Video: Mountain Bike Trail Names are Weird

Jun 23, 2023 at 10:32
by ifhtfilms  

bigquotesWhen you wanna ride Botched Circumcision but you end up on Adulterous Bride.


Author Info:
ifhtfilms avatar

Member since Dec 14, 2018
35 articles
Must Read This Week
Pinkbike's DH Fantasy League: Get Your Team On The Line - Fort William is in 10 DAYS!
42321 views
Downhill Bikes of Sea Otter - Part 2
41442 views
Bike Check: Evan Wall's Haro Greer Prototype Enduro Bike
41216 views
First Ride: Canyon Neuron:ONfly - a Lighter 140mm eMTB
39338 views
Pinkbike Poll: Riser Bar or Extra Spacers Under the Stem?
38255 views
Vivo Cycling Previews All-Aluminum 12-Speed Derailleur
37629 views
The Ultimate Recap of Sea Otter 2024
36838 views
Dario's Final Sea Otter Randoms
35716 views
Sign Up for the Pinkbike Newsletter - All the Biggest, Most Interesting Stories in your Inbox
PB Newsletter Signup

93 Comments
  • 67 2
 "Unplanned Pregnancy" is waaayyyy more gnarly than it was about a year ago.
  • 41 0
 not nearly as gnarly as climbing route names.
  • 3 2
 I can here to say this.
  • 28 47
flag Motdoc (Jun 24, 2023 at 10:52) (Below Threshold)
 I don’t like a lot of them, many seem, dude bro, misogynist. More women in the sport please.
  • 23 7
 @Motdoc: oh here we go….zzzzzzzz
  • 11 29
flag fentoncrackshell (Jun 24, 2023 at 16:36) (Below Threshold)
 @Motdoc Why was this downvoted? There's a few too many incels on this website and I know plenty of women that ride better than them.
  • 14 2
 @Motdoc: what do the women builders name their trails?
  • 11 1
 @Motdoc: go build your own trails and name them whatever you want. make a difference yourself if you want it.
  • 1 0
 Yup, sent "Dictator in a Deerstalker" last Blue Mountains trip.
  • 3 1
 @Motdoc: cringe
  • 2 0
 We have a trail built strictly by women called "Fanny's Yer Aunt," which is very fun, proving all genders agree that riding Fanny's is for everyone.
  • 33 2
 we've got "Shallow Grave" among others in an area where a local 1980s serial killer buried his victims. I'll expect and accept the downvotes.
  • 3 0
 We have "Murdur Durder" for a trail near where Mare of Easttown was filmed.
  • 4 0
 We used to have Dead Hooker.
  • 10 0
 The local "Hobo's Anus" is a spicy one
  • 2 0
 Local to us, we have “Jim’ll Fix It” (downvotes-a-comin’)
  • 22 3
 I wish we could get fun trail names here in Colorado, instead it’s all PC BS approved by the city council or county open space commissioner or forest service
  • 4 0
 Better than around here where the trail organization board names trails after themselves. Fat bike trail crowd source names are better: Scary Girlfriend, Trash Panda, etc.
  • 7 0
 Just do what people in Rotterdam do: ignore the official names and use your own names. We have a shopping street below street level that the city decided to officially call the 'Beurstraverse' (trade traverse). No real Rotterdammer calls it that. It is and will always be referred to as 'Koopgoot' (buying gutter).
  • 2 0
 @Mac1987: Classic! That is sort of how it works around here for the winter trails if the name that shows up on trial forks is not sufficiently sarcastic.
  • 5 0
 They could name them all after Care Bears as long as they actually build some
  • 8 5
 If you're getting upset about PC trail names, you clearly haven't got enough to worry about. Of course we should really go for some more realistic names: like forced birth, death by miscarriage, gender pay gap, domestic violence, school gun deaths, 14.8% of US women have been raped (that might be a bit long for a sign). Or are those also too PC for you?
  • 3 0
 @flatplatypus: nah 'Domestic Violence" is a great trail name, good job.
  • 11 0
 @flatplatypus: I’d send the gender pay gap
  • 4 2
 @flatplatypus: lol. Waaaaah. Gender pay gap. That made me laugh. Out loud.
  • 3 1
 @flatplatypus: Fat Platypussy is a killer trail name.
  • 3 0
 we have numbers. It sucks.
  • 4 0
 @flatplatypus: being a male by birth and choice I would definitely send it off the Gender Pay Gap.
  • 2 0
 @flatplatypus: your username does not reflect the area’s historical ties to the mining industry, as per the city council’s resolution on acceptable trail and user names you have been ruled not PC enough for Colorado, you will henceforth be banned from trail naming in the state.
  • 17 0
 I've always been a fan of Easy Stepsister.
  • 3 0
 I bet you have.
  • 12 0
 My friend and I built a 15 minute downhill you could shuttle in Nor Ca. (Circa 2001). After a lot of consideration for naming it we settled on “Your Sister “. It was common to hear said “ a bunch of us are riding Your Sister tomorrow”, did Your Sister today, the traction was perfect “ and many other variations. Unfortunately it was devastated in a Forest fire AKA (Car Fire) and the erosion that followed that winter ruined it. Goes without saying that “Your Sister is now unridable and completely blown out.”
  • 10 0
 I like this video.
As a Trailbuilder who named trails based on what my life was doing at the time, and the music we liked most whole building and riding the trails and considering how hard me, and let’s be honest, the volunteers and the other Trailbuilder’s worked on it- the whole experience kinda sucked when the department of natural resources renamed it and put up signs with the new (very safe and uninspired vanilla) name and made us take down our very lovingly hand made and very awesome signs. Cést la vie
I got over it.
Trailbuilder’s should name trails, and women should build trails and children should learn both.
Wu tang is for the children.
Minor threat forever.
  • 12 0
 Party in the woods leads to plan b, which leads to devils racetrack
  • 8 0
 Should name trails after Bad Religion songs.
  • 23 5
 Unfortunately it only works for one trail since every Bad Religion song sounds exactly the same.
  • 2 0
 Applies to any artist in the genre.
  • 1 0
 Brand New religion sounds like a great trail name!
  • 1 0
 or after rob (/white) zombie songs !
Superbeast, El Phantasmo And The Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama, Well, Everybody’s f*cking in a U.F.O., Shake Your Ass-Smoke Your Grass , etc.
  • 7 0
 'Coal not Dole' at bike park Wales is one of my favourites. Reminds me of the Thatcher rebellion in the 80's.
  • 3 0
 Hiker Guy...if Martin Short's Outside-oriented brother worked in the industry, this seems like the type of skit he'd do.

