Ouch! Biker Crashes Into Cow

Aug 17, 2014 at 19:59
by Pinkbike Staff  
Views: 252,585    Faves: 141    Comments: 21



205 Comments

  • + 450
 Who the hell rides though a field of cows?
  • + 342
 Should of told that cow to MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOvvvve!!!!!!
  • + 41
 mess with the bull and you get the horns...
  • + 64
 Seriously. What an idiot.
  • + 187
 He must be sponsored by Red Bull...
  • + 14
 T-Boned that chunk o' meat!
  • + 123
 that looked udderly painful. theres a lot at steak here
  • + 110
 I guess that cow had some beef with that rider.
  • - 20
flag Twallywilly (Aug 17, 2014 at 20:30) (Below Threshold)
 Yours was better...
  • + 25
 Dont cry over spilt milk....
  • + 21
 Should've stopped for that triple cheeseburger before the ride. Cow wouldn't have been there.
  • + 14
 Ow now brown cow.
  • - 57
flag scott-townes (Aug 17, 2014 at 20:57) (Below Threshold)
 I love to suck on cow's udders. Smile
  • + 23
 I guess that cow was in a bad MOO-D
  • + 27
 Oh Dairy Me!
  • - 69
flag scott-townes (Aug 17, 2014 at 21:00) (Below Threshold)
 mmmm just to flick those sagging bags of milk with my drool-covered tounge... lapping at it like a cat dying of thirst... Smile
  • + 68
 You guys are really milking these puns
  • + 2
 The cow had to go to the hospital. Happy to report that she only got a few stitches and is now in recovery.
  • + 19
 In some bike areas, like saalbach, it´s usual to ride through fields of cows. But you shouldn´t ride that fast besides cows.

I hope the milk is still ok. :O
  • + 6
 That was enough to chuck him over the bars.
  • + 3
 Give him a pat on the back he took it like a man. That cow must have been mad tho
  • + 1
 @moth423: You wouldn't grow wings this time, but you would probably get some air time.. + a hole in your leg
  • - 6
flag alexhyland (Aug 18, 2014 at 2:10) (Below Threshold)
 f*ck the haters! +1 for weirdness
  • + 6
 In reality he should have just bunny hopped it - but then it would be a cow hop....
  • + 6
 Haiii americans before to say things like this its good to know that europe normaly have cows and they
Are free, so its normaly to see cows in the bikeparkSmile
  • + 1
 go to vital mtb and seach eddie master e duro raw he rides trhow some cows
  • + 3
 i like your bike park
  • + 8
 that guy got grass fed
  • + 1
 Pretty common in the alps to come round a corner and have a herd of cows standing on the trail
  • + 4
 Who ever doesn't go ride through a field of cattle is a COWard....
  • + 1
 I totally agrey
  • + 2
 Everybody makes mistakes. The cows were on a main trail called vallons. And the half tonne cow was fine.
  • + 1
 "Utter"ly amazing!
  • + 6
 He guessed Left, Should have Steer-ed right.
  • + 1
 Don't blame him for ridding so fast he was just doing some extreme cow tipping
  • + 1
 Superman cow grab!
  • + 3
 i found this very amoosing
  • + 2
 Holy cow! He really could've gotten hurt!
  • - 1
 no shit
  • + 2
 Easiest way to contract Mad Cow
  • + 4
 That was, legen, wait for it....
  • + 13
 DAIRY. LEGENDAIRY
  • + 2
 Just when I thought the puns had dried up, you managed to squeeze that out.
  • + 0
 Yeah, we are all really milking it with these puns Wink
  • + 1
 you guys are udderley rediclous
  • + 0
 Careful with the "utter" puns I got negatived for it. Really ?
  • + 1
 That was very Dairy-ing of him to do that
  • + 1
 The teat is dry. Go tug on something else.
  • + 1
 Our trails around here (also in the USA) are open rangeland and have cows. We deal with it. They have the right-of-way for sure. Heck, some of our places we road bike even have cows, out on the road!
  • + 0
 He should have turned the utter way. Is that butter? Oops I meant better.
  • + 2
 @russelltinka: www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/utter
The word you're looking for is "udder" if you're making a cow pun.
  • + 3
 Don't have a cow grammar police ^
  • + 1
 I had the same problem here: instagram.com/p/ruO_QmFFUL
Smile
  • + 1
 Bhd13, yup, my bad. I guess I need to graze threw the dictionary before posting. I'll hoof it down to the book store to get one. Here's my last try. I feel "udder"ly stupid now. I can at least laugh at myself along with the rest of you.
  • + 1
 Haha, all in good fun.
  • + 143
 He should have yelled, "Strava!"
  • + 2
 It would've moved out of the way for sure then!
  • + 114
 that's one really stupid cow. almost as stupid as the guy who decided to ride through a field of cows.
  • + 2
 How is the cow stupid? It was grazing on the grass and this fool comes tearing through.
  • + 45
 The point. You missed it.
  • - 26
flag downhiller88 (Aug 17, 2014 at 22:25) (Below Threshold)
 What point? That the rider is stupid? Yes, but how is the cow stupid?

