WAKi-Leaks Installment 8 - Mental Side of MTB

Nov 21, 2014
by Troll Troll  
It's been a while since I wrote an article and that was mostly due to the fact of how depressed I got after the Eurobike trade show. One thing is to come up with a ridiculous idea, but the other is to make it a reality; now, what is really terrifying is when it is put into production. The latest Eurobike coverage from PB with commentary from Dave Trump made Waki Leaks unnecessary. I felt useless and I needed to see a doctor about it. I did some research and found para-psychologist, Professor Sigmund von Schadenfreud from Basil, Switzerland who specializes in sport psychology in cycling. The two month therapy session was so soothing and enlightening that I decided to interview him in case anyone would like to take a deeper look at his passion.

Waki leaks goes mental

Hello Herr Professor, Can you tell us something about your background?
I used to work with the Swiss national cycling team, we helped many riders reach their mental optimum before races, including Daunhill team in the early 2000's. I soon realized that if we can be so successful with professional racers, we can also help amateurs who are very passionate about the sport, but many obstacles in every day life keep them from being better riders and more fulfilled human beings - and that was before smart phones were available.

Why MTB?
Mountain biking is a sport where human factor is absolutely dominating yet there are many gadgets available that steal our focus and take it away from what really matters: skill and both physical and mental training. Bikes have become so good these days that it is very easy to enjoy a thrilling ride without breaking a neck or dehydrating yourself, especially now, with those electric bikes. We have limited ability to focus and limited time on this earth, also trusting technology strengthens our minority complex. It's like Sauron and his ring of power, he put all his energy into it, and so do we with titanium, carbon or Kashima. Once complex is given enough power it starts to live a life of its own. It can eventually possess a person so that he puts his bike on the weight scale time after time again. There are archetypes that possess people who tinker too much into technology, they even get names of mystical creatures.

Waki leaks goes mental

What are those mystical creatures?
There are many: Pedal Bob, Brake Jack, Stiction. They haunt minds of riders who bought more than one full suspension bike, they can be very naughty and cause many arguments on the internet, ruin personal economies, devour any amount of time for researching which component is the most sensible choice. In my practice as a para-psychologist I have found good ways of curing those issues. One thing I am sure is that getting back to a rigid bike with cantilevers does not help, it is a hipster move that will just create a yo-yo effect and an even longer therapy might be needed.

What does the therapy look like?
Pedal Bob, a ghost of a fat man, usually attacks people who study suspension effectively and put a lot of trust into their Granny ring. I recommend strength training and switching to harder gears. It usually scares him away. The worst symptom of having a Pedal Bob is overuse of lockout, often seen among MTB Marathon cyclists. Enduro riders tend to suffer from Pedal Kick given by Pedal Bob. There used to be a legend that VPP suspension designs summon that effect.

Waki leaks goes mental

Brake Jack is also a nasty spirit, it locks certain suspension systems turning a bike into a virtual hardtail. The classical exorcism in that case is to teach the haunted person to brake in right spots, like not in corners, not on roots or rocks, scan the trail to find, as we call it, braking carpets. That allows for the suspension to absorb hits. Those exorcisms if practised well over longer periods of time can free riders from the influence of Brake Jack. If a haunted person won't do therapy than they may install a floating brake device, which is hideous.

Waki leaks goes mental

Damme Stiction - The wraith, ghost of a woman that haunts and possess riders testing suspension in parking lots. It links directly to animal, female part of man's psyche, making men very sensitive to the smallest bumps. This is a particularly bad one because the cure is very risky - The only way to get rid of her is to ride fast. Some of the best advice in that subject has been given by Brendan Fairclough - set your suspension hard as f* and ride faster and faster until it feels good.

Parking lot haunting

Does size matter Herr Professor?
It depends on a person and on a trail, but as with everything that Carl Jung taught us: the point is to stay on balance, and for it many things must come together, we cannot isolate one or two factors and judge a bike's ability to boost our performance based on head angle or wheel size.

Clinic with skills

Internet fights, why do they happen so often?
People love bikes, they would kill to be able to ride everyday, but the reality of life does not allow it, you have to earn money to pay bills and send children to school. This is how this civilisation works, no matter what PRO riders say in emotional confessions. They can make a living from riding because people at desks buy products they are advertising. We may get so into virtual mountain biking that we may eventually believe that the only way to be a happy person is to become a pro rider, anything else is a weakness. All that longing, watching sick edits traps energy which then gets released on the internet, sometimes in the form of angry shadow projection. Men project their deepest complexes on their online adversaries and the longer the argument the more they accuse the others of their own traits. It's counter intuitive to realize that once the energy is there, it can be used for anything bike related, like training in the gym, nagging your wife or boss to let you go biking. The Internet is just too much of an accessible sink for it.

Any final thoughts Herr Professor?
To the light hearted: according to the concept of duality, mountain biking, just like any other thing that we get passionate about, releases the best as well as the worst of us, so don't bypass it by saying it's all about fun. Then to geeks: gaining knowledge in some subject is useless if we can't use it in reality, everyone's heard about looking ahead when riding a bike, but how many practice that? Learning how to dial the shim stack in your fork and shock won't help if you can't ride balanced and weigh parts of the bike according to a situation on the trail. Go out and ride as often as you can but don't just ride, practice as well. To all: it is extremely important to understand that marketing only exploits our inner fears and complexes, hype is something we do to ourselves.

