy4hmw
  • 1 0
 Human size cat exercise wheel.
  • 1 0
 Well we were put on this planet to suffer I guess
  • 1 0
 I thought it was very entertaining.
  • 2 2
 Ha ha, if this was made by a world cup racer people would be loving it.
  • 1 0
 RIP bearings.
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