I've re-read the comment over and over for any potential pun or something, but can't seem to find anything.

Maybe I'm just too tired at the moment, but..
  • + 34
 Although he is stating that the cow is stupid, by likening it to the intelligence of the human it is far more of a put down towards the human. It is not an insult to the cow because we assume that they are stupid. I just had an English exam this morning please don't do this to me.
  • - 6
flag downhiller88 (Aug 17, 2014 at 22:39) (Below Threshold)
 Thank you, thank god, I was starting to tear my hour and pubes out over this, couldn't honestly figure it out. You gets da goods props for putting my mind at rest.
  • + 4
 Oh dear god, so now when someone explains it to me, I see what the op was getting at. Apologies op.
  • + 3
 This is the end section of a red run in les 2 alps and he was on strata trying to beat Danny harts time which he manged in the end
  • + 5
 best comments ever, literally laughing out loud.
  • + 80
 Cow: damn is that the new demo
  • + 10
 Ha.
Cow: so you think you're faster with 27.5 wheels
  • + 13
 Everybody knows 29ers roll over cow-sized bumps much better than 650b
  • + 61
 What a complete moron. I hope the cow is ok.
  • + 7
 I wouldn't worry about the cow too much. For the cow that probably felt like a little child running into you. Shouldn't be too bad.
  • + 4
 except when the child runs in to you with their head in your balls...
  • + 53
 In Soviet Russia, cow tips you
  • + 43
 What the f!#k is he doing riding that fast around cows??!! Lucky to walk away
  • + 6
 It's pretty normal in Europe.
  • + 7
 Cows are normal. That guy is not normal going highspeed through the cows.
  • + 36
 Holy Cow that could have hurt.
  • + 24
 Yeah he was really moo-ving
  • + 3
 He must have been utterly exhausted
  • + 1
 Pwngemn, read bhd13's post above. It's right after my 2nd to last post.
  • + 33
 Probably wasn’t a good idea to ride so fast though a field of cows ayyy?!
  • + 30
 I wonder if the cows are talking about this on they're websites?
  • + 22
 what a fucken dick hope the cow kicked him in the nuts after he fell off.
  • + 0
 Exactly. What an idiot. Just shows how any brainless retard can buy a mountain bike.
  • + 18
 Thank god he hit a regular cow and not a carbon cow, those ones shatter upon impact.
  • + 3
 Trek's OCLV carbon cow does better with impacts.
  • + 11
 specialized have made one with only three legs to save weight and make milking it easier
  • + 17
 Eat Mor Chikin
  • + 14
 Cow: do you even graze, bro?
  • + 10
 We here in southern Alberta who ride in (and around) Bragg Creek Provincial Park have to deal with a far more sinister, and lethal bovine assassin. You see, the provincial government has made arrangements with local area ranchers to allow for "grazing leases" within the park. Now, Bragg Creek Prov Park is HUGE, and home to many out door activities, one of which being XC and DH MTB. Despite the size of the park, these cows have selected regular grazing areas among some of the best MTB trails in the area. These cows have taken issue with our use of the park for such activities, and they have formed the SAAONC (Southern Alberta Association of Ninja Cows). Ask any experienced MTB'er in the area, and they will tell you of a time where out of nowhere, a black pyjama clad heifer has descended upon them from an unlikely location. Cows of the SAAONC have mad skills, and can make use of land within dense trees, on sketchy, rocky MTB trails, etc. On more than a few occasions i have come bombing around a corner, and BLAMMMMMMMMO! There they be, all cocky and $hit, blocking the trail. Won't let me pass, and actually try to intimidate me and my riding buddies. These solemn ninja-creatures just stand there, with that 1000 foot stare, and look in to your soul. When its good for them, they let you pass. In all seriousness, its pretty wild to see a herd of cows standing among a stand of dense pine trees, on a slope with an 11% grade, eating grass. Mad skillz....

