North Shore Pain
I really hate getting a flat on the trail. I know some of you freaks of nature can change a flat in something stupid like 6 minutes, but it takes me 30 at least, 45 if I’m pissed off. I cheaped out on tires and tubes again so now I’m walking. I REALLY REALLY hate walking. I still have the 1 good ankle so only half of the walk was painfull and unpleasant. I think the trail was called : “Seven K up , after the 5th switch back, on the left hand side, about 25 feet past the big stump!”, or something like that.I got down to the next stopping place (apparently I couldn’t have fixed my flat back WHERE IT WENT FLAT!) and got everything I needed to fix my tire from everyone else. I had some Doritos, a cold Hot Dog, 2 litres of “last weekends” water, a 20 pack of Tim Bits, and a cell phone, but no tube. Oh, and I also brought some Tofu but I let that fall out of my bag in front of everyone before the ride. I think they were impressed that I was so Hard Core that I eat Tofu! (“I wonder what it tastes like?)! I started checking out my sore shin just long enough so that someone would get pissed and change my tire for me.
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Back in the day when Daddy paid for everything I just rode those flats out. “Screw it!” I’d say, loud enough for everyone to hear, “ What ever man, I’ll just get a new rim after school tomorrow!” Then I’d hammer down Grouse on my green, full rigid, Gary Fisher- Hoo-koo-e-Koo. (what the hell is a Hoo-Koo-e-Koo?) Of course when I got home the conversation was more like : “I stayed late at school to get some help with my algebra.” I’d tell my Mom when I got home. “After I helped Mrs. Whitaker carry all her books to the car, I was just riding down the street and BLAM! The tire went flat! I was going too fast to stop before I hit that big pot hole in the driveway.” Then I’d put on the subtle pout and give her the old….” I sure wish Dad would have fixed that pot hole last weekend like he told you he would. Now I have to spend my paper route money on a new back rim!” (Note : I made $200 a week from my 6:00am paper route, even though my MOM drove me around every time it rained or was cold. Or if I was too tired she’d drive and deliver the papers while I slept in the car. I have a Bachelors Degree in “Momunipulation!”
I’m not proud.
Seven Minutes! Very impressive! That’s 23 more minutes of riding time I’ll get today. Sweet! I hope that chunk of knuckle meat he left in my cog doesn’t make my chain skip.
About half way down “Seven K up , after the 5th switch back, on the left hand side, about 25 feet past the big stump,” there’s a 15 foot drop to flat. TO FLAT! To flat with big square pointy rocks everywhere and a big rut up the middle of the trail where you have to land! There’s about a 30 foot run out and then a stump the size of my house to slow you down! I know some guys do bigger drops than 15 feet but it’s still a little screwed up. I started thinking back to the BMX days with their smooth as glass jumps and perfect landings. Pumping and flowing around the track, and manualing through awesome rhythm sections. Then I remembered that the BMX days for me were 20 years ago. (I went out to the BMX track a couple months ago and I had to stop and puke at the end of the second straightaway. I only made it to the end of the straight because I got dizzy and accidentally went around half of the jumps.)
Of course this is a new decade. I’m not racing BMX any longer. No more Motocross either. Now it’s all about downhill. Not just that it’s downhill mountain biking but the fact that it’s DOWN HILL. I’m too old and fat to be pedaling up any hills. Finally it was my turn to plummet. It’s all about the set up. I went over it all in my mind:
- carry momentum
- pull the front end up
- drop it over the edge
- suck the take off up with your legs
- extend your legs in the air
- land on the rear wheel
- absorb as much of the landing as you can with your legs
- let the forks do the rest.
Sounds easy enough. I swear I read the article about “How to Drop like a Pro” at least 25 times! I’m Ready!
I cleared my mind, checked over my B1 Woodbumble, coasted in slowly and:
- got hung up on a root
- lost my speed
- started tipping to one side
- went for the pedal stroke to get the front end up
- WRONG GEAR!
- Huge endo!
- tuck and roll!
- clean break, Radius and Ulna
- plate and 9 screws
Luckily it’s my left arm so this shouldn’t affect my Social Life!
See you in 6 – 8 weeks!
Ride Hard, Take Chances!
Back in the day when Daddy paid for everything I just rode those flats out. “Screw it!” I’d say, loud enough for everyone to hear, “ What ever man, I’ll just get a new rim after school tomorrow!” Then I’d hammer down Grouse on my green, full rigid, Gary Fisher- Hoo-koo-e-Koo. (what the hell is a Hoo-Koo-e-Koo?) Of course when I got home the conversation was more like : “I stayed late at school to get some help with my algebra.” I’d tell my Mom when I got home. “After I helped Mrs. Whitaker carry all her books to the car, I was just riding down the street and BLAM! The tire went flat! I was going too fast to stop before I hit that big pot hole in the driveway.” Then I’d put on the subtle pout and give her the old….” I sure wish Dad would have fixed that pot hole last weekend like he told you he would. Now I have to spend my paper route money on a new back rim!” (Note : I made $200 a week from my 6:00am paper route, even though my MOM drove me around every time it rained or was cold. Or if I was too tired she’d drive and deliver the papers while I slept in the car. I have a Bachelors Degree in “Momunipulation!”
I’m not proud.
Seven Minutes! Very impressive! That’s 23 more minutes of riding time I’ll get today. Sweet! I hope that chunk of knuckle meat he left in my cog doesn’t make my chain skip.
About half way down “Seven K up , after the 5th switch back, on the left hand side, about 25 feet past the big stump,” there’s a 15 foot drop to flat. TO FLAT! To flat with big square pointy rocks everywhere and a big rut up the middle of the trail where you have to land! There’s about a 30 foot run out and then a stump the size of my house to slow you down! I know some guys do bigger drops than 15 feet but it’s still a little screwed up. I started thinking back to the BMX days with their smooth as glass jumps and perfect landings. Pumping and flowing around the track, and manualing through awesome rhythm sections. Then I remembered that the BMX days for me were 20 years ago. (I went out to the BMX track a couple months ago and I had to stop and puke at the end of the second straightaway. I only made it to the end of the straight because I got dizzy and accidentally went around half of the jumps.)
Of course this is a new decade. I’m not racing BMX any longer. No more Motocross either. Now it’s all about downhill. Not just that it’s downhill mountain biking but the fact that it’s DOWN HILL. I’m too old and fat to be pedaling up any hills. Finally it was my turn to plummet. It’s all about the set up. I went over it all in my mind:
- carry momentum
- pull the front end up
- drop it over the edge
- suck the take off up with your legs
- extend your legs in the air
- land on the rear wheel
- absorb as much of the landing as you can with your legs
- let the forks do the rest.
Sounds easy enough. I swear I read the article about “How to Drop like a Pro” at least 25 times! I’m Ready!
I cleared my mind, checked over my B1 Woodbumble, coasted in slowly and:
- got hung up on a root
- lost my speed
- started tipping to one side
- went for the pedal stroke to get the front end up
- WRONG GEAR!
- Huge endo!
- tuck and roll!
- clean break, Radius and Ulna
- plate and 9 screws
Luckily it’s my left arm so this shouldn’t affect my Social Life!
See you in 6 – 8 weeks!
Ride Hard, Take Chances!
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