Dylan decides to take Catharine Pendrel up on the offer of a ride, but after convincing himself all is well he's soon left far behind with paranoia setting in whilst riding Pineview Valley.

If you could do it again, would you still choose to learn how to mountain bike on a hardtail?

People love charts, timelines, spreadsheets and...wait, no, people hate those things. That's right, I'm thinking of robots. Robots love charts. Ah, well, I made a chart of my "ride" today anyway. Note the use of the quotation marks--there's a reason for their usage here, as this handy flowchart illustrates.

Getting back on the horse.

What type of bike does Donald Trump push up the climbs? What would Lemmy be on at the dirt jumps?

Crashing is part of life. Like flossing your teeth or paying taxes. You get on with it. It might even be good for you. Well, at least the flossing bit. Crashing like a fool for the first month of each and every rainy season? Now, that's a bit harder to come to terms with.