WAKi: Thank you!

- My pleasure and arguably yours,
Wacek Kipszak – Waki
Waki on Facebook

Previous Instalments:
Installment#1 Sheman-OH SaintEN
Installment#2 Sheman-OH Xtroll
Installment#3 SPAM XE1l
Installment#4 Spirit of Enduro
Installment#5 2x2 Zoopa Drive
Installment#6 Trike Aero-kit
Installment#7 Non Electronic Suspension

Disclaimer: This article is meant to be a satire. My very intention with it is to entertain you and eventually provide some food for reflection in case we treat our sport a bit too seriously. I honestly do not wish to insult or harm anyone or any company. Eventual resemblance to persons, names and places might be coincidental. Professor Sigmund von Schadenfreud does not exist.

Mentions: @WAKIdesigns

Author Info:
WAKIdesigns avatar

Member since Apr 20, 2009
41 articles

  • 160 3
 What on the face of it looks like just a well illustrated piece of satire, has captured perfectly what is wrong with a large percent of people in general, not just MTBers. This is semi-genius Waki. Also, let's not forget, this isn't even Waki's first language, very clever buddy!
  • 33 22
 in true waki style he will always spoil any good opinion he may create through what are often clever observations by later posting some of the dumbest deluded comments ever posted on pinkbike. @waki what are you all about?
  • 4 0
 I agree. I think I witnessed a couple of these examples. Great read. Thanks.
  • 7 0
 Couldn't agree more with these points of view. I do love to read the @waki articles. However some of the comments aren't as well put. Really like the comments on Stiction....ride faster- It's that simple.
  • 2 13
flag chyu (Nov 21, 2014 at 11:31) (Below Threshold)
 that's the reason Noah has to build an ark.
  • 7 1
 Much like others here, I don't always agree with you, BUT, that was a bloody good read Waki, for that I thankyou.
  • 8 6
 Millhouse1050 - it is freaking advised to disagree hahaha Big Grin As sad as is it just entertains me, unfortunately at the cost of you guys.
  • 4 0
 I disagree, totally.
  • 28 6
 Just pull out Hitler card as soon as an argument gets too long. Godwins law is a hoax - there is no reputation "on the internet", there is no point in winning any argument, nobody really gives a damn, everyone knows deep inside that it's just a game of showing dicks. I was once given a great piece of advice: stuff on internet is like sht eating fly - even though it can be extremely irritating while it buzes around your head, it lives max 3 days. only idiots try to revive it.
  • 2 0
 Fly analogy- I like it :-)
  • 1 0
 and internet blogs are like graffiti with punctuation...
  • 32 3
 Not an absolute statement but obviously a subjective opinion: I liked this one a lot, more than any other you wrote so far.
But, you really have a problem with Joe Graney / VPP / SC and it might be time for you to start a GIANT and INTENSE (ironic isn't it?) therapy to chase that EVIL out of your mind. You really FOCUS too much on that and it might feel like a huge CANYON gap standing in front of you but once over it, you won't understand anymore how it FELT to have such YETI chasing you. Make the TRANSITION Waki. Stop living with ZUMBIs around you.
  • 8 0
 Very nice. The PB puns have been entertaining and yours are really quite good
  • 15 5
 Enduromaniac - Your post like my current FS bike is a bit of a blur. Therefore I am not sure whether you mean something deeper or believe that I am just a heckler disliking Santa Cruz Bikes.
  • 3 10
flag visser62 (Nov 21, 2014 at 10:44) (Below Threshold)
  • 24 3
 Violence is an expression of sexual frustration. Internet warfare is a result if bicyxual frustration. Waki you continue to be by favorite European.
  • 20 0
 If violence is an expression of sexual frustration
Then I should be a f***ing Psychopath !!!!!!
  • 18 0
 Waki Waki...Put the pipe down man!
  • 5 2
 ..and go get advice...
  • 14 0
 The Damme Stiction is my favourite. Some of the best advice in that subject has been given by Brendan Fairclough - set your suspension hard as f* and ride faster and faster until it feels good.
  • 15 1
 This guy get props galore, both positive and negative. this piece should be all + props by all viewers. Best thing I have seen on PB IMO. Thanks Waki.
  • 10 0
 I was devastated when you said Professor Sigmund von Schadenfreud does not exist! First Santa now him!. Frown
  • 1 1
 It came from a german word Schadenfreude = Glee
  • 10 0
 Schadenfreude is not glee. it is the act of taking pleasure from someone else's misfortune or pain. Many a comedian has used it to get stinking rich.
  • 2 0
 Astute, foghorn! I believe the literal translation is something like "shameful joy"
  • 12 0
 Sounds like last night.....
  • 2 1
 Schadenfreude is taking pleasure from someone else's well-deserved misfortune and pain. Think of laughing when karma catches up to someone -- that's schadenfreude. Wink

Very clever, @WAKIdesigns... Very clever, indeed.
  • 8 1
 Awesome article again waki, in fact probably.my favorite work of yours yet, thanks!
  • 3 0
 " Mental side of MtB"

Mental tick its what was always about..

