Press Release: NukeproofThe darkest winter nights have been encouraging the darkest of thoughts. The “slog“ of lapping heavy going British trails, brought on a new anger and envy at the Electrical powered brethren’s. If you can’t beat them, join them?
But how you cry? Nukeproof don’t have an Electrical powered bicycle market… And we still don’t. We’ve bypassed electric and gone straight back a bygone era if you ain't mixing gas, you uaint kickin' ass...
Please welcome our latest addition to the Nukeproof range; the Scout(er).
Designed and developed deep in the Black Country, UK. With over 3 months of spanner wheeling, engineering and refining in the garden shed, it’s almost ready for the trails (you going to wait for Tommy C's Scoutin' About 3 to see it in action). Harnessing more power, more range and more death than an E-Bike, with technology from a lost generation technology. The punchy 2-stroke 80cc engine 3BHP motor is a glorious symphony of noise and will irritate every E-Biker as you whiz past them on the hills and trails*.
Yes that is a copper pipe, with a punisher style Carb set up.
As with any new bike, you’ve got to bring in a new standard, so we’re pleased to introduce super mega whopper boost 168mm spacing (box Ticked).
Twist and Go, Sam Hill's new Throttle grip
More Range than any E-Bike, range-extending hydration-2 Stroke pack also available
Twin Brake/ Clutch set up to challenge your finger skills
The Scout(er), Coming to Scoutin' About 3 soon
Spec: A high performance fully compromised build resurrected from the scrap heap and spare parts box:
Scout 275 XL Frame
Rockshox Lyrik 170mm
Nukeproof Finishing kit Inc. Custom Saddle (As unwanted by Sam Hill)
Sam Hill Signature Super Throttle grip
Hybrid No Hope Wheelset (Hope Pro 4 27.5 Rear/ Mavic Deemax Front)
Tyres: Semi-Slick Michelins
Sram Code/ Guide mix ‘n match brakes
Sam Hill Day of the Dead Hand Guards
Super Mega Whopper Boost: 168mm Hub Spacing
X01 11 Speed Drivetrain
Fully customised plumbing
Top Tube Mounted Hydration for incredible range
80cc eBay motor, creating 3bhp
SRP: £15,000* (Just because it's better than all the E-Bikes out there)
www.nukeproof.com
#itsanattitude
Fortunately he never got the engine running and got rid of it. But I bet somebody somewhere DID.
nukeproof is (too) late, the hate is almost over
Don’t believe me? Check out all my other comments about “the industry” in four or five of the other April Fools attics out there...
*Disclaimer: This is all a bit of fun buddy, this my own personal Scout frame (from 2018- so not taken from customer stock) and I have paid/ bought for all the materials, using my friends and my time to play whilst being in lockdown in the UK.