Tales fron the SRAM Van-Trail Rage

Yes there is such a thing. Yes it is what you think.
The biking equivalent to road rage. The opportunity for trail rage to occur can only really happen in areas of high traffic aka the bike park or a race course,(where I do 89%of my riding). I must admit I am a serious offender. Im really not an aggresive person untill I get on my bike and get stuck behind somebody.
Then one of 2 things can happen; this person can; A.
Pull over and let you pass or; 2. Not. The latter results in me starting to twitch causing my eyes to glaze over, my teeth to clench and makes me start thinking about what this person is thinking. I know they know I'm there cause I've been yelling at them "ON YOUR LEFT", "ON YOUR RIGHT" but NO this is their trail, nobodys gonna pass them. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
WRONG! WRONG!
My personal favourite is when "the offender"
( not me with the trail rage but the person causing the trail rage. I'm never in the wrong for the
record.) has their name on their helmet or jersey.
Then things get a little more personal. I start to enquire " HEY DAVE! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET ME PASS!"
Dave starts to pedal hard not realizing hes not going any faster. " DAVE! IM STILL HERE!" This is when things can start to get dangerous. I'm gonna pass Dave weather he likes it or not.
Let me clear somthing up. I would NEVER think about doing this to girls or children and only do this on black trails.
I see an opening, Daves goin' down. I give him one more very loud "ON YOUR LEFT DAVE" and charge through.
Hardly on the trail anymore Im getting whipped relentlessly in the arms and face with alder branches and spooked Dave is getting roosted with fist sized shrapnel. Its a tense little moment for both of us but it's over in an instant. 17 seconds later im on the back wheel of Daves friend Chris and the whole procedure starts again. Welcome to A-Line on saturday afternoon.
Waiting in line for the lift is always interesting after this little encounter. I've been congradulated on a great pass and also glared at untill I get on the lift. I've heared of people getting pretty close to fisticuffs ( is this a real word? Where did it come
from?)
All of this can be avoided. If you are a beginner or intermediate rider on a black trail chances are your gonna get passed. If you hear "ON YOUR LEFT" it means "Excuse me sir, If you could slow down a little and pull over to your right Im going to pass by on your left side.Thank you." It doesn't have to be instantanious (ideally it is). If you need a couple of seconds to figure out whats going on I can deal with that, just make it happen sooner than later.
If I've passed you by aggressivly in the past I apologise. I hope we both escaped unscathed. However i can't promise its not gonna happen again.

I guess I'm just an a*shole.
Sorry.

Adam Billinghurst