serious girlfriend problem - any real help is appretiated =/

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serious girlfriend problem - any real help is appretiated =/
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flag ShocksFloat
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 4:57 Quote
hey guys,

i have a real issue here. im going out with this girl in new hampshire, i live in massachusetts, and no its not a long distance problem. its 30 minutes away and i see her when im at my bestfriends house. shes 14, and im 16. not that much of an age difference really.. but shes in 8th grade and im in 11th grade. that is a big difference. i really feel like im pretty close to being in love with this girl, maybe i am fully in love with her, and she feels the same. *please dont go on about young love dosent exist* anyway. her parents found out im 16 and now they wont let her talk to me at all. and she is really flipping out, and taking it badly. im a really chill person so im taking it calmly and looking for positives, telling her we can be bestfriends for now, but thats making her more depressed!!

what do i do guys?!

thanks!

ben
flag jonbikes
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 5:52 Quote
Age isn't an issue in relationships when you are out of school, but her being 14 and you 16, would be like you getting married to someone that is 25 when you are 50...in a sense, just to try to put it into perspective.

You've gotta remember that at 14, her father is not willing to give her up to ANYONE, let alone someone that is 2 years older than her and in highschool (we all know what every high school guy wants to do with a good looking girl).


Just think about that little bit of information, and than go from there. Treat her like the last cookie in the jar, you want it really bad, but you know you're not supposed to touch itWink
flag mccaw
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 6:39 Quote
I always thought the rule was 1 year above 1 year below???

But yh id go carefull with that dude......remember your legal shes not!
flag unclemofo
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 7:56 Quote
The rule is to half your age and add 7.
flag mccaw
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 8:27 Quote
So you mean if i was 16 then id be aloud out with a 15 year old at the youngest.......?
flag unclemofo
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 9:03 Quote
Well yeah, unless you don't mind being called a kiddy fiddler.
flag ezekiel
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 9:11 Quote
mccaw wrote:
So you mean if i was 16 then id be aloud out with a 15 year old at the youngest.......?

Yes sir.

Half plus 7 is the most commonly accepted rule. If you go 1 up or 1 down, that's way too small of a window to work with.

I went through much the same situation at that age, I was 17 and she was 15. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't even bother with it. Even after we were allowed to date, her family did everything to sabotage it. It was 1/2 hour to get to her house so it would be an hour travel time to pick her up and drive her home. Her parents would give ridiculous curfews most weekends that left us about 6 or 7 hours together in a weekend. During our weeks off, we were allowed to see each 2 days out of the week. I was rarely invited over and when I was it was very awkward to say the least. Due to the age difference her mother wouldn't let her go traveling at all because of the curfews. In the end, her parents constant arguing over our relationship lead to its ending.

I guess it all depends on the parents but that sounds a lot like the same thing I went through and would not recommend. Being as they made their daughter terminate contact like that, I doubt that they'll see any possible reasoning you or her may have in a logical manner. In closing, accept the fact that some people are close minded and they'll never change. Even if they do, you'd constantly be under the microscope.
flag ShocksFloat
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 14:23 Quote
thanks guys. she is the last cookie in the cookie jar. i can touch a little. but its not about that. id rather hold her hand than f*ck her. shes not just another girl. ill do what it takes. id take those 6 hours on the weekend like you said. i dont care. i just want to be with her.
flag specializedbiker
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 15:34 Quote
jonbikes wrote:
Age isn't an issue in relationships when you are out of school, but her being 14 and you 16, would be like you getting married to someone that is 25 when you are 50...in a sense, just to try to put it into perspective.
not at all, think about it, go to your parents and ask them how old they are, if they give you a honest answer you will notice that its in most cases more then 2 years apart. its just that in stead of being in there 30 and more, there in there teen years. but what i would do in this situation is try to maintain contact with her, dont try to rush the realation ship and then hopefully her parents will come around, relise that your not just another guy looking to score
flag brad-maxwell
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 16:05 Quote
I fell for you and everything, but a word of advice.
Dont post relationship problems on pinkbike, most of the memebers girlfreind is there hand.
flag specializedbiker
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 16:12 Quote
haha, but not nessecarly true.
flag woody
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 16:53 Quote
PM if you want to discuss it.
flag calgaryrider
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 16:58 Quote
My rule of thumb is usually a two year younger max, any more than that and yeah, its classified as a pedophile. But then again, I'm 19, not 16, so for you, I'd probably say the one year rule is appropriate. Anyways, my advice to you, your in highschool, don't even worry about it, chicks will come and go, if her parents are gonna be anal about it then just move on. Seriously, it will be more of a headache than its worth, and chances are it will end badly, so just go for the friendship, wait a year or two, and if shes still chill, then go for it. Besides there are more important things to worry about, like what your gonna do with the rest of your life.
flag hrdbiker
Posted: Feb 28, 2008 at 19:08 Quote
Well, the age difference is none of my buisness, however think about how old she is...shes probably not responsible enough to take the realationship as seriously as you. Shes young and so are you, I can garuntee you wont spend the rest of your life with her the way you think you will. Teenage realtionships seldom last.
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