[April Fools] Ground Keeper Introduces the Secret Keeper

PRESS RELEASE: Ground Keeper Custom

In a world where it seems everyone and their grandma are becoming mountain bike influencers, how can you truly set yourself apart and garner that desperately-needed social stardom without actually improving your riding? The answer is easy... make your friends and the internet think you're a big-deal skunkworks shredder by tricking them into believing you're riding prototype products.

Introducing the Secret Keeper. This revolutionary linkage garment transforms your outdated and boring suspension platform into a super-secret prototype in a matter of seconds. We all know spy shots of new bikes covered up with fancy nylon socks get the most clicks on your bicycle media site of choice, so why not direct some of that traffic to yourself as well? We can picture the comments now... "Whoa, who's that person riding that prototype bike? They must be a big deal - I should follow them on social media."

These pixelated images were recently leaked from @shredderboy42069, who grew his Instagram following from 394 followers to a whopping 42K overnight.

Our patent-pending linkage sock utilizes the latest in prototype concealing technology. Integrated radio jammers throw off just about all camera sensors, meaning any photos taken, look like they were shot on a flip phone from 2004, further increasing speculation and engagement. The Secret Keeper is also made from a 3D-printed titanium-infused polymer locked to the frame using a biometric sensor, meaning it's virtually impossible to rip or tear in the event a sleuth tries to take a closer look. Lastly, the Secret Keeper is available in any of the existing Ground Keeper designs, so whether you're looking to attract attention with Oil Slick or keep on the down low with Half-Tone Camo, we've got you covered.

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MENTIONS: @groundkeepercustom

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