Bombhole of scooter eating manlieness

Its that time of the month again and im going to give you all another mega update (due to the megga digging i have been doing as i like doing shit like that)


also im working on my boydesque writeup so expect more randomness.


BUT FIRST

DH Moose AKA Will is purely an epic lad. He has now contributed to the trails by donating one of these awesome army poncho thingy. and well anyone hwo is in the facebook clubhaus will know just how obsessed i am with this shit, i mean you need one of these (ore something similar) in your life more than you need some shitty ass playstation game (as they turn your eyes square and everyone knows round is better as they make bicycle wheels round). And you definitely need one more than some soul draining shit ass scoooter breeding skatepark. so Give it up people for the one the only DHMoose, who is serving for the british army currently and deserves huge respects, Anyway thats my thanks done, now onto the trails (without sounding like i have moved on as that poncho is the nuts, no shadow of a lie i used it as a pillow the other night. and i carry it everywhere (as i am bear grylls, not rowe grylls the local park rat trails whore))

So the thing i have been going on about the one the only (insert super secret name here) trails poncho




Ok, so what you might have noticed above was this crazy ass shit transfer that we have now built that is plateud, epic and scary ass shit that i am yet to hit, anyway yeah so this shit is nuts proper trails shit, look below and you can see some of this tasty dirt (*actually dirt isnt so great, i once ate some dirt and my vomit was black, not good people)

landing


bumbhole


lip (which is a floater so i win the floater last battle thats just plain awesome and its also a transfer so double win, but shhhhh dont tell them or it will be gone faster than usane bolt with the runs (chasing a chicken nugget on a stick)



to do the transfer you go left right to right landing left landing, or left to right, but that is ass, so if you want to be more trails than a dirty stacked dude with a beard then you have to go from right to left whilst screaming please mind the gap as there is a cap and we are all a bit funny in the head due to lack of socializing with people (though my mate johnny the deer has some interesting storied to tell about the day he walked into a wire noose (all will make sense shortly)



going back a bit this is rowe gryls, the super epic outdoorsy person who can do anything with wire and thinks he is an outdoors nutter ( i kid it was one conversation he will never live down where he claimed he could catch a deer with some wire and a stick, neglecting to remember the wilderness isnt made of wire) also he is our enslaved park rat who we force to dig...



Ok right, so as I am a nutter I decided to spray my sprocket black as its more trails and I am not a racist, and black looks stealth as shit and is all cammo with the dappled shadows of trails. Anyway I had the sprocket baking in the oven (with the chicken) and I went down the trails, little did I know an epic sesh was occurring, so instead of just f*cking off home I decided to go nuts with the shovel and dig the second from last steeper than any skatepark bullshit, so I went a little nuts. Now the next day we were digging this landing, but everyone f*cked off mid day, especially one bumer who had to go hang about with bendover for sports relief n ting (this has lead to many porn based discussions down the trails since, and It has most definitely made things more interesting). Anyway yeah so we have erm, where was I, oh yeah so we have this landing half done and everyone f*cks off, leaving me alone with the digging hoe, 5 hours of madness entails, and I dig some mega trench straight through this shit so the landing is vert and the bombhole, well it is now a mother f*cking monster capable of swallowing scooter kids whole (something that is normally limited to obese women of America). Yeah, so the other dudes get down and find my nuttyness, and lets just say they are less than impressed, so one nutter decided to pedal scrape hiw ay through the trench t test the unfinished f*cker, and well… he snapped his headset. I mean what the f*ck right? Yeah so this shit just snapped, and he was raged, but anyway yeah now we have this f*cker of a step up and one tasty ass landing that when you land on you go wooooooooooooooo uncontrollably like a horse riding a bull. MMMMMM red bull gives you wings, so fun, but lips also make you fly, red bull + lips make you into like a rocket capable of jumping well super high so you need ground clearance ect.


4 ft deep bombhole of manlyness and scooter eating goodness (if they dare venture into the deep dark woods where we lurk, also no im too young to be a pedo and the winy face dint help, but anyway im just joking)


that then leads to the headset snapping f*cker than never wanted to run, but we made it run, anyway yeah tis is what the lip looks like, but obviously not finished yet as the sides are weird, but yeah its fun, also the bike above was for proportions as i had packed teh shovels away


here is one of the gays from my last post on his phone (everybody looks angry)


now its just riding shots, and i am too bored to type, your probably too tired to read, so you know... enjoy

this it the bumer




and rowe grylls