The rest is just everyone trying to be cool tough popular, trendy, whatever,

Mtb was about escaping that and taking risks away from the collective borgand drones of society unfortunatley they want mtb as well and want to assimlate all that is different challenging and unique, nice spin on it Waki and entertaining as usual keep up the Waki werkz!
  • 5 2
 Hahah thanks for the Eurobike shoutout @WAKIdesigns. It was my first time and would have needed an intervention had I not attended World Champs the following week where I was reminded that 99% of virtual mountainbiking doesn't exist in the real world ;-)
  • 10 3
 Then we missed a chance to have a beer while pouring sneery venom from our mouths. My kids were sick and I couldn't come, it was a tough feeling in my gut to drive around Goteborg and see the team trucks and vans driving up north. I had one of the best laughs thanks to your article. "I never heard of that young man but apparently he is larger than life on UVEX booth", uuhhh that was sharp hahaha
  • 6 1
 @wakidesigns that one sailed right over the heads of more than a few people. Glad a select few "got it".
  • 2 0
 Wasted hundreds of hours of googling to learn about suspension. Should have traveled to the future and read this article first. Oh the wonderful things I could have learnt and seen with those hundreds of wasted internet hours....
  • 4 2
 i didn't know these waki links existed-too funny. now i'm gonna waste an hour or 2 binge reading the last 9-10 installments. nice work waki! you've managed to put mauritania on the map for me.
  • 7 1
 Needs more super-ego
  • 3 1
 Holy pierogies Waki.

He's not only saying and writing what people are thinking but illustrating it and putting thoughts into a story. You are a mad mad man. 10+ props.
  • 1 0
 The mental side of MTB is interesting but depression is real & blinds you from the fact that getting out riding on any bike is great
Being spoiled for choice is just more confusing?
  • 4 2
 You can read my thoughts. But it is the projections on mountain biking that put me into that state. In my current situation: small kids, job, marital situation. regional weather it is just killing me. It is better to drop it. My tests just came and I may as well work on my deficit of vitamine D
  • 6 3
 Ahhh, being spoiled for choice is an absolute nailer. If you add becoming fully conscious of duality, sht goes flying. What you need now is a fan in form of high ambitions. All energy is wasted on anxiety caused by indecision what to do with that energy. Fun!
  • 3 0
 You guys should read "The Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz. It's a very interesting book claiming that contrary to popular belief (a belief that we see here all the time), choice is often detrimental to the consumer. Reading it really changed my habits as a consumer. If you don't have time for books, here's a ted talk that glosses over some topics in the book: www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice
  • 5 0
 In the same boat here...lost my job a few weeks ago, now at home most of the time with 2 small kids, and the weather is much too nice for this time of year (we are in a 3 year drought, and if little/no snow falls I won't be able to get my winter skiing fix). The vitamin D helps...most adults are low. I took 1000iu daily for several weeks to get my numbers up, then about once weekly to maintain. Feel much better now. Riding also helps (any exercise, really), but it quickly degenerates into the typical conflict with family obligations if done too often. And "too often" is completely at the interpretation of one's partner, regardless of how great they may be.
  • 2 0
 This snow season my therapy will be a Rocky Mountain Blizzard. Rocky Mountain Blizzard - sounds like ice cream - ice cream makes me happy so...
  • 3 1
 This is the first MTB article that really makes a point. And my first positive feedback. I applaude you! Keep up the awesome writing!
  • 1 0
 Really nice drawing. Sometimes we just need to tell some words in loud or read a article like that to remember us about what really counts and what is boring our rides. Thanks Waki!
  • 6 2
 you guys are easily pleased....
  • 3 1
 "Set your suspension hard as f* and ride faster and faster until it feels good."
Best advice ever!!!
  • 5 2
 Well done Waki. Thoroughly enjoyable
  • 1 0
 It's because of Pedal Bobs that our bikes come with handlebars cluttered in remote levers and travel adjusting mechanisms that eventually fail.
  • 3 1
 cue tumbleweed prop..................and.........go
  • 5 4
 waki leaks is an incredible artist, but his incessant comments on pinkbike threads show that he is literally incredible.
  • 1 0
 Shit I'm a hipster who will get the yo-yo effect. Got them v-brakes though.
  • 2 0
 Awesome article, I enjoyed reading it tup
  • 2 1
 philosophical read on PB, wow, way to spend friday eveneing
  • 3 2
 Creative Waki-wisdom, and nice drawings.
  • 1 0
 Am I one of the few that agree with waki pretty consistently. Good read.
  • 1 0
 This is the wackiest bike site on the web! I LIKE!
  • 2 1
 nice drawings
  • 1 0
 so true
  • 2 1
 bro ur blogging hard
  • 2 2
 That was amazing, take heed people. take heed.
  • 1 0
  • 1 0
Below threshold threads are hidden

Copyright © 2000 - 2023. Pinkbike.com. All rights reserved.
dv65 0.046572
Mobile Version of Website