NS Bikes Introduces Radical New Geometry for Mountain Bikes

Apr 1, 2015 at 4:55
by NS Bikes  

The trend for longer front triangles has become more and more pronounced in the last few seasons.

Some brands have stretched the reach of their bikes so far that zero-offset stems were necessary to put the rider in the correct position. However at NS we discovered that there is still much more potential and we have introduced our patent pending Drastically Opposed Negative Geometry (D.O.N.G.).

NS Bikes Snabb with patented Drastically Opposed Negative Geometry D.O.N.G. .

After various lab and field tests, we found that adding even more length to the front triangle, and at the same time using a special stem with negative reach, riders will improve climbing efficiency (by 14.31%) and descending speeds (by up to 18.85%). This groundbreaking technology will be introduced in all 2016 bikes.

NS Bikes Snabb with patented Drastically Opposed Negative Geometry D.O.N.G. .

For more information about Snabb visitnsbikes.com/snabb.
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134 Comments

  • + 428
 So... if I reverse a 100mm stem, does that mean I have a long D.O.N.G?
  • + 135
 *Slow Clap*
  • + 60
 A 100 mm D.O.N.G., anyway, Thustlewhumber. .. Hang around a high school and maybe someone might find that long
  • - 17
flag benbikin (Apr 1, 2015 at 7:29) (Below Threshold)
 Best comment on Pink Bike. hahah
  • + 53
 The average dong is actually 160mm.
  • + 14
 I stand corrected. Heavier duty DONGs meant to be ridden harder are usually 160mm though...
  • + 24
 the sad part is , ive seen someone try this :Facepalm :
  • + 44
 Ahh April 1, my favorite day on PB
  • - 1
 Still only 4 inches bra
  • - 66
flag freeride-forever (Apr 1, 2015 at 11:17) (Below Threshold)
 Wow, thanks zede, that explains why that one girl was so scared when I pulled my gun out the holster. I always thought somewhere above 6" was about average. No wonder she was scared of 7". O.O

It has it's drawbacks though. Sometimes it's hard to get buried balls deep, bottoming out too soon. :/ a*sholes actually seem roomier though, LOL. Well depending on what else is in there. Razz
  • + 2
 And you'll probably want to change your nick to something more relevant. Thustlewhammer per say...
  • + 0
 width is better than length sl the chicks say, so youd need to add atleast the new old 35mm std to that reverse dong and the youd be greater than average, dong dong!
  • - 1
 a href="http://imgur.com/QB5ovnP">Called it./a>
  • + 2
 @zede

I thought that was an April fools article until I saw it was from weeks ago and a compilation of 17 studies with n=15,000+ clinician and not self reported samples. I always thought girls just told all guys it's the biggest they've ever seen. Thanks for the ego boost.
  • + 8
 April 2nd here jokes on you PB!
  • - 1
 No, 100mm is not a long dong.
  • - 4
flag artzicat1 (Apr 2, 2015 at 7:11) (Below Threshold)
 A VERY VERY SLOW CLAP
  • + 2
 How about a tandem version called Double Dong?
  • + 3
 @DrPete 160mm that is an Enduro DONG...
  • + 1
 It's not the size of your D.O.N.G that matters, but how you use it.
  • + 1
 Nobody makes movies of 100mm DONGs.
  • + 42
 apparently its a good way to learn to manual if you can't already..... www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RGHQMCWCsc
  • + 2
 That video was wicked! hhhhahahha
  • + 40
 Here is a higher quality version of that video www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
  • + 7
 dQw4 on the url of a youtube video? I dont need to click it to know where it goes haha
  • + 2
 that was the best manual how to I've ever seen.
  • + 16
 Actually, a negative-length D.O.N.G. has a different acronym for Very Agressive Geometry.
  • + 9
 Nothing like being Rick Rolled on April Fools.
  • + 43
 Looks Like a mondraker
  • + 5
 It's a nsraker sanddune
  • + 1
 MONGdraker heheheheee
  • + 21
 This is april foolish, but don't even think this might not be close to reality in a couple of years. What's "right" is subjective. Hell, the penny farthing was cutting edge once.
  • + 21
 i you have ever ridden a bike with a backwards stem on it, you will never try it again haha its the worst thing since 29'' boosthubbed electric fatbikes
  • - 1
 Mate, a 29" boosthubbed electric fatbike - That's a thing of nightmares!! If I ever see one of those on the trails, it's being shoulder barged into the bushes
  • + 5
 @hutchJR it does sound horrendous.
  • + 17
 If you've ever been a mechanic at a bike shop, you know this 'modification' has been performed many times before, then brought in for us to 'fix' whatever is causing the bike to ride weird.
  • + 22
 This and backwards Manitous.

