To the Cock Sucker I caught trying to steal my bike, you should be ashamed. We work hard to buy nice stuff; you should do the same. Spread the word, always use a lock, and look out for shady characters lurking in the parking lot. This happened when buying a coffee. Bike theft is real, I just got lucky.
Shoulda busted out your phone camera and posted his pic on pinkbike. He'd never be able to show his face near bike stuff again if it made the front page of pb!
What a cock! Wish I was there to help you slam him.