No idea what it means, but the only "SCTV" trail listed in Trailforks is Indosiar SCTV.
  • 4 0
 I'd like to think it's a reference to one of the greatest sketch-comedy ensembles known to man.
  • 6 1
 Im sure Moose Mountain's "that whore" could fit into this story line somewhere
  • 2 0
 or SLF
  • 2 0
 or the "CF" climb on race of spades, or tragically the much better named "Aunt Flow" over its lame new name of flo's diner.
  • 2 0
 Notable local trail names:
-Organ Donor
-Birth Control
-Diaphragm (near birth control, so probbably not the muscle)
-Who's yer Daddy
-Lumpy Pants
-Sofa King (as in Sofa King Rad)

Not as notable but awesome name none-the-less: Berm Reynolds (great trail)
  • 4 0
 Rude Rock in Queenstown was originally named Cock Rock, more descriptive, and a fun music joke.
  • 1 0
 We've got "Mother in Law" "Rocky Balboa" "Loco El Coco" "Augustus Pablo" "Wh@re No More" " B!tch" "Sh!tting Gears" "Loose Lips" "Van Damme" "Loving shovels" "Goldilocks" into "Three Bears" "Busted Nuts" "Blitzkrieg" "Fun Guy" just to name a few.....
  • 5 0
 Nailed it
  • 2 0
 Is that the one that joins Drop In Standards to Itchy Bits?
  • 4 1
 This man's body of work is incredible. Long time fan. www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdtD19tXX30
  • 1 0
 So now I'm convinced that guy is somehow related to Martin Short.
  • 3 0
 @iammarkstewart: Only Murders in the Building is one of his best roles.
  • 2 0
 @rrolly: I'll just go stick that on my D+ watchlist now. As long as Google is right and it's still on D+.
  • 1 0
 @iammarkstewart: But have you ridden your bike yet Mark?
Gilles says it doesn't count unless you post on Strava...
  • 2 0
 @iammarkstewart: Steve Martin is sooo good in it as well.
  • 2 0
 Explaining local trails while visitors roll their eyes upon hearing the fantasy of the people who applied the names to the trails.
  • 5 0
 Anal Intruder.
  • 3 0
 We in the Philippines have trails named Cemetery, Japanese Trail, and Shot gun trail.
  • 3 0
 My favorite trail name combination is “Ground Controll” to “Major Tom” near Hanging Rock in North Carolina.
  • 2 0
 Glad to have you back in the mix Jason. Whistler Valley might have the win here. Anal Intruder and Cop Killer are designed to offend.
  • 4 0
 This is good content.
  • 4 1
 Had a great ride last week - Double D to Muffin Top to Meat Grinder
  • 3 1
 Trails in Woodhil Forest, Auckland got renamed because someone got triggered.
  • 3 1
 local trail was named Mentally Sensitive... then they changed it to Sheep Run. Lame.
  • 2 0
 Who even cares about the legal trails in Laguna hahaha
  • 2 0
 When did they do that? I haven’t ridden that trail in years
  • 1 0
 Here we have such as: hollywood (renamed Bollywood) use to have some spicy move
We have mysterio ,gambass, go psy, peanut ,goldorack, etc…
  • 2 0
 I suppose there’s comedy for every person out there.
  • 1 0
 locally by me the funniest one is CMP (Crap my pants). Last summer in the Adirondacks I rode "Trail of Broken Dreams".
  • 2 0
 Got a local trail called "Poopie D"
  • 1 0
 Here in Los Alamos we have a trail named after it's builder, Richard Less. Yup, you got it.
  • 2 0
 Hitlers revenge and Rocky Ball buster are a few of our locals
  • 2 1
 NC is all such and such ridge or this n that gap... boring.
  • 1 0
 the whole SE is like this. "person or place name" + "geographical feature or type of tree" - eg Avery Creek, Sherrill's Ford, Jake Mountain, Burnett Ridge, etc
  • 1 0
 Heliski run in Valdez- "Holy Shit"
  • 1 0
 Doesn't Whistler have a trail named Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson?
  • 2 0
 It's just Dwayne Johnson. Aptly named after the large rock drop on it.
  • 1 0
 We have a trail "Bleeder." Have bled on it....
  • 1 0
 Just named our new trail Bigfoots butt..UK but I do love a BF documentary!
  • 1 0
 I didn't know Brian Park did sketch comedy as well. A man of many talents
  • 1 0
 Hysterectomiser is my fave in Spain!
  • 1 0
 "Pecan Pie" -Captain Janeway
  • 1 1
 Yep. That was worth watching. Martin nailed it!
  • 1 0
 Priceless. Too funny.
  • 3 3
 halarious!
  • 2 0
 hollerious
Below threshold threads are hidden







Copyright © 2000 - 2024. Pinkbike.com. All rights reserved.
dv65 0.099927
Mobile Version of Website