The soul destroying thing was; that the forks were put on backwards by one of our previous "mechanics"! *facepalm*
  • + 4
 Ah yes, the backwards Manitou. Sport Check carried ironhorse up here for a bit and I saw dozens of backwards forks on display. Facepalm indeed.
  • + 4
 At our local bikeswap, one of the booths run by a "shop" had a fatbike with a rigid fork installed backwards. (shop is in quotation marks because it was a Bookman's. So kinda not a real shop. but still.)
  • + 2
 I find the backward fork the most common one to roll into our shop... Lol
  • + 4
 I saw backwards Manitou forks on brand new bikes in the shop¨! Wink
  • + 14
 is it strange that these April fools on here would be hard to distinguish from production products because of how screwed up the bike industry is.
  • + 10
 Nice, and later today SRAM will announce they have designed a brake that doesn't gobble like a Turkey the day before ThanksgivingSmile
  • + 8
 These would be even funnier if they did't spell out the acronyms for us - let us figure out the HOPE hub and the NS bike acronyms to discover the utter foolishness... Yes, I just critiqued the quality of humor.
  • + 5
 In their next release, they will get more into the specifics, such as on the long travel bikes, it will be Long DONG, for the fatbikes, Fat Dong, etc. Their marketing guys have had many sleepless nights of late.........strangely all of them spent in bath houses?? Wink Smile
  • + 1
 BB DONG....
  • + 6
 to the blanket neg propper: your efforts to diminish enthusiasm has been met... with my +1's! Muahaha
  • + 6
 Is it going to come out in 650b+?
  • + 5
 April fools day could just be a test the water day.
  • + 5
 I AM MOISTENED BY THESE GLORIOUS IMPROVEMENTS
  • + 3
 even tho i know its april fools
i just like nice things, okay?
  • + 4
 including dongs
  • + 2
 I really wish this was true. Then tall people could just flip the stem around, and they could have a bike that actually fits!
  • + 4
 I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this became a thing in a few years.
  • + 2
 Can't wait to set my bike up with a B.u.l.l.s.h.i.t hub and D.O.N.G geometry. It'll make it easier to hit that 1415foot drop I've been eyeing up.
  • + 1
 i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/131/399/fry.PNG?1307468855