Don't believe me? use the power of the Googlez and interweb to read more on these ba$tards!!! And if you're gonna ride in the area, polish up on your steer-wrestling or cow-jumping skillz.
  • + 12
 Still safer then road biking!!
  • + 2
 As a occasional road biker, I second this.
  • + 9
 Lol some interesting comments. To clarify that field of cows is actually the middle of the vallons run in les deux alpe. And yes now I know how unpredictable cows can be.
  • + 1
 That was the end of the 666 trail Smile Which ends at the beginning of the Venosc.
  • + 6
 IDIOT!
All he had to do, was to slow down, for 100 meters & then accelerate again. But nooo, he cannot slow down (who me? I am fast, faster than you!).
He is lucky the cow didn't kick his face of...
  • + 5
 actually those are trained cows! they're part of a big time austrian bike theft organisation. the rider is supposed to be knocked unconcious by the fall and the farmer, lurking out of sight, then comes in for the steal.... dude got lucky.
  • + 7
 Well he made a big miSTEAK. Hope he didn't hurt his CALVES.
  • + 8
 Poor cow..
  • + 7
 TBONE!
  • + 2
 He was lucky he wasn't riding in Tuscany (Italy) - the cows of the Chianina variety (the ones that yield those ridiculous 1kg t-bone steaks) are known to be very aggressive. I can just see the scene... guy enduring his way desperately down the field, with a pack of angry Chianina cows in hot pursuit!!!!
  • + 2
 this guy are very very very STUPID!!! in swizerland we have a lots of place that you need to go acros the cow. one importante thing is if you go fast the cow don t have time to see you and they will bee efraid you need too be calme end you need too go slowly. Farmer usualy don t like bicyle . because of this type of guy going fast acros the cow
  • + 1
 Um yeah he got lucky- I hit a cow on its shoulder blade while on my mountain bike in 1993. Going about 20-25mph more or less...fast enough that I hit it, flipped 10 feet in the air over the bars, landed on my head and then got trampled again (which broke my back). Fractures from the T8 to the L2. Now I am pinned and fused at the T10,11 and 12 vertebrae.

Yeah he was most fortunate it didn't get real ugly.
  • + 0
 Total injuries:
Collapsed Lung
Separated Shoulder
Concussion
Pinched sciatic nerve right leg still goes numb
Broken back
Hemorrhaging in the caudal canal surrounding the spinal nerve
  • + 4
 I know hockey season is coming up, but this isn't the safest way to practice your body checks.
  • + 5
 That was utterly unreal! Moooove over cow!
  • + 10
 *udderly
  • + 5
 Need some risk so add cows if you got no trees.
  • + 2
 a hell of a lot of tracks in the French and Swiss Alps are littered with cows walking round. Can be a bit sketch when one's just standing next to a kicker your about to hit and you don't know whether its gonna move.
  • + 0
 What a stupid rider... I think we all agree on that. But a bit off this topic, les 2 Alpes is the most dangerous bike park that I know. I have spent weeks in les 2 Alpes and the same in other resorts (Whistler, Morzine for example), it is amazing to see the number of riders that are injured in les 2 Alpes. You hear almost all day the sound of an ambulance, the "pompiers" or a rescue helicopter. There are so many reasons for it. The tracks are very unsafe. The best example I have is Venosc. One of the coolest tracks I know after the A line. But have you looked at the right side of the track? In some places there are almost vertical slopes with no fence, no net, no nothing. If you crash there you are lucky to survive. It happened to one of my friends, he got extremely lucky and managed to stop before a fall he would not have survived from.
In the case of this video, I do not think it is the resorts fault. Our sport is meant to happen in the nature. The guy should know that you cannot do that with 600kg animals.
  • + 5
 I saw the cow laugh! Smile
  • + 4
 Hey, quit playing with your food!
  • + 1
 Was at Tamarack, ID about 7yrs ago and was cruising into a big berm. Luckily I saw far enough ahead to see 3 cows just parked dead-center on the trail I was approaching. I'm glad I had good brakes at the time!
  • + 3
 In les gets in france cows often run over some tracks although they serve the bike park...
  • + 2
 What a Jackass! Cows move, especially when they get spooked by a fast moving object approaching them
  • + 2
 Almost like it's a bad idea to ride fast near animals as big as cars or something.
  • + 1
 City slicker.. you should do a cow hop.

