Bitches Brew - Don't Drink the Haterade

Haters. Downers. Shit talkers. Big mouths. Comedians. 'Friends'. Negativity comes in many, many forms and goes by many, many names, but it's always present and it can overwhelm us... if we allow it to. Whether it's lighthearted shittalking amongst friends, online comments and vitriol, or the everyday offhand cruelty, people being d*cks just seems to happen - it's a default for a lot of people. The kicker about negativity is that it often stems from a deeper unhappiness and dissatisfaction. "Misery loves company" is a well-known adage, but do we really internalize that part of it? Do we truly understand that if the 'hater' can bring everyone down to their level, they've successfully made themselves feel a bit better about whatever shitstorm is going on inside of their minds?

The art of negativity is funny to me, probably because I've experienced so much of it. Being a girl that's reasonably stubborn and who shoots for the moon when it comes to dreaming big, I'm on the receiving end of a lot of negativity and hate. Sometimes it's in the form of criticism, or in the spirit of 'who the hell are YOU?', but I can tell you this: it NEVER is about me. Okay, scratch that. It's mostly never about me. Sometimes I've truly pissed someone off and rather than punch me in the face they're content to tear me down, and that sucks, but it's probably a little deserved. Most often, it's not about me. Whatever I'm doing that someone is criticizing or hating on is generally my own business and they're just looking for a fight. Sometimes I willingly oblige; I won't lie. Occasionally I'll lower myself into that sinkhole and give them exactly what they want (and usually deserve) in a verbal diatribe. However, the older I get, the more I've realized that staying above the fray is a lot easier in the long run. Giving a grin and a chuckle (even when I'd rather pull my teeth out than smile) not only infuriates the hater and discredits the substance of whatever negativity they're throwing out, but it usually helps get my mind back to where it needs to be - on the task at hand.

Don't let the haters get you down.

I've had a lot of shit talked to me about a lot of stuff, but especially my riding and racing. Honestly? It cracks me up. At first I didn't find it so humorous because I actually believed the awful things people said about my goals and dreams, but then I had a good friend literally shake me one morning before a race. He grabbed my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye and asked, "Why do you ride? Why do you race? What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to impress?"

In that moment, I realized that I'd entirely forgotten why I ride my bike. The chatter and radio nonsense surrounding me had so completely taken over my airwaves that riding had become a source of pressure and stress for me instead of what it actually is: my greatest passion. The STRAVA segment times, the talk about my racing and what I was and wasn't doing right as an 'athlete' and all of the background noise had created a monster out of the sport I love; in that moment, I looked him back in the eyes and said, "Because I love bikes."

What I've learned from that experience is just how easy getting caught up in the daily mediocrity of life is. It's a quick descent into a negative collective and the opinions and comments that exist therein, but staying honest and passionate and excited and enthusiastic is the key to happiness - do what you love until it's not fun anymore and then move on. Do you, and nothing else will matter.

Surrounding yourself with people who support your passion makes everything a little easier.

Now, I'm not an advice guru by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a human and I was told to write something. So here you go: if you love bikes, go ride your goddamn bike until your knuckles bleed and your feet fall off. If you love to race and want to do it professionally, sign up. Ride that bike as fast as you can and don't worry about the win or placing or beating your friends. Just go out to beat yourself. If you want to jump the shit out of some big kickers or compete at Rampage or do the world's first supersonic backflip-superman combo, set out and do it.

Find people who support you, who love you, and who will always have your back, even when you're out of line. Surround yourself with the kind of stuff that makes you a better person, people and hobbies that push you. Never, ever, ever let anyone convince you that what you're doing and who you are is a waste. Ignore the haters, because they'll always exist. There will always be someone out there who will hate you for standing up for something, and who would crucify you for staying silent. There will always be that one person who attacks you for being unique and then there will be someone else who will bash you for blending in. There are so many haters out there, and they'd all have us believe that we suck.

Guess what? We don't. We're rad. And we are funny and smart and capable and inspiring and wonderful and extraordinary. To hell with the haters. Do your own thing and then pass the positivity forward.

Don't believe the hype.