Can't tell if bike companies are playing april fools day joke, or are just verrrrrrrry counter cultural.
  • + 2
 Well im off to bed, i actually Bought it at first. I should be a politician.
  • - 1
 Sorry but I must say this kind of design is too wired.mondraker looks good,but how come Ns made a bike strange like this?!I cannot control my damn fingers to tape out those words(●––●)。。。。jibai。。。it really looks suck。。。funny
  • + 1
 With that new D.O.N.G. technology in my cockpit, I'd be pretty concerned with "Technical Interference Producing Mechanical And Safety Hazards" during my ride...
  • + 1
 My bike always felt a bit too long so I followed their example but added something. I now have DONGER (Drastically Opposed Negative Geometry Efficient Ride).
  • + 3
 I'm 90% sure Waki already did something like this
  • + 1
 You know there is a guy out there that has taken this seriously and is currently experimenting with the D.O.N.G. Retro fitting his Spesh Enduro... and looking for his teeth!
  • + 2
 Convenient only for wheelie... a bike for circus !
  • + 1
 The only way to ride it would be backwards. This should fix the stem issue.
  • + 2
 @bont gsehsch s meitli letscht samschtig isch eifacht im trend vorus gsi
  • + 1
 haha genau Wink
  • + 2
 Can't wait to get my hands on a D.O.N.G.
  • + 1
 If the Dong is an inverted stem or reveresed does that mean its had a sex change and its dong is now a thong
  • + 2
 I could ride that D.O.N.G so hard
  • + 1
 Only if there was a video to accompany this article. That would be awesome!
  • + 2
 You're onto something here.
  • + 1
 That bike looks nice and long. I think we'll be seeing more of this in the future (sans reverse stem).
  • + 1
 Fools or not, but I really love that prolonged bike's frontend with a lot of toe-tire room.
  • + 1
 ok, nice april fools joke, but I kinda want to try this.... tell me I'm not the only one
  • + 1
 Great, another new "standard". :/
  • + 1
 I would actually like to see a real review of the new NS Snabb.
  • + 1
 well having your stem backwards will make you look cool not.
  • - 1
 (●––●)
㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠
㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠
㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠
㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠㈠
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  • + 1
 this is fucking pointless
  • + 1
 what make is that blue stem? i like it!
  • + 1
 that is what we always sad。too much
  • + 1
 Do a bar spin and watch their minds go poooof!
  • + 1
 Actually, makes total sense.
  • + 2
 Now that's wack
  • + 1
 This certainly takes some balls....
  • + 1
 This has got to be an april fools
  • + 1
 weird...looks like low rider...
  • + 0
 disturbing thing is, i never noticed the stem was backwards until i red some of the comments. yikes!
  • + 2
 much enduro
  • + 1
 Look at that chainstay! hehe
  • + 1
 When is Santa Cruz releasing their new bike?
  • - 1
 In fact they already have but might have missed it since its invisible Wink
  • + 2
 D.O.N.G. heh heh
  • + 1
 What....I've been riding my bike like this for years now!
  • + 1
 hahaha you totally got me
  • + 1
 Finally a bike with enough room for yer dong!
  • + 1
 Endless jokes. Come on PB! We want more!
  • + 1
 lol
  • + 1
 DONG - the best ever patent name...even if it is a joke...hilarious.
  • + 0
 so ... my little brother can now ride my bikes? kkkkkk
Visually I did not like.
  • + 1
 I just came here for the comments.
  • + 0
 i came to the comments to see if anyone actually believed this was true because it's pb and that would happen.
  • + 1
 the stem looks suck dude
  • + 1
 Lol april fools dayI
  • + 1
 eww gross haah
  • + 1
 that's redongulous
  • + 1
 mdr
  • + 1
 april fools, fools.
  • + 1
 No CHRIST no
  • + 0
 Nice try.
  • + 0
 too easy...
  • - 1
 Who wouldn't want to straddle that DONG and go for a ride?
  • + 0
 (●––●)
  • + 0
 Fuck! NS got me!
  • + 0
 R U joking?!
  • - 1
 niiiiiiiiiice or just, NO
  • - 1
 I just realized what day it is... f*** you pink bike lmao
  • - 1
 April fools!!!!!!!
  • - 3
 Germans… What's next? W.U.R.S.T. Welded Underestimated Reversed Steel Tubes. SIGH!
  • - 3
 NS is Polish bro!
Remember for once:
NS - Polish
Death camps - German (WW2 Germans = Nazis)
  • - 2
 @badpotato
Auschwitz is in Poland...
  • - 1
 As You may know, Poland was under occupation that time....German occupation. As far as I remember so was France...but I am not saying that it was French people who were shooting to Americans during D-day Smile
  • - 1
 my point was just to say your comment about ww2/german/nazis was unnecessary/stupid. You could have say ns-polish/yt-german or something like that
  • - 1
 It was not Smile Everytime I hear polish death camps my blood boils in my veins (as huge part of those killed in camps were polish citizens, not always Jews). That is why I do run a quest for historic truth everywhere I can Smile and it does not mean that I don't like Germans.... I like them a lot and I know that young generations are carrying burden. Truth can help them voles join my quest!
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