ps cows kill humans, not often but beware.
www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/29/cows-kill-german-hiker-in-austria
  • + 2
 I think they were just trying to keep z germans out.
  • + 2
 Who put cows on that mountain bike trail?
  • + 1
 This poor bastard, ounce he gets out of the hospital and reads these reviews he will brake another rib from laughing
  • + 2
 I saw a welsh lad smashing into the back of a sheep near llandegla !!
  • + 1
 It was consensual !
  • + 2
 Someone show him how to make a proper milkshake. Poor kid hasn't a clue
  • + 2
 That cow must really hate 650b riders in his field
  • + 1
 with 26ers he could have dodged the cow...
  • + 1
 lMAO 100% rider fault wtf did he think was going to happen ummmm you ride a foot away from a cow it WILL get spooked
  • + 1
 Daisy watch out!!!! Mo! Ahhhh! He hit me did u see him he hit me!!! Oh he's down I win
  • + 2
 "Extreme beef tenderising test....... Take one!"
  • + 2
 White bull gives you dings!
  • + 1
 we all know what the fox says....and now what the cow says, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"
  • + 2
 Here is just a big BUDUM TSSSSSSSS for all these jokes.
  • + 2
 When burgers fight back
  • + 1
 YOU SHALL NOT PASS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • + 1
 I reckon its absolute bull
  • + 1
 The cow jumped over the dickhead not!
  • + 1
 Mooove beast get out the way.
  • + 1
 Well that was the most ambitious bit of riding I've seen in a long time...
  • + 1
 I guess ya gotta ride where u can haha
  • + 1
 I can c animal rights kickin of at this
  • + 2
 POOR COW Frown
  • + 1
 What a big mis-steak for that rider to make
  • + 1
 I love all the people whose comments were funny. you've made my day!
  • + 1
 First time I'm seeing this kind of crash lol epic
  • + 1
 No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.
  • + 1
 Cow doing some MTB tipping is what I saw....
  • + 1
 To prevent injuries, maybe cows should wear protection pads !!
  • + 1
 Lovely single track near uddersfield!!
  • + 2
 needs more cowbell!
  • + 1
 shoulda hopped and done a sweet tyre tap on its head
  • + 1
 Why would you even ride with cows around? What an idiot
  • + 1
 What a bellend!! fukin funny though!!
  • + 2
 hahahah what the fuck
  • + 1
 or, just get a bull bar.....
  • + 1
 Mavman67, 67 for your IQ...
  • + 2
 COW-abunga!
  • + 1
 Rider is an idiot. No question. (I bet he's a vegetarian now, too)
  • + 3
 stupid americans... Have you ever been anywhere else than in your greatest country of the world?

This isnt the staates. in the alps there are cows everywhere. They roam where ever they want. Even in Bikeparks and on Trails as we can see here. But of course, all others are stupid. f*cking americans!
  • + 3
 @Minucrest: Nope, you are the stupid one here. jsdfagasdf (the american guy, can't really expect me to write that name) is correct, rider is an idiot. Cows are flight animals. There is a high chance they will panic and try to run away if you approach them at such speed. I was rather surprised nothing much happend earlier.
  • + 1
 That is effin hilarious. I want to see someone clean a trail like this.
  • + 1
 That made me laugh heartily.
  • + 2
 Cowch!
  • + 1
 That was a very mooooving video
  • + 1
 This is utterly hilarious!
  • + 3
 udderly you mean
  • + 1
 indeed!
  • + 1
 No animals were hurt in the making of this video.
  • + 0
 That was the laugh of the night. Would you like some hot sauce with that cow
  • + 1
 Hahaha best laugh of the night
  • + 1
 I hate when I run into cows.
  • + 1
 I was inches from hitting a cow today!! That looked painful!!
  • + 2
 Where's the beef
  • + 1
 he's lucky it wasn't a bull LOL
  • + 1
 What the f**k did he think would happen?
  • + 3
 Usually they keep quit calm about bikes...
  • + 1
 Gruezi!!! Achtung Chue Scheisse!
  • + 1
 this guy must be running 27.5" bike lol
  • + 2
 Steer your bike!
  • + 1
 Probably a 29 er, not met a cow yet that rides one.
  • + 1
 Must have wanted a side of beef for dinner
  • + 1
 Whenever I ride past cows or sheep, I yell, "NOT BAD!!!"
  • + 1
 Uglier than a bag of mashed up arseholes !
  • + 1
 That was very mooving....
  • + 1
 A whole new version of cow tipping
  • + 1
 Beef tastes good.
  • + 1
 Misteak
  • + 1
 GET OFF MY LANDDDDDDD
  • + 1
 that was udder bull shit
  • + 1
 Cow-a-sock-he.
  • + 1
 Moo out the way
  • + 1
 I hope the cow is OK...
  • + 1
 What a idiot.
  • + 1
 hate when this happens
  • + 1
 Holy Cow!!!!!!!
  • + 1
 Roost beef
  • + 1
 Got milk
  • + 1
 He ate (cow) shit
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