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Welcome to Chav Spotter
Hello and all welcome to the Chav Spotter....each week, I shall endeavour to guide you through the varius kinds of Chav that we see and hate on our streets, country parks, housing estates and skate parks.....This week we have three kinds of Chav to begin with.....
We focus this week on the Common Chav, Feral Chav and the Garry Boy Chav
Hope this raises a smile or two
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fe/Chav_tracksuite.jpg
Here we have an example of the Common Chav (latin Chavvicus Semi Domesticus). This species has evolved from the Shell suited Chav of the Early '90's, which showed traits (in varying degrees) of some sort of domestication. Easily identified by the burberry baseball cap, loose trousers and poor 'bling', these are the most docile of the species, normally found loitering on thier own or in groups of two.....however, with the rise of unemployment and increase in Chav numbers, they have evolved further into the more dangerous version....The Feral Chav
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://21stcenturywire.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/chav23.jpg
The Feral Chav (Latin Chavvicus Ignorus Asbosus) is a much more dangerous form of the species, tending to form large groups or packs of 5 or more individuals. These then prey on innocent people by causing s much noise, havoc and destruction as possible. To them, the ASBO is a right of passage, and he who has the most, normally is therefore the 'Lead or HEad' Chav. Into this group, we also find Chavettes, also identifyable by thier normally bolonde or black hair worn long. The Burberry has given way this time to hoodies, to increase thier menacing appearence. The baseball cap however, reamins a fixture on most Chav heads. They normally walk with thier hands on pockets and heads dropped out of 'boredom' and talk with thier won personal dialect and terms in varying degrees of ignorance and venom. The hanging lower jaw is also typified of some rarer members of this species, although the 'The whole F*****g world is against me, but I will take what I can get' attitude is prevalent amongst them.
If one should encounter a group of wild Chavs, then they should not be approached, but back slowly and carefully away, ensure anything of value is well hidden from thier view at all times. If the option of backing away is not possible, then simply either run like hell or call the Chav control unit if they begin to get restless at your presence. In general though these gatherings will normally dissipate after several hours and or cans of lager and spliffs.
The Garry Boy Chav (Chavicus NoisyNovarius) also known as the Boy Racer Chav is seemingly a dwindling species....Thank the Fates for that I hear many of you say. These semi Feral Chavs normally travel in groups of two or three, sporting a mixture of hoodies, poor bling and Baseball caps. These Chavs can also eaily be identified by thier mode of transport, which normally consists of a 1 litre Vauxhall Nova with a 'big ass' exhaust and loud music coming from the car. They like to take part in the 'traffic light grand prix', revving the engines of these poor cars to almost breaking point while trying to intimidate the driver of the car alongside them with thier music and the sometimes overpowering aroma of Weed coming from the open windows as many occupants are smoking it. Sometimes they are accompanied by the Chavette, these will be covered at a later date.
The biggest victims of the Garry Boy Chav hoever are the cars themselves, being 'Modded' to make them look 'Coola Than a Gangsta's Ride' as one recently interviewed GBC told me....two days later, the car's clutch exploded as he attempted a burning get away from a set of traffic lights, leaving that particular Chav, a complete laughing stock. The usual positions they occupy are the left side of the road, or when being chased by the Police, all over the road in a futile and desperate attempt to escape capture....below are a couple of the worst examples of Garry Boy Chav Modding this Chav Spotter has come across.....
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://www.awesome-gti.co.uk/images/sale91.jpgUnsecure image, only https images allowed: http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/18191963754168807516.jpeg___1_500_1_500_cb94de6a_.png
This is a sight many wish to see
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://ad4m22.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/harry_brown06.jpg
Next week....we focus on the Chavette in all her *ahem* 'glory'
We focus this week on the Common Chav, Feral Chav and the Garry Boy Chav
Hope this raises a smile or two
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fe/Chav_tracksuite.jpg
Here we have an example of the Common Chav (latin Chavvicus Semi Domesticus). This species has evolved from the Shell suited Chav of the Early '90's, which showed traits (in varying degrees) of some sort of domestication. Easily identified by the burberry baseball cap, loose trousers and poor 'bling', these are the most docile of the species, normally found loitering on thier own or in groups of two.....however, with the rise of unemployment and increase in Chav numbers, they have evolved further into the more dangerous version....The Feral Chav
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://21stcenturywire.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/chav23.jpg
The Feral Chav (Latin Chavvicus Ignorus Asbosus) is a much more dangerous form of the species, tending to form large groups or packs of 5 or more individuals. These then prey on innocent people by causing s much noise, havoc and destruction as possible. To them, the ASBO is a right of passage, and he who has the most, normally is therefore the 'Lead or HEad' Chav. Into this group, we also find Chavettes, also identifyable by thier normally bolonde or black hair worn long. The Burberry has given way this time to hoodies, to increase thier menacing appearence. The baseball cap however, reamins a fixture on most Chav heads. They normally walk with thier hands on pockets and heads dropped out of 'boredom' and talk with thier won personal dialect and terms in varying degrees of ignorance and venom. The hanging lower jaw is also typified of some rarer members of this species, although the 'The whole F*****g world is against me, but I will take what I can get' attitude is prevalent amongst them.
If one should encounter a group of wild Chavs, then they should not be approached, but back slowly and carefully away, ensure anything of value is well hidden from thier view at all times. If the option of backing away is not possible, then simply either run like hell or call the Chav control unit if they begin to get restless at your presence. In general though these gatherings will normally dissipate after several hours and or cans of lager and spliffs.
The Garry Boy Chav (Chavicus NoisyNovarius) also known as the Boy Racer Chav is seemingly a dwindling species....Thank the Fates for that I hear many of you say. These semi Feral Chavs normally travel in groups of two or three, sporting a mixture of hoodies, poor bling and Baseball caps. These Chavs can also eaily be identified by thier mode of transport, which normally consists of a 1 litre Vauxhall Nova with a 'big ass' exhaust and loud music coming from the car. They like to take part in the 'traffic light grand prix', revving the engines of these poor cars to almost breaking point while trying to intimidate the driver of the car alongside them with thier music and the sometimes overpowering aroma of Weed coming from the open windows as many occupants are smoking it. Sometimes they are accompanied by the Chavette, these will be covered at a later date.
The biggest victims of the Garry Boy Chav hoever are the cars themselves, being 'Modded' to make them look 'Coola Than a Gangsta's Ride' as one recently interviewed GBC told me....two days later, the car's clutch exploded as he attempted a burning get away from a set of traffic lights, leaving that particular Chav, a complete laughing stock. The usual positions they occupy are the left side of the road, or when being chased by the Police, all over the road in a futile and desperate attempt to escape capture....below are a couple of the worst examples of Garry Boy Chav Modding this Chav Spotter has come across.....
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://www.awesome-gti.co.uk/images/sale91.jpgUnsecure image, only https images allowed: http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/18191963754168807516.jpeg___1_500_1_500_cb94de6a_.png
This is a sight many wish to see
Unsecure image, only https images allowed: http://ad4m22.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/harry_brown06.jpg
Next week....we focus on the Chavette in all her *ahem* 'glory'
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Member since May 23, 2010
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Bumped into you on the Train the other day, I was the guy with the black Marin, I remembered the chav post so i just dropped in to give it the full read..
hahaha.. awesome stuff
:-)
no doubt the (always there when you (dont) need them) boys in blue will come to the rescue with the comprehensively